"Gray. Safelike." IV (Sunfish, 1985)

[riptide_asylum]

Title: Gray. Safelike.
Rating/Category: R / Pre-Slash
Summary: Next time, he'll find a smaller maniac.



Part Three

The cold was a shock; its electric punch so much worse than anything Haskell dished out. Nick struggled to open his eyes in the gray green water. After a moment to orient himself, he stroked hard for daylight. Breaking the surface and blinking back saltwater, Nick looked around for Cody and Murray. He searched desperately for the familiar blond head. "Cody!"

Nick saw no one at all save their three captors, standing along the rail of The Happy Hooker. Who now all had guns. Nick dove just as he heard the first shot.

The soft thwoc of a bullet in water alerted him to how much danger remained, and he forced his brain past the freezing cold, the pain and the panic.

Other bullets pebbled the ocean around him and Nick stayed under, watching their vapor trails chase him through the water. His lungs and eyes burned with equal strength, his clothes heavy, he shook with cold and kicked blindly, unable to feel his feet. The hail of bullets continued and he knew the safe money meant swimming out of range. But there was just one problem.

Nick surfaced briefly, fighting to keep the slop of waves out of his mouth. "Cody! Murray!"

The ocean was empty, save for Haskell's boat and two others in the distance, too far away to do them any good. His teeth chattered mercilessly and a sharp stabbing pain in his side caused panic to well up in Nick's throat. Come on, he thought. Pull it together. You've gotta find them.

A rough shout carried across the waves, but it was not the one he'd hoped for. His efforts to find his partners had alerted their erstwhile client to his current location.

Nick forced himself back under the cold waves.

As more bullets pocked the water, Nick tried to figure out his next move. He didn't think he'd been hurt all that badly, just a couple bruises, a knock on the head and whatever the hell his side was doing. Unless that was the concussion talking and it was worse than he thought. More than anything though, he needed to find his partners. Murray at least, needed medical attention, and Cody wouldn't survive long in these temperatures, either.

Cody. Nick felt the absence keenly, unable to protect or even locate his partner. They'd made it through hell before, through so much worse than one smalltime asshole with a revolver. It wasn't fair.

But right at that moment, running out of air, five feet below the surface of the Pacific Ocean, dodging bullets and debating his own concussion, Nick wasn't sure how he could save any of them.

It didn't make sense, he thought, swimming away from the deadly rain. We both went over the side together, he should have been right next to me when I surfaced. And where the hell was Murray?

Off to the left he sensed shapes moving in the water. Big shapes, dark and tangled. Great. Sharks. Except sharks don't have legs, his brain reminded him as he broke the surface, this time behind Haskell's boat, the letters of its name and mooring leering down at him. Sharks can survive this cold, he thought. They could probably also survive being shot at by however many armed people there were on Haskell's boat. Maybe Haskell is a shark. Maybe he ate Cody and Murray.

Nick shut his eyes with a grimace. Stop it. He fought to remain in control as his reserves of energy ebbed away. That's just the cold and the headache talking. You're gonna have to fight for this too.

When Nick opened his eyes, he was still in the water, still injured and freezing, but the morning seemed clearer somehow, brighter. He looked at the mountains standing guard over Button Bay. It was a long way and they'd have to make it past the boulders, but it might be their only chance. The three of them were in no shape to take on the Haskells and their pet ape.

Nick saw movement at the edge of the boat and preemptively ducked under the surface. Think, he told himself sternly. You all went in the water, and when you came up, you couldn't see them. Where did they go?

Of course.

Nick swam hard for the other side of the Haskell's boat, the side everyone wasn't leaning over and shooting from. When he surfaced, Cody gave him the widest grin Nick could remember seeing in years. Murray was on his back, floating peacefully, kicking softly as Cody held him more or less horizontal. Nick swam close.

The feeling in his chest when he saw Cody again--not drowned, not shot, just remarkably and beautifully alive--gave Nick the strength to keep fighting. They weren't safe yet, but it no longer seemed the remote possibility it had been earlier. Nick motioned to Cody to stay put. Cody looked back at him reproachfully: where am I gonna go?

Smartass.

Nick swam towards the bow and peeked around it to get a better view of the bay. It was still the same long, treacherous way away it had been two minutes earlier. But it was better than drowning or being shot. And it seemed like the two boats he'd spotted earlier had moved closer. A lot closer. He turned back to signal Cody, who towed Murray along towards the front of the boat with him.

Hanging there in the water together, supporting Murray between them, Nick and Cody silently hashed out boats-vs-rocks. Eventually the rocks won.

Nick stared at his partner, the both of them freezing and injured but still kicking, still fighting for survival. Nothing ever changed for them. Different day, different jungle. Despite the cold, Cody was still smiling, and Nick fought the urge to pull him close in the water, to find out then and there where they stood.

Murray, however, chose that moment to be overwhelmed by seawater, and began spluttering and splashing, fighting against Cody's support and Nick's efforts to calm him. The noise brought Haskell and his associates to the the other railing. Haskell laughed, guttural and mean. "Time's up, wiseguy."

The sound of sirens split the morning air. "THIS IS THE UNITED STATES COAST GUARD. DROP YOUR WEAPONS AND PREPARE TO BE BOARDED."

The two boats Nick had seen earlier were bearing down on The Happy Hooker at full speed, lights and sirens blaring. And unless the concussion was affecting his vision, Lieutenant Quinlan was standing at the bow of the lead boat. Nick didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

Haskell had a more decisive response. Heedless of the odds, he turned and opened fire on the oncoming boats. The authorities returned fire and Haskell was cut down in seconds, slumping against the railing as Candy screamed and sobbed. The gun dropped from his lifeless hand, disappearing beneath the waves with barely a splash.

Nick relaxed in the water, watching the lead boat draw near. He no longer cared about Haskell, the ape, sharks, or anything that didn't involve getting the three of them out of the water and into something warm and dry.

Uniformed arms reached for them, and he and Cody pushed Murray forward, treading water as they watched the little guy pulled up onto the boat, wrapped in blankets. A fresh round of hands reached for them, and Nick pushed Cody forward. His partner grabbed his arms; Nick understood Cody wanted him to get out of the water first, but he couldn't imagine a world in which he'd let that happen. He gestured to the personnel on-board, pointing to Cody. Strong, competent arms reached out, and as Cody was pulled away, Nick felt something in him give out. He'd done what he set out to do.

Watching as Coast Guard medics wrapped Cody in a blanket, thrusting a steaming mug into his hands, Nick noticed the whole scene--his partners, safe and warm, the boats, Lt Quinlan scowling and yelling--get gradually smaller, as if it was retreating down the end of a long tunnel. He heard yelling and saw the hands that reached for him were very far away. They looked fuzzy somehow, as if seen through a haze of water.

Nick closed his eyes.

There was the sensation of a splash, the rocking of the waves turned violent, then arms around his chest, lifting his head above the surface. "Nick!"

Cody.

He leaned back, giving in to the urge to rest against his partner, to lean his head into the curve of Cody's neck, enjoying the strong arms cradling him, saving him. "I gotcha, buddy," Nick heard. "I gotcha."

Eyes closed, Nick savored the feel of Cody's jaw against his forehead, his arms around his chest. The cold and the pain were forgotten.

Strange hands reached for him, warm dry hands that were not Cody's and Nick fought.

Just a few more minutes. Please.

But the hands were insistent and overwhelming, and they lifted him out of the water and tore him out of Cody's arms, till he lay in a heap, shivering and exhausted, on the metal deck. The scratchy wool blanket wrapped around him was no substitute for what he'd just had, where he'd just been. Nick put his head on his arms, tucking his knees underneath him.

"Nick?"

Cody.

"Nick? Somebody do something for him!"

It hurts. It hurts without you.

The strange hands reached for him again, pressing and probing, but Nick remained resolutely curled up in a ball. Only when he felt those hands, the ones he recognized immediately, did he open his eyes. Cody's face was inches from his own, blue eyes wide with concern. "Nick?" He laid a hand along Nick's jaw. "Come on buddy, please be okay," he whispered. "Nick, please." Cody's voice broke.

Nick wanted to say it, to tell him everything right then and there, but the strange hands won out--there were just too many of them--and they pulled him back, away from Cody, onto a stretcher, into the darkness.

It hurts without you.

--------------------

The two of them had come back from the hospital and gone to their separate bunks without a word, both of them sleeping through the rest of the day, on into the evening.

The ER docs had insisted on keeping Murray overnight--overday, really, but Nick's internal clock had hit the snooze button hours ago so he still thought of it as overnight--for observation. As far as Nick could tell, the only thing wrong with Murray at that point was that he'd have to decide which of the two pretty nurses hovering at his bedside to hit on. Or, thought Nick, pouring coffee into matching mugs, maybe he'd go for both. He idly handed Cody one of the mugs as he turned to head up on deck.

He didn't feel ready to face Cody, to sort through the events of the past two days. Nick knew he couldn't go on hiding his feelings, but he certainly wasn't in a rush to have that particular conversation. Especially not before coffee.

Which was unfortunate, because Cody had different plans. "Nick!" he began brightly. "You're awake."

Nick stopped in his tracks, took a sip of coffee and turned around. "Yep," he answered. "How're you feeling?"

"Glad to be back," Cody answered with a quick shake of his head. "Real glad. How about you? Haskell kicked you around pretty hard."

Nick shrugged and leaned back against the coffee counter. "I've had worse." In truth, he was fairly sure a couple ribs were cracked and he'd been pissing blood, but he'd never admit that to his partner.

Cody sat clutching his coffee at the table. "Nick, if Quinlan hadn't bugged Haskell's boat, we could have been in serious trouble."

Nick nodded. "But he did, and we weren't. We even got a special thank you from the Coasties for catching Haskell in the act. I'm thinking of framing mine," he said facetiously.

Cody snorted.

The two of them drank their coffee in silence as one long minute stretched into two, and the tension in the salon noticeably increased.

"Cody," Nick finally asked. "What's going on?"

"Buddy, we cut it pretty close this time," Cody managed. "When Haskell had that gun to my head...when he threw Murray into the water and we..." He spread his hands, at a loss for words.

Nick assessed him carefully. "We've gotten out of worse shit, man, you know that. I mean, it was just the two of them against the two of us....and Murray," he amended. "Hell, if our hands hadn't been tied, it would have been a fair fight."

"Nick, they both had guns," Cody countered icily. "You threw yourself in the path of a maniac with a gun. A large maniac with a gun."

Nick smirked. "I'll try to find a smaller maniac next time. Besides, we could've taken them. And he wasn't that much bigger than me. Be fair." He stopped, catching sight of his partner's expression. He took his coffee over to the table and slid into the booth. "Come on, Cody," he said softly. "What's really eating you?"

"Aw hell, I don't know," Cody said, unfolding from the end of the cramped bench. He went over to the coffee area to grab the pot, then returned to the table. Nick held his cup up. Cody refilled Nick's cup, and then his own. He returned the pot to its place on the sideboard and crossed back to the table, sinking back down onto the bench. "It's just, I guess between Haskell and the thing with getting the safe in the first place--"

He and Nick met each other's eyes.

"--this whole thing has got me thinking. We lead pretty fucked up lives."

Nick raised his eyebrows. "I thought we were doing great so far."

"Aw come off it, Nick! How many people get shot at as much as we do? Beat up? Kidnapped?"

Nick stared at his partner, puzzled. "You want to sell the agency?" he asked. "Go back to doing harbor tours fulltime?"

"No! That's not what I meant--that's not what I'm trying to say." Cody sighed. "Buddy, this is really not going the way I'd planned." He squeezed his eyes shut and held two fingers to the bridge of his nose, as if fending off a headache. Nick resisted the urge to put an arm around him. This wasn't a Cody he was used to seeing.

His partner tried again: "What I'm trying to say, Nick, is that I'm having the time of my life running this agency with you. You and me, we make a great team, and I don't want anything to change that. But--" Cody took a deep breath, staring at the table. "Nick, how many bad guys are gonna need to shoot at us before we admit what's going on here?"

Nick took a sip of coffee while he tried to figure out how to answer. Or even what the question was.

"Nick, there's nothing about this that's normal," Cody said, exasperated. "I mean, you and I, we went through hell together. Hell! And the only way I could have come out the other side was by sticking with you. Don't think I don't know that. But that's the thing, Nick," Cody said, punctuating his words with a finger on the tabletop. "You and I, nothing's changed. Everything's still..." He trailed off and sat back in the booth with a discontented thump.

"Cody, everything's changed. We're home now," Nick said slowly. "We're not even MPs. We're practically civilians."

"Nick, we'll never be civilians. Look at us! We run a detective agency from our boat. Yesterday morning we got up, went out diving and nearly lost our lives rescuing some thug's dirty Polaroids."

Our boat? Nick thought.

"And then the same evening, our own client broke into the boat, kidnapped us, beat the hell out of you and our....Murray, and tried to drown us again. Nick, buddy, I don't know what your concept of normal is, but mine's a little less action-packed!"

"Yeah but admit it, Cody, you like this stuff. You'd never last in a nine-to-five. How many times have you told me that?"

Cody looked down at his hands, folded loosely on the tabletop. "Nick," he said softly, "The only reason I like this is because I get to do it with you."

The tension in the salon was palpable. Finally something inside snapped and Nick slid towards his partner, close enough for their shoulders to touch. There were no words adequate for what he wanted to say, but he knew he had to try.

"Cody," he said gently. "You and me? What we've got together is...it's more than anyone can take away with a gun or a couple punches, okay? We're tougher than that, we're....we're more than that, together. Hell--" Nick broke off, strangling a sob. "You. You're my..."

There are no words, Nick finally realized, but Cody leaned in and kissed him, making all words useless.

Dreams had nothing on this.

Cody's mouth against his own, his lips, soft and urgent, his tongue gentle and questing, Nick felt as if someone had dunked him in a hot bath after a cold swim, electric and tingling head to toe. Nick wasn't used to getting what he wanted in life, and kissing Cody, after agonizing about it for so long, was overwhelming and nearly unbearable.

Eventually the two of them broke apart and sat staring at each other.

"Nick," Cody said. "Say something."

"I can't," Nick said finally. Then he amended it to: "Cody, do you have any idea how long I've wanted to do that?"

His partner shrugged. "Maybe half as long as I have?" he asked.

Nick started to roll his eyes, then thought better of it. "Yeah, maybe," he said instead. "Maybe."

Cody kissed him again. He slid an arm along Nick's side, intending to pull him close, but Nick couldn't help the gasp of pain that escaped him at the contact with his broken ribs. Cody sat back, wide-eyed and horrified. Which hurt worse than the ribs. He gave Cody a half-smile and said, "It's just--" just as Cody said, "Maybe we shouldn't--"

They both stopped. Nick waited.

"Maybe we should take this slowly," Cody suggested, watching Nick for his reaction.

Nick shook his head. "They're just ribs. I've got more." Cody smiled. "Besides..." Nick started again, then stopped, the words frozen on his lips.

"Besides?" Cody asked, tilting his head.

Nick closed his eyes. Talking was easier when he wasn't looking directly at Cody, thinking about how much and where he wanted to kiss him. "Cody," he said. "I don't think I know how to take it slow with you. I don't even know if I know where our friendship ends and...and this begins." He opened his eyes. "All I know is that I love you. So damn much, Cody. And I just want to keep loving you, no matter what.

Cody's face lit up and he pulled Nick close, careful to keep his arms round Nick's shoulders this time. He cupped Nick's jaw with one hand. "I love you too, buddy. Always have."

They stared at one another for a second, then Nick leaned in and kissed his partner. When they broke apart this time they didn't move far, still pulled in as tight as possible, and Nick reveled in the feel of Cody's palm against his face, strong, stable, comforting. Cody rested his forehead against Nick's and closed his eyes. The two of them sat there for awhile, and Nick let go of all the tension, all the responsibility he'd been carrying around for the past two days, for the past ten years.

Suddenly, Cody pulled back. "What?" Nick asked.

"Buddy, do you really think we can make this work?"

"What, you and me? Us? Together? Damn Cody, I sure hope so."

"Although..." Cody sat up and Nick tried to kiss him again, but his partner dodged, sliding his lips along Nick's jaw and down his neck. Nick thought he might shatter the cup in his grip it felt so good. He closed his eyes and exposed more of his neck for Cody, his breath escaping gently. All of a sudden Cody stopped and leaned back, a pleased expression on his face. Nick stared, bewildered.

"Seems to be working great so far," Cody said.

Nick laughed, the smile going deep behind his eyes. He toyed with the coffee cup, suddenly struck by the realization that Boz had been right (again) about whether he should have told Cody earlier, and all the potential for time lost and found. Nick groaned at the thought.

Cody raised his eyebrows. "It was just a kiss."

"That's never gonna be just a kiss," Nick answered, sliding an arm around his partner, pulling him close again.

"Hey," Cody said softly.

"Mmmm," Nick answered, nuzzling his partner's jaw, feeling rather than seeing his grin.

Cody kissed him again, soft and slow, and it was Nick's turn to grin when they parted. "What?" he asked.

Cody answered with a smile. "No more safe jobs."