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riptide_asylumTitle: All The Time In The World
Rating: PG
Summary: Nick's away at reserves, and being alone is hard on Cody.
A pretty girl -- any girl. To fill his arms, his eyes, his time, leave no space for other thoughts. That's what he needs.
Even though the dance floor leaves him cold, the food is ashes in his mouth, her touch as hard as granite on his skin, meaningless and empty.
Cody finds smiles and conversation from a well of lies he keeps inside, the only place inside him he can touch right now. The rest -- the rest is far too deep, too hard, too real. One touch there, he'll fall apart, and that's not okay, not now.
He wants Nick, needs Nick, thinks maybe he'll die if Nick doesn't walk in the place in the next five minutes, but that's not okay either. That's why he needs the girl.
It's a long, cold, empty night in her bed. He dare not sleep -- he needs both hands and all his strength to hold the mask -- but she kisses him good morning with lingering eyes and sweetly cloying hands, so he knows he's succeeded. His lies are her truths.
His truth is Nick.
The boat's as cold and clean as he'd left it, his stateroom as empty, his heart as heavy. One more week. The answerphone delivers a cheerful message about girls and a good time, words in Nick's voice, meaningless without his presence.
Cody wants to close his eyes and cry, close down, close shop. Haul anchor and sail for safety, but past experience tells him that's an illusion. There's no safety at sea, not without Nick, just as there's no peace for him ashore.
He battens the Riptide down and gives in for an hour, maybe two -- hides out below in silent aloneness, away from time, away from fear. It's Nick's voice that brings him back, sharp on the answerphone, cutting through his silence. "Pick up, Cody. Damn it, I know you're there. Cody!"
"Nick…"
"I'm coming home."
"You don't have to…" Cody's disoriented, dizzy, and something tells him he's been out more than his hour.
"I been calling for two days." Nick's clipped, short -- angry to anyone who doesn't know him like Cody knows him.
"I didn't mean to scare you." Guilt blooms in Cody's chest -- guilt for Nick's fear, guilt for letting himself hide. Guilt for the lost day. "I'm fine, really. I've been, uh, busy."
"And I'm still coming home. I'll be with you by ten tomorrow morning."
It's a reprieve, water in the desert, an eleventh hour pardon. Cody can make it one night, they both know that. Cody takes a shaky breath. "Thanks."
When Nick touches down, Cody's already there. He's been at the helipad most of the night, but Nick doesn't need to know that. Although one look at Nick's face, and Cody has the idea Nick knows anyhow.
"How'd you get away early?" Cody asks, light, casual, making conversation.
Nick's eyes are anything but light, anything but casual. Conversation's the last thing on his mind. "Take me home, Cody. Figure we've both of us had a rough ten days, huh?"
"Sure." Cody can afford to be boisterous, now. Teasing. "Julie, I think her name was. Man, she sure kept me on my toes."
"Yeah?" Nick's arm slides into place around Cody's shoulders, and Cody can breathe again, see again. "You gonna introduce me? She got any good looking friends?"
Cody leans into Nick and heads for the Woody. "You don't mind, I think I need a week off girls."
Nick chuckles as they slide into the Woody, as the ancient engine coughs its way to life. "Just you'n me, some beers and some fishing, hey? Whaddaya say?"
"You're reading my mail." Cody guns the old car, in a hurry at last. Last thing he wants is to miss the tide.
Nick's hand finds his thigh, squeezes. "We got time, man. Take it easy."
Cody reflects on the sun and the fish, and how neither waits for man. "Not if we wanna get out of the harbor today, we don't."
"All I want today is a cold beer, a long nap, and a pizza." Nick smacks his lips, hand still on Cody's leg. "That suit you, big guy? Tomorrow, we'll go on out an' show those fish who's boss, you know?"
Cody eases back on the accelerator. A day with Nick in the quiet sanctuary of the Riptide is nothing short of Paradise. "Guess they'll wait a day," he agrees, and drops his own hand over Nick's. "Thanks, buddy. For everything. For coming back."
"Thanks for being here," Nick says, and there's a catch in his voice. But when Cody looks at him, his smile is easy, open, and there's no trace of trouble on his face. "C'mon, babe. Dunno about you, but I need that nap bad."
"Me, too," Cody admits, easing the Woody into its parking space. "Man, that Jinny…"
"Thought you said Julie." Nick's grin robs the words of sting, and Cody just laughs and climbs out of the car.
"We didn't talk much."
"Figures." Nick's arm's back where it belongs, and Cody's lightheaded, delirious with joy, high on having his partner back. If Nick's arm wasn't around him, he'd fall down in a heap.
"Beer first? Or nap?"
"Nap." Nick makes a big deal out of yawning, but it's the way he pulls Cody against his chest that's the real deal.
Cody's scared he'll break, scared the well of lies isn't deep enough for this, scared the thing he's been fighting all week, alone, might somehow snatch him now. Then Nick's holding him, really holding him, steering him on board, below, away from the sun, the light, the girls, the world.
Nick's the light in his darkness, his way home. His world. All he needs.
"Don't let me go, Nick. I just need a minute…"
"Take it easy, big guy. We got all the time in the world."
Rating: PG
Summary: Nick's away at reserves, and being alone is hard on Cody.
A pretty girl -- any girl. To fill his arms, his eyes, his time, leave no space for other thoughts. That's what he needs.
Even though the dance floor leaves him cold, the food is ashes in his mouth, her touch as hard as granite on his skin, meaningless and empty.
Cody finds smiles and conversation from a well of lies he keeps inside, the only place inside him he can touch right now. The rest -- the rest is far too deep, too hard, too real. One touch there, he'll fall apart, and that's not okay, not now.
He wants Nick, needs Nick, thinks maybe he'll die if Nick doesn't walk in the place in the next five minutes, but that's not okay either. That's why he needs the girl.
It's a long, cold, empty night in her bed. He dare not sleep -- he needs both hands and all his strength to hold the mask -- but she kisses him good morning with lingering eyes and sweetly cloying hands, so he knows he's succeeded. His lies are her truths.
His truth is Nick.
The boat's as cold and clean as he'd left it, his stateroom as empty, his heart as heavy. One more week. The answerphone delivers a cheerful message about girls and a good time, words in Nick's voice, meaningless without his presence.
Cody wants to close his eyes and cry, close down, close shop. Haul anchor and sail for safety, but past experience tells him that's an illusion. There's no safety at sea, not without Nick, just as there's no peace for him ashore.
He battens the Riptide down and gives in for an hour, maybe two -- hides out below in silent aloneness, away from time, away from fear. It's Nick's voice that brings him back, sharp on the answerphone, cutting through his silence. "Pick up, Cody. Damn it, I know you're there. Cody!"
"Nick…"
"I'm coming home."
"You don't have to…" Cody's disoriented, dizzy, and something tells him he's been out more than his hour.
"I been calling for two days." Nick's clipped, short -- angry to anyone who doesn't know him like Cody knows him.
"I didn't mean to scare you." Guilt blooms in Cody's chest -- guilt for Nick's fear, guilt for letting himself hide. Guilt for the lost day. "I'm fine, really. I've been, uh, busy."
"And I'm still coming home. I'll be with you by ten tomorrow morning."
It's a reprieve, water in the desert, an eleventh hour pardon. Cody can make it one night, they both know that. Cody takes a shaky breath. "Thanks."
When Nick touches down, Cody's already there. He's been at the helipad most of the night, but Nick doesn't need to know that. Although one look at Nick's face, and Cody has the idea Nick knows anyhow.
"How'd you get away early?" Cody asks, light, casual, making conversation.
Nick's eyes are anything but light, anything but casual. Conversation's the last thing on his mind. "Take me home, Cody. Figure we've both of us had a rough ten days, huh?"
"Sure." Cody can afford to be boisterous, now. Teasing. "Julie, I think her name was. Man, she sure kept me on my toes."
"Yeah?" Nick's arm slides into place around Cody's shoulders, and Cody can breathe again, see again. "You gonna introduce me? She got any good looking friends?"
Cody leans into Nick and heads for the Woody. "You don't mind, I think I need a week off girls."
Nick chuckles as they slide into the Woody, as the ancient engine coughs its way to life. "Just you'n me, some beers and some fishing, hey? Whaddaya say?"
"You're reading my mail." Cody guns the old car, in a hurry at last. Last thing he wants is to miss the tide.
Nick's hand finds his thigh, squeezes. "We got time, man. Take it easy."
Cody reflects on the sun and the fish, and how neither waits for man. "Not if we wanna get out of the harbor today, we don't."
"All I want today is a cold beer, a long nap, and a pizza." Nick smacks his lips, hand still on Cody's leg. "That suit you, big guy? Tomorrow, we'll go on out an' show those fish who's boss, you know?"
Cody eases back on the accelerator. A day with Nick in the quiet sanctuary of the Riptide is nothing short of Paradise. "Guess they'll wait a day," he agrees, and drops his own hand over Nick's. "Thanks, buddy. For everything. For coming back."
"Thanks for being here," Nick says, and there's a catch in his voice. But when Cody looks at him, his smile is easy, open, and there's no trace of trouble on his face. "C'mon, babe. Dunno about you, but I need that nap bad."
"Me, too," Cody admits, easing the Woody into its parking space. "Man, that Jinny…"
"Thought you said Julie." Nick's grin robs the words of sting, and Cody just laughs and climbs out of the car.
"We didn't talk much."
"Figures." Nick's arm's back where it belongs, and Cody's lightheaded, delirious with joy, high on having his partner back. If Nick's arm wasn't around him, he'd fall down in a heap.
"Beer first? Or nap?"
"Nap." Nick makes a big deal out of yawning, but it's the way he pulls Cody against his chest that's the real deal.
Cody's scared he'll break, scared the well of lies isn't deep enough for this, scared the thing he's been fighting all week, alone, might somehow snatch him now. Then Nick's holding him, really holding him, steering him on board, below, away from the sun, the light, the girls, the world.
Nick's the light in his darkness, his way home. His world. All he needs.
"Don't let me go, Nick. I just need a minute…"
"Take it easy, big guy. We got all the time in the world."
