riptide_asylum (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
riptide_asylum) wrote2010-03-08 10:52 pm
riptide_asylum) wrote2010-03-08 10:52 pm
Entry tags:
"What Dreams May Come" (Dreamtime, 1974)
Title: What Dreams May Come
Rating: PG
Summary: Some dreams are shared...
There's a special kind of darkness that comes with the dreams. A darkness so thick I choke on it, feel it wrapped around me, holding me back. Then fire leaps up, burning my eyes. Lighting death and pain, the trail awash with blood, and just ahead, the body of a man.
I want to scream, I want to run, but I can't. The body on the ground's looking at me, staring with eyes I know better than my own. I've failed him, lost him, left him here to die alone, and now it's too late.
"Cody. Cody!"
Hands pull at me, hands that want to take me from Nick, but I won't go. I wont leave him, not now, I cant leave him to the flames.
"Cody, man, take it easy. Cody!" The words don't make sense, but the hand on my shoulder's speaking a language I'll never forget. It opens my eyes, brings me back, where nothing else could.
It's still dark, but not the awful blackness of the dream. I manage a breath, daring to believe at last, to meet the same blue eyes I saw so recently on the trail. "Nick?"
"It's okay, big guy. Just a dream."
His eyes are so warm, and he's so close, holding me, stroking me, his fingers talking on my skin, saying everything I need. Everything I've lived without, all the months since I got back.
He knows what I need, even when I don't. That's what starts me crying, and he knows then too, climbing on the bed, crowding close the way we used to over there. He pulls my head down on his shoulder, strokes my hair. Holds me with everything he's got.
"I got you now." I can believe that at last, I don't have to be alone anymore. Alone in the civilian life that's the furthest thing from home I can imagine. Nick's back at my side, and maybe now I can remember how to breathe. I got no idea how I made it so long without him.
I want to tell him that, but I got no words. The best I can do is grab his hand, let my fingers do the talking. Here, partner. With you. Here. It's not what I want to say, but it's all I have, and he gets it, that's the thing.
"I know, Cody," he whispers, and only holds me tighter.
There's so many things I want to say, but all I can manage is his name, rough and broken on my tongue. That's when he starts talking, pulling my head down against his chest, twining his fingers in my hair.
He dreams the same as me. Dreams of war, dreams of death. Dreams of me. When he tells me that, it's like a pardon, and I find my voice at last. "Every night I dream you die." It's been killing me slowly, carrying that around, and telling him hurts like a knife in the guts.
Nick doesn't speak until my tears have stopped, until he's stroked my pain away. That's when he raises my head, looks in my eyes. "Every night without you, I did."
Rating: PG
Summary: Some dreams are shared...
There's a special kind of darkness that comes with the dreams. A darkness so thick I choke on it, feel it wrapped around me, holding me back. Then fire leaps up, burning my eyes. Lighting death and pain, the trail awash with blood, and just ahead, the body of a man.
I want to scream, I want to run, but I can't. The body on the ground's looking at me, staring with eyes I know better than my own. I've failed him, lost him, left him here to die alone, and now it's too late.
"Cody. Cody!"
Hands pull at me, hands that want to take me from Nick, but I won't go. I wont leave him, not now, I cant leave him to the flames.
"Cody, man, take it easy. Cody!" The words don't make sense, but the hand on my shoulder's speaking a language I'll never forget. It opens my eyes, brings me back, where nothing else could.
It's still dark, but not the awful blackness of the dream. I manage a breath, daring to believe at last, to meet the same blue eyes I saw so recently on the trail. "Nick?"
"It's okay, big guy. Just a dream."
His eyes are so warm, and he's so close, holding me, stroking me, his fingers talking on my skin, saying everything I need. Everything I've lived without, all the months since I got back.
He knows what I need, even when I don't. That's what starts me crying, and he knows then too, climbing on the bed, crowding close the way we used to over there. He pulls my head down on his shoulder, strokes my hair. Holds me with everything he's got.
"I got you now." I can believe that at last, I don't have to be alone anymore. Alone in the civilian life that's the furthest thing from home I can imagine. Nick's back at my side, and maybe now I can remember how to breathe. I got no idea how I made it so long without him.
I want to tell him that, but I got no words. The best I can do is grab his hand, let my fingers do the talking. Here, partner. With you. Here. It's not what I want to say, but it's all I have, and he gets it, that's the thing.
"I know, Cody," he whispers, and only holds me tighter.
There's so many things I want to say, but all I can manage is his name, rough and broken on my tongue. That's when he starts talking, pulling my head down against his chest, twining his fingers in my hair.
He dreams the same as me. Dreams of war, dreams of death. Dreams of me. When he tells me that, it's like a pardon, and I find my voice at last. "Every night I dream you die." It's been killing me slowly, carrying that around, and telling him hurts like a knife in the guts.
Nick doesn't speak until my tears have stopped, until he's stroked my pain away. That's when he raises my head, looks in my eyes. "Every night without you, I did."