"One Place I Have Seen" (Other, 1979)

[riptide_asylum]

Title: One Place I Have Seen
Rating: R
Summary: Christmas back east is a necessary evil

"Five years, Cody. I think I can ask that of you. One Christmas in five years is surely not too much?"

Cody cradled the phone and covered his eyes with his hand. "No, Mom. I mean, yes, Mom. Uh, I mean--"

"You'll come, then." His mother's voice assumed a satisfied tone. "I'll expect you Christmas Eve. Be sure and get an early flight--I can't stand visitors arriving after dark."

Cody put the phone down and stared at it. "Fuck."

"Don't sweat it, pal. I already packed for ya."

Cody started and looked up into Nick's sympathetic eyes. "But... I told you I wasn't gonna go."

"Yeah, but your mom... let's just say I know how she gets, you know?"

"You've never met her."

"Don't need to." Nick touched the back of Cody's hand lightly. "Go. You haven't seen her in months, an' you know how I am at Christmas. You'll have more fun without me, anyhow."

Cody flinched, and looked around the tiny one-room apartment. It wasn't much; since leaving the MPs and steady paychecks behind, it was all he and Nick could afford. It was shabby, and sparsely furnished. And it was home.

"I wanted to be here with you," he said quietly.

"Yeah, I know. An' you know I want you, too. But it's just another day, big guy. You gotta go see her some time."

Cody supposed that was true. He went downtown to book his flights with a heavy heart.

*

"I can't go."

"What d'you mean?" Nick turned from the pot he was stirring as Cody entered. "What's up?"

"Airfares." Cody came to the kitchenette and leaned against the counter, staring moodily at Nick. "More than I have saved, even if I used that money for the Woody's exhaust."

"Sign on for some extra shifts at the surf shop." Nick frowned. "I got nearly a hundred you can have--"

"I don't want your money. And extra shifts... we're talking a month's worth, Nick. They must'a raised the prices for Christmas, I guess. I can't go, it's as simple as that. And now I gotta ring her and tell her."

Cody went to the small table in the corner, lifted the phone receiver, and started to dial.

Nick went up behind him, rested one hand on his shoulder, and with the other, cut the connection. "You have to go, man."

"I can't." Cody bit his lip. "And I'm not gonna let her pay--"

"No, listen. You need to fly. I'll fly you, all right? We'll go in the Mimi."

"To--to Massachusetts? In the Mimi?"

"Sure, Cody. Why not?"

"But Nick... that's clear across the country! Three thousand miles, or damn close to!"

"Yup." Nick grinned. "Two days, and I figure we better allow for an extra fuel stop each day. The Mimi has a two thousand mile range, but I ain't tested her out under pressure. I don't figure crashlanding in your mother's lap is the Christmas surprise she's after."

Nick was so excited about the flight that in the end Cody let himself be persuaded. The idea of Nick's presence in Massachusetts at Christmas was immensely comforting on one level--while at the same time, the idea of his mother meeting Nick, drawing conclusions about him, passing her scathing judgement, made Cody nearly ill with anxiety.

And that was without the other possibility, the chance that his mother might somehow divine what he and Nick really were to one another.

*

"You know we'll have to be real low-key," Cody ventured from the co-pilot's seat, as they approached Worcester. The Mimi was growling away ferociously, with no sign now of the frightening cough that had held them up three hours at midday until Nick traced it to a blockage in the fuel line.

"I know." Nick shot Cody a sideways smile. "We ain't been civilians long enough I got any chance of forgetting."

Cody gave a short laugh. "Yeah, well. If only the worst thing my mom could do was give us a dishonorable discharge..."

"Hey. Don't worry, man. I got this, huh? I'm your good buddy, and you been kind enough to invite me along for Christmas, on account I got no place else to go."

Cody nodded. It was the story they'd agreed on--and true, in the most part; Nick's closest family were cousins, and while he would have been welcome to spend the holiday with them, since returning from Vietnam he had spent it either alone or with Cody. And invariably drunk.

"And you don't have to worry. I won't get drunk." Nick grinned as Cody flushed. "Listen, if things go pear shaped, I'll just head back to the airfield and bunk down in Mimi. Don't sweat it."

"This is Massachusetts." Cody leaned toward the window for a better look. There was no snow--yet. "It's about forty degrees out there. You'll freeze your ass."

"Well, then, you'll have to warm it up for me again, huh?"

*

"And now we're really in trouble." Cody looked out the window at the lowering snow-clouds. "It's nearly dark."

"Told you to take a cab."

Cody shrugged. Hangaring Mimi had taken over an hour, and then there'd been a hold-up at the rental desk. The girl serving had been new, and confused about the paperwork. In the end they'd secured a gray Ford station wagon, and settled for Nick as sole driver. Adding a second driver to the form would have taken, in Cody's opinion, longer than the flight from California.

"Make a left here," he muttered. "Then it's fourth on the left."

Nick obeyed, and Cody took a deep breath, steeling himself. His family and the expectations they'd had for him. In California, his mother's veiled hints were easy to ignore, but here, her hopes already sat heavy and awkward on his shoulders.

Cody started as the car eased to a stop, and Nick laid a hand lightly on his knee. "You okay, big guy?"

Cody looked out the window at the palatial white house, then back at Nick. He felt sick. Take me home. Don't make me do this. He cleared his throat. "Never better. C'mon. I can't wait for you to meet my mom."

Cody jumped out of the car, went to the rear and started unloading their cases. Nick followed more slowly, and laid a hand on Cody's wrist as he hefted Nick's duffel. "Did I make you do this?" Nick said, low and urgent. "Are you wishing me at the devil?"

"No!" Cody froze, staring at Nick. "Buddy, no!"

"If this is too hard for you--" Nick gestured at the house "--say the word. I only thought about bein' with you. I never thought about how it was gonna be for you, tryin' to act natural for your mom with me hanging around."

Cody looked down for a moment, and swallowed hard. Then he looked back at Nick. "It might be kinda hard," he admitted in a low voice. "But Nick... not as hard as being without you."

*

It went better than Cody had feared. As always, he was tense and on guard, conscious of being second-best, overshadowed by his own ghost. But when he felt himself at his weakest, Nick touched his hip, reminded him that this time--this time--he had backup. That gave him the strength to smile and shake his head when his mother asked if he hadn't thought of returning to college.

And I haven't thought of getting married either, Mom. "No, no-one special. Nick and I are just, uh--"

"Adjusting to civilian life, Mrs. Allen," Nick picked up smoothly. "Once we're more settled, and have permanent jobs, things will be different."

Cody's mother gave a delicate shudder, and poured herself another glass of wine. "At least you're out of the army now, Cody. I was so afraid you were going to become a career soldier."

Just like your grandfather. Cody heard the words his mother didn't say. "I considered it." He watched her eyes narrow, her lips thin.

Nick elbowed him in the ribs. "Cody's been working in the tourism industry recently," he put in.

Cody grinned despite himself as his mother's features relaxed and she took Nick's bait. He supposed that in California, waxing hire surf-boards almost did count as tourism.

"You didn't tell me your friend was Italian," she murmured as Cody said goodnight. "But at least he's been well brought up."

Cody stared at his mother, incredulous and angry -- then caught Nick's eye over her shoulder. Nick couldn't have heard what she said, but his expression was all amused sympathy. And love.

Forgetting his outrage, Cody gave a low chuckle. "I wouldn't have brought him, otherwise." He kissed her cheek. "Goodnight, Mom."

*

Cody's old room was his no longer, the relics of his boyhood long since packed away in the attic in favor of a pleasant guest room in blue and apricot. The heavy curtains were the same color as the walls, the carpet, and with the door closed, Cody had the terrible sensation of the walls closing in.

He imagined California, listened for seagulls, but the hot, central-heated air stifled him.

His door cracked open. "Cody?" Nick slipped inside, clicking the door shut behind him, then grimacing at the decor. Suddenly the air tasted fresh and clean, the apricot walls receded to their proper place.

Cody pulled Nick close. "I don't like it here."

"I know. But it's good to see your mom, huh?"

Cody sighed. "I guess. But she wanted a lawyer, y'know? And grandkids."

"They all do." Nick kissed him softly. "She wants to know you're happy, baby. An' for her... happy's hard to define as few bucks and a place of our own. You know?"

"I guess," Cody said again. "Ah, Nick... how're we gonna get through two more days?"

"Easy." Nick pulled back, staring into Cody's eyes. "Stop thinking about this lawyer-guy you're not, huh? Enjoy the good things about seeing your mom, ignore the rest. And hey, when it's tough, I've got your back. Okay?"

"Okay," Cody said, relaxing for the first time since they'd crossed the threshold. "I love you, Nick."

"I love you too. Now put your sweats on, and let's go."

Mystified, Cody turned to obey. "Where are we going? And why do I need sweats?"

"My room." Nick had the guest suite over the garage. "And you're wearing sweats because we're military, big guy. We get up early and, uh, work out. That way, no-one's gonna be surprised when we come in to breakfast together." Nick carefully mussed the pale-blue and apricot bed coverlet, surveyed his handiwork critically, then artistically knocked a couple of pillows on the floor. "There."

Cody stared. He'd resigned himself to the nights alone, and now Nick was offering him a reprieve. "Really?" he breathed.

"Really," Nick said, in a tone that brooked no argument. "Think I need to stick a pillow in the bed, too?"

"No." Cody donned his sweats and grabbed his winter jacket. "If she asks, I joined you for a Christmas nightcap."

*

The guest suite was more plainly decorated in white and pale green. But neither Nick nor Cody paid any attention to the decor. The large room was separate from the house, giving them precious privacy, and sported a double bed.

"This is bigger than our place, man," Nick muttered, stretching out on the mattress and pulling Cody close.

"Size ain't everything," Cody replied.

Nick choked off a laugh and slid a hand down to cup Cody's package. "I like the size of this."

They were both tired after the long day in the air, and for a moment, Cody thought his body wasn't going to react to Nick's touch. Then Nick kissed him, deep, slow and perfect, and the stresses and fears of the day fell away in a rush.

Cody melted into Nick's arms, groaning softly as he hardened. Nick kissed him again, soft, then pushed him onto his back and climbed between his legs. "Love you," Nick murmured, lowering himself on top of Cody.

"Love you too."

Nick started a rhythm, rocking his hips against Cody's, and tired though Cody was, he responded eagerly. As the feeling built, Nick slid a hand between them and squeezed their dicks together, applying just a hint of extra pressure.

It was enough--Cody arched off the bed, his orgasm surprising him with its intensity. With a grunt of satisfaction, Nick dropped heavy on his chest, following him over the edge.

"Thought I was too tired," Cody said, rubbing his forehead against Nick's temple. He let his head drop back to the bed and traced the sweat-slick muscles on Nick's back.

Nick raised his head and gave Cody a crooked grin. "Sometimes that's when you need it most. You know?"

Cody stared into Nick's eyes, then kissed him. He knew; it was something they'd both learned in the war-torn jungle. He'd never thought to apply it to Massachusetts. "So far," he said softly, "I'd only call it a preliminary skirmish."

"Yeah, well, long as we maintain our defense." Nick grabbed tissues from the nightstand, rolled on his side, and started mopping at their sticky bellies. "At this time, Lieutenant Allen, launching an offensive would be a grave tactical error."

Cody gave a short laugh, and let Nick roll him over into the shelter of his body. Nick was right: fighting with his mother never resolved anything. He thought of the evening they'd already spent, and Nick's comforting presence.

"You're right," he said softly, and leaned his head back on Nick's shoulder. "I won't fight with her."

Nick's chest pressed against his back, Nick's breath warm on the back of his neck. Nick's leg between his own. Then Nick wrapped both arms around his chest, holding him tight, and kissed the back of his neck. "Merry Christmas."

"You gonna be okay tomorrow?"

"Yeah." Nick kissed the same spot again. "Don't worry about me."

"Can't help it."

"Well, you don't have to. Not this year, anyhow."

Cody rolled over to face Nick and lifted a hand to his cheek. "What do you mean?"

"I ain't thought about Christmas since we got in the Mimi." Nick rubbed his face against Cody's hand. "You need me, buddy. I got your back. And that... Cody, that trumps Christmas, you know? That trumps everything."

Cody stared into the sincerity in Nick's eyes, and pulled his lover close. "Thank you," he whispered, his heart lighter than it had been since the day his mother called. "For everything."

"Don't thank me," Nick murmured, and closed his eyes. "Thank Mimi."

"When she gets us back home--if she gets us home, I might even do that."

"You know she'll take us home, and when she does, I'm gonna hold you to that, big guy." Nick rolled over so that he was half on top of Cody, his weight warm and comforting.

"When it comes to that pink rustbucket, I don't know anything of the kind." Cody tightened his arms around Nick's chest. "How about you just hold me, huh?"

"Don't you worry, Cody. I ain't letting you go til we land back in King Harbor. Go to sleep, huh?"

Cody closed his eyes and relaxed into Nick's embrace. The bed was soft and strange, and far larger than he was used to. The air was crisp and cold, and tight in his chest lurked the tension engendered by his family. But Nick's arms were the same as ever, holding him safe against whatever came in the night. "Couldn't have done it without you, Nick. Couldn't have gotten through this alone."

There was a long silence, than Nick kissed Cody's forehead softly. "Merry Christmas, babe."