riptide_asylum (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
riptide_asylum) wrote2012-07-22 11:29 am
riptide_asylum) wrote2012-07-22 11:29 am
Entry tags:
"Science Makes Great French Fries" (Beach Boys, 1985)
Title: Science Makes Great French Fries
Rating: PG
Summary: Scientific progress goes baked.
“Look Boz, we’re not saying we don’t trust you--”
“Yes we are, Cody,” Nick added from behind his hand. “That’s exactly what we’re saying.”
Cody gave Nick a significant look before continuing. “It’s just that sometimes these experiments of yours...go...well, they go wrong, Boz. And they tend to take the Riptide with them.”
Murray made a sound like a partridge being stabbed with a knitting needle. “Go wrong! Go wrong, Cody!”
“Here we go,” Nick murmured. “Nice going, genius.”
Cody elbowed him just as Murray launched into a full-blown rant. “When Galileo suggested that perhaps the earth moved around the sun, was he going wrong, Cody? When Einstein formulated the theory of relativity, was that also going wrong, Cody? When Salk discovered the cure for penicillin on a slice of moldy bread, was he too going wrong?”
“Depends,” Cody said innocently. “Did Salk have roommates who were planning on eating the bread?”
Murray’s squawk was answer enough.
A potato sat on the desk behind him, blue and red wires protruding from a variety of holes. The wires led to a small black box bearing fresh solder at the joins, and from there, two stout gray cords led to the terminals of a marine battery.
“Now you’ve done it,” Nick said softly. “You know how he gets about his food.”
“Would you do something besides color commentary here, Nick?” Cody hissed. “I’m doin’ my best!”
“So I see,” Nick answered. He cleared his throat. “Look, Murray, Murray. Look. We get what you’re saying, we really do. I think what Cody was trying to say in his own inimitable way is that while we’re all in favor of your experiments, we’re a little worried that with this one, if anything should happen to proceed in a different manner from what you’re envisioning, you uh, well you could take out the Riptide’s forward engine, that’s all.”
Murray’s squawks redoubled in strength and volume. “A little respect, guys, that’s all I’m asking for here. Respect for scientific progress in action. Was it not Gregor Mendel himself who once said, ‘Fear nothing but the lack of respect for science in action, and fear nothing so much as action and science, without respec--” Murray broke off in mid-sentence. “Wait, maybe that was Marconi. Hang on, I think I’m getting the two M’s mixed up here. I just had it on the tip of my tongue, too. Wait, it’ll come to me. Which one of them talked about respect again?”
“Aretha Franklin,” Cody answered.
It was Nick’s turn with the significant glance department. Then he held up his hands in the traditional gesture of surrender. “Okay, okay, Murray, okay. You win. Go ahead with your, you know, and the potato. I’m sure you know what you’re doing and I’m sorry we ever doubted you.”
Cody opened his mouth to object and Nick silenced him with a brief headshake.
“Thank you, Nick, that means a lot to me, knowing that the two of you have faith that after 11 years of higher education -- 13 if you count the associate’s degree in shiatsu massage -- although I’m still not sure the Redondo Community Skin School is a truly accredited institution -- I, Murray Bozinsky, have the competence to undertake what is nothing more than a simple experiment to determine the true potential energy of one of the world’s most common root vegetables. Just think,” he continued, “what this could mean to the impoverished nations of the world!”
Nick and Cody shared a look, then headed out the door, Cody leaping lightly over the tachy pad as they went.
“The common potato, grown almost everywhere, might soon be capable of providing light and warmth to millions with just a...simple...” Murray looked at the spot where his roommates had been. “Adjustment. Ah well” Murray scooted around the desk and typed some final commands into his terminal, then checked the connections leading to the small black box on the desk. Overhead he heard footsteps, then a yip, shortly followed by a low chuckle, then more footsteps. Banishing the distractions from his mind, Murray crept back around the edge of the desk and, with bated breath, flicked a small silver switch on the front of the box.
Nothing happened for a few moments, then the potato began to steam. A second after that came a loud bzzzt! then the Riptide plunged into darkness.
It took a few seconds for all the equipment in the stateroom to finish whirring and beeping to a halt, but finally all was silent and Murray hung his head. “I’d been so sure...this time...” he muttered. He fumbled on the desk for a flashlight. “Guys, I’m sorry, you were right, I shouldn’t have used up all the potatoes on one round of experiments. I could have sworn I had the calculations right this time, but I promise, from now on, no more root vegetables without a backup light source.” He shone the flashlight at the open door of his stateroom. “Guys?”
From overhead came no sounds of angry footsteps or recriminations, but as he stood listening, Murray heard a muffled giggle followed by a soft thump. With a sigh, he surveyed his lab. Repairing the fuses would take some time. He had a long night ahead of him, but by the sounds of things, so did Nick and Cody. With luck, they'd never even notice the power was off.
Rating: PG
Summary: Scientific progress goes baked.
“Look Boz, we’re not saying we don’t trust you--”
“Yes we are, Cody,” Nick added from behind his hand. “That’s exactly what we’re saying.”
Cody gave Nick a significant look before continuing. “It’s just that sometimes these experiments of yours...go...well, they go wrong, Boz. And they tend to take the Riptide with them.”
Murray made a sound like a partridge being stabbed with a knitting needle. “Go wrong! Go wrong, Cody!”
“Here we go,” Nick murmured. “Nice going, genius.”
Cody elbowed him just as Murray launched into a full-blown rant. “When Galileo suggested that perhaps the earth moved around the sun, was he going wrong, Cody? When Einstein formulated the theory of relativity, was that also going wrong, Cody? When Salk discovered the cure for penicillin on a slice of moldy bread, was he too going wrong?”
“Depends,” Cody said innocently. “Did Salk have roommates who were planning on eating the bread?”
Murray’s squawk was answer enough.
A potato sat on the desk behind him, blue and red wires protruding from a variety of holes. The wires led to a small black box bearing fresh solder at the joins, and from there, two stout gray cords led to the terminals of a marine battery.
“Now you’ve done it,” Nick said softly. “You know how he gets about his food.”
“Would you do something besides color commentary here, Nick?” Cody hissed. “I’m doin’ my best!”
“So I see,” Nick answered. He cleared his throat. “Look, Murray, Murray. Look. We get what you’re saying, we really do. I think what Cody was trying to say in his own inimitable way is that while we’re all in favor of your experiments, we’re a little worried that with this one, if anything should happen to proceed in a different manner from what you’re envisioning, you uh, well you could take out the Riptide’s forward engine, that’s all.”
Murray’s squawks redoubled in strength and volume. “A little respect, guys, that’s all I’m asking for here. Respect for scientific progress in action. Was it not Gregor Mendel himself who once said, ‘Fear nothing but the lack of respect for science in action, and fear nothing so much as action and science, without respec--” Murray broke off in mid-sentence. “Wait, maybe that was Marconi. Hang on, I think I’m getting the two M’s mixed up here. I just had it on the tip of my tongue, too. Wait, it’ll come to me. Which one of them talked about respect again?”
“Aretha Franklin,” Cody answered.
It was Nick’s turn with the significant glance department. Then he held up his hands in the traditional gesture of surrender. “Okay, okay, Murray, okay. You win. Go ahead with your, you know, and the potato. I’m sure you know what you’re doing and I’m sorry we ever doubted you.”
Cody opened his mouth to object and Nick silenced him with a brief headshake.
“Thank you, Nick, that means a lot to me, knowing that the two of you have faith that after 11 years of higher education -- 13 if you count the associate’s degree in shiatsu massage -- although I’m still not sure the Redondo Community Skin School is a truly accredited institution -- I, Murray Bozinsky, have the competence to undertake what is nothing more than a simple experiment to determine the true potential energy of one of the world’s most common root vegetables. Just think,” he continued, “what this could mean to the impoverished nations of the world!”
Nick and Cody shared a look, then headed out the door, Cody leaping lightly over the tachy pad as they went.
“The common potato, grown almost everywhere, might soon be capable of providing light and warmth to millions with just a...simple...” Murray looked at the spot where his roommates had been. “Adjustment. Ah well” Murray scooted around the desk and typed some final commands into his terminal, then checked the connections leading to the small black box on the desk. Overhead he heard footsteps, then a yip, shortly followed by a low chuckle, then more footsteps. Banishing the distractions from his mind, Murray crept back around the edge of the desk and, with bated breath, flicked a small silver switch on the front of the box.
Nothing happened for a few moments, then the potato began to steam. A second after that came a loud bzzzt! then the Riptide plunged into darkness.
It took a few seconds for all the equipment in the stateroom to finish whirring and beeping to a halt, but finally all was silent and Murray hung his head. “I’d been so sure...this time...” he muttered. He fumbled on the desk for a flashlight. “Guys, I’m sorry, you were right, I shouldn’t have used up all the potatoes on one round of experiments. I could have sworn I had the calculations right this time, but I promise, from now on, no more root vegetables without a backup light source.” He shone the flashlight at the open door of his stateroom. “Guys?”
From overhead came no sounds of angry footsteps or recriminations, but as he stood listening, Murray heard a muffled giggle followed by a soft thump. With a sigh, he surveyed his lab. Repairing the fuses would take some time. He had a long night ahead of him, but by the sounds of things, so did Nick and Cody. With luck, they'd never even notice the power was off.