"Stepping Stones" (Stepping Stones, 1987)
May. 5th, 2009 08:37 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
riptide_asylumTitle: Stepping Stones
Rating: R
Summary: After the Dolphin Club and what came after, Cody tries to comes to terms with the change in his relationship with Nick...
I didn't sleep well.
It was hardly surprising, not after what had happened at the Dolphin Club last night. After all, it wasn't every night I had to watch my best friend kiss another man.
That was the catalyst. Nick and I had been best friends - more than friends, really - for fifteen years, but in all that time, I'd never really thought about what he meant to me.
Not until last night. Seeing Nick, dressed as a rent boy, locked in the arms of another man, awoke something in me that I barely understood. Something that wouldn't let me rest until it was my arms around Nick, my mouth claiming Nick's sweet full lips.
And now it's morning, and Nick's beside me in the narrow bunk, his dark head resting on my arm. I take a deep breath and move a little closer.
Nick's still sleeping, his naked skin hot against mine, the rough scratch of his body hair tantalizing and unfamiliar. I stroke his back tentatively, savoring the feel of his skin, and my stomach clenches with nervous excitement. What we did last night, Nick's touch, Nick's body against mine... Nothing ever felt so right before.
"Morning." Nick's voice is gravelly with sleep, and I snatch my hand away guiltily.
Nick's looking at me, his blue eyes deep and longing and more than a little worried, and a chill runs up my spine. "Nick?" I can hear my voice trembling.
Nick keeps looking at me for a moment that feels like it will never end and then a small smile lifts one corner of his mouth. I suddenly realize I've been holding my breath and let it go with a whoosh. "So, do I kiss you good morning?"
Nick grins. "Depends, I guess. Do you wanna? Or are you just gonna ask for my number and tell me you'll call?"
"Jerk!" The remainder of the tension in my chest unwinds as I laugh, and I grab for him, pressing him back against the bed, desperate to have hold of him. It starts as a wrestling match but within seconds he's kissing me again, as hard as he had in the club last night, and I'm bucking against him, helpless in the grip of feelings I don't have words for, feelings that scorch and burn and overwhelm me with their enormity.
Afterwards, we hold each other close. I'm almost afraid to move or even think, in case anything disturbs this perfect, joyful peace. Here in Nick's arms, warm and safe and sated, I can't imagine ever needing anything else.
*
Down there in our room, the door safely locked against all comers, it's easy. I belong to Nick and he is mine - every touch, every word, every breath between us only serves to confirm it.
It only gets complicated when we go upstairs.
Up there, nothing's changed. The Contessa's rocking in the next slip, pretty girls arranged decoratively on deck. Our friends and neighbors are out there on the pier, going about their daily grind, same as they did yesterday and every day before.
Murray's popping up and down the stairs, moving between the Roboz in the salon and a terminal in his room, testing something with a four-syllable name and a high-pitched whine, eyes feverishly bright and fingers flying over the keyboard he's got hooked up to the Roboz. I can hear Dooley's tuneless humming from somewhere nearby, as he works harder on his tan than on polishing the Riptide's brightwork.
And I'm sitting at the table, watching Nick pour the coffee, the same way he does every morning.
He comes back, carrying the whale mugs he bought me when I first got the Riptide. He got them at the dime-store as a joke, but we've used them ever since.
I treasure the damned things.
"Here, pal." Nick slides in beside me, passing my coffee, and I can see in his eyes that he's as nervous as I am.
I've known the guy as well as I know myself - sometimes better - for nearly half my life. Together we've faced the kinds of hell that the devil himself won't visit. And today, for the first time ever, I'm not sure how to be with him.
I want to touch him, reach out and reassure myself he's still there. But even looking at him stokes the fire I can feel inside me, the fire he started last night. I'm scared of what might happen if I touch him. I'm scared of what will show up on my face.
The Roboz whirs and clicks and green numbers chase themselves across his screen. I watch them scroll faster, deliberately not looking at Nick, and gulp the strong coffee. My heart's racing as fast as the Roboz can think, feels like, and then Nick's leg's against mine, pressed close.
The touch is so familiar, so right and my fear's gone in an instant, unfounded and forgotten. I breathe in, slow, and sneak a look at Nick. He's looking back at me and all at once I know how this works. I know him, and how we are.
Together.
*
We can't stay on board the Riptide forever, even though I'd like to. The pier's busy, and Nick and I walk close together. His shoulder bumps mine every step, and feeling his closeness steadies me. It lets me breathe.
There are pretty girls wearing a lot of bare flesh and a lot less clothing everywhere, and a curvy brunette gives me the eye. She's nice looking, got a nice smile, nice body... and when I realize I'm looking I feel sick.
"Nick..."
"Take it easy, Cody." Nick grabs my arm and pulls me out of the crowd. I shake my head, looking away from the strangers, and find my partner's deep blue eyes fixed on me. "You okay, man?"
"That girl..." I want to confess but I can't finish the sentence. "Nick, can we just go home?"
*
Nick's nowhere below, and in the end, I find him on deck. He's leaning on the railing, talking to Bambi, his best flirty smile in place, and my stomach clenches.
"Hi, Cody." Bambi's cheerful, her dark hair gleaming in the sun, and she gives a little wave as she sashays off along the pier.
"Nick?" I'm doing my best to act casual but he knows me too well for that.
He squeezes my shoulder with a smile, and it's nothing like the flirty grin he was giving Bambi. Everything's written there, everything we've shared since the day we met, and the depth of love in Nick's eyes humbles me.
*
Cantrell lobs a hard ball, right at my head, and it's only a fast twist that lets me make the shot. I hear Nick cheer me and then it's coming back, and this time he's diving for it. I think he'll miss it and jump in behind him, and then we're on the ground like dominoes, rolling together in the hot sand, laughing.
"Keep it on the boat," Eddie quips, the same joke he's made a thousand times, but this time it's real and I don't know where to look or how to laugh, not now. I don't even know if I can breathe.
Nick's hands tighten on my shoulders, reassuring, telling me he's got my back - he's always got my back - and he scrambles to his feet. "Man," he tells Eddie, pulling me to my feet, "you're just jealous that mine's better looking than yours."
Cantrell flips Nick the bird and we're back in the game, hard white ball in the air, our bodies in motion.
Every shot, Nick's got my back.
*
It's been a tough case but we've finally wrapped it up. The crooks are in custody, Murray's thumb's bandaged, my ribs feel like an elephant's been tapdancing on them and Nick's walking with a limp. It's the kind of day when you figure there's got to be an easier way to earn a living.
But it's behind us now and we're sitting around the salon, and hot pizza and cold beer's going a long way to restore our spirits.
Murray switches on the tv and flicks through the channels until he finds one of those monster movies he likes so much. The lights are off, and when Nick moves close to me on the sofa, I lean back into his arms and know what home means.
*
At night, alone in our room, his hands on my body, his lips on my skin, it's more than I ever dreamed I'd find. He's everything, everywhere, on me, inside me, around me and all I can do is hold on. I call his name and he holds me tighter, and I know that this is the one place I belong.
When we're still at last, breathing soft and sweet together, he whispers things to me. Words like love and forever and safe, and most of all, that I'm his. Words I didn't know I needed to hear until I heard them on his lips and knew they made my life complete.
Down here, I've got it figured out, this world that's only ours.
I'm still figuring out how it works upstairs, where people look and judge and I'm still scared of that. But even on the pier, every day it feels more right.
Nick and I belong together, we belong to each other. We're partners, and at last we've figured out just what that means.
Rating: R
Summary: After the Dolphin Club and what came after, Cody tries to comes to terms with the change in his relationship with Nick...
I didn't sleep well.
It was hardly surprising, not after what had happened at the Dolphin Club last night. After all, it wasn't every night I had to watch my best friend kiss another man.
That was the catalyst. Nick and I had been best friends - more than friends, really - for fifteen years, but in all that time, I'd never really thought about what he meant to me.
Not until last night. Seeing Nick, dressed as a rent boy, locked in the arms of another man, awoke something in me that I barely understood. Something that wouldn't let me rest until it was my arms around Nick, my mouth claiming Nick's sweet full lips.
And now it's morning, and Nick's beside me in the narrow bunk, his dark head resting on my arm. I take a deep breath and move a little closer.
Nick's still sleeping, his naked skin hot against mine, the rough scratch of his body hair tantalizing and unfamiliar. I stroke his back tentatively, savoring the feel of his skin, and my stomach clenches with nervous excitement. What we did last night, Nick's touch, Nick's body against mine... Nothing ever felt so right before.
"Morning." Nick's voice is gravelly with sleep, and I snatch my hand away guiltily.
Nick's looking at me, his blue eyes deep and longing and more than a little worried, and a chill runs up my spine. "Nick?" I can hear my voice trembling.
Nick keeps looking at me for a moment that feels like it will never end and then a small smile lifts one corner of his mouth. I suddenly realize I've been holding my breath and let it go with a whoosh. "So, do I kiss you good morning?"
Nick grins. "Depends, I guess. Do you wanna? Or are you just gonna ask for my number and tell me you'll call?"
"Jerk!" The remainder of the tension in my chest unwinds as I laugh, and I grab for him, pressing him back against the bed, desperate to have hold of him. It starts as a wrestling match but within seconds he's kissing me again, as hard as he had in the club last night, and I'm bucking against him, helpless in the grip of feelings I don't have words for, feelings that scorch and burn and overwhelm me with their enormity.
Afterwards, we hold each other close. I'm almost afraid to move or even think, in case anything disturbs this perfect, joyful peace. Here in Nick's arms, warm and safe and sated, I can't imagine ever needing anything else.
*
Down there in our room, the door safely locked against all comers, it's easy. I belong to Nick and he is mine - every touch, every word, every breath between us only serves to confirm it.
It only gets complicated when we go upstairs.
Up there, nothing's changed. The Contessa's rocking in the next slip, pretty girls arranged decoratively on deck. Our friends and neighbors are out there on the pier, going about their daily grind, same as they did yesterday and every day before.
Murray's popping up and down the stairs, moving between the Roboz in the salon and a terminal in his room, testing something with a four-syllable name and a high-pitched whine, eyes feverishly bright and fingers flying over the keyboard he's got hooked up to the Roboz. I can hear Dooley's tuneless humming from somewhere nearby, as he works harder on his tan than on polishing the Riptide's brightwork.
And I'm sitting at the table, watching Nick pour the coffee, the same way he does every morning.
He comes back, carrying the whale mugs he bought me when I first got the Riptide. He got them at the dime-store as a joke, but we've used them ever since.
I treasure the damned things.
"Here, pal." Nick slides in beside me, passing my coffee, and I can see in his eyes that he's as nervous as I am.
I've known the guy as well as I know myself - sometimes better - for nearly half my life. Together we've faced the kinds of hell that the devil himself won't visit. And today, for the first time ever, I'm not sure how to be with him.
I want to touch him, reach out and reassure myself he's still there. But even looking at him stokes the fire I can feel inside me, the fire he started last night. I'm scared of what might happen if I touch him. I'm scared of what will show up on my face.
The Roboz whirs and clicks and green numbers chase themselves across his screen. I watch them scroll faster, deliberately not looking at Nick, and gulp the strong coffee. My heart's racing as fast as the Roboz can think, feels like, and then Nick's leg's against mine, pressed close.
The touch is so familiar, so right and my fear's gone in an instant, unfounded and forgotten. I breathe in, slow, and sneak a look at Nick. He's looking back at me and all at once I know how this works. I know him, and how we are.
Together.
*
We can't stay on board the Riptide forever, even though I'd like to. The pier's busy, and Nick and I walk close together. His shoulder bumps mine every step, and feeling his closeness steadies me. It lets me breathe.
There are pretty girls wearing a lot of bare flesh and a lot less clothing everywhere, and a curvy brunette gives me the eye. She's nice looking, got a nice smile, nice body... and when I realize I'm looking I feel sick.
"Nick..."
"Take it easy, Cody." Nick grabs my arm and pulls me out of the crowd. I shake my head, looking away from the strangers, and find my partner's deep blue eyes fixed on me. "You okay, man?"
"That girl..." I want to confess but I can't finish the sentence. "Nick, can we just go home?"
*
Nick's nowhere below, and in the end, I find him on deck. He's leaning on the railing, talking to Bambi, his best flirty smile in place, and my stomach clenches.
"Hi, Cody." Bambi's cheerful, her dark hair gleaming in the sun, and she gives a little wave as she sashays off along the pier.
"Nick?" I'm doing my best to act casual but he knows me too well for that.
He squeezes my shoulder with a smile, and it's nothing like the flirty grin he was giving Bambi. Everything's written there, everything we've shared since the day we met, and the depth of love in Nick's eyes humbles me.
*
Cantrell lobs a hard ball, right at my head, and it's only a fast twist that lets me make the shot. I hear Nick cheer me and then it's coming back, and this time he's diving for it. I think he'll miss it and jump in behind him, and then we're on the ground like dominoes, rolling together in the hot sand, laughing.
"Keep it on the boat," Eddie quips, the same joke he's made a thousand times, but this time it's real and I don't know where to look or how to laugh, not now. I don't even know if I can breathe.
Nick's hands tighten on my shoulders, reassuring, telling me he's got my back - he's always got my back - and he scrambles to his feet. "Man," he tells Eddie, pulling me to my feet, "you're just jealous that mine's better looking than yours."
Cantrell flips Nick the bird and we're back in the game, hard white ball in the air, our bodies in motion.
Every shot, Nick's got my back.
*
It's been a tough case but we've finally wrapped it up. The crooks are in custody, Murray's thumb's bandaged, my ribs feel like an elephant's been tapdancing on them and Nick's walking with a limp. It's the kind of day when you figure there's got to be an easier way to earn a living.
But it's behind us now and we're sitting around the salon, and hot pizza and cold beer's going a long way to restore our spirits.
Murray switches on the tv and flicks through the channels until he finds one of those monster movies he likes so much. The lights are off, and when Nick moves close to me on the sofa, I lean back into his arms and know what home means.
*
At night, alone in our room, his hands on my body, his lips on my skin, it's more than I ever dreamed I'd find. He's everything, everywhere, on me, inside me, around me and all I can do is hold on. I call his name and he holds me tighter, and I know that this is the one place I belong.
When we're still at last, breathing soft and sweet together, he whispers things to me. Words like love and forever and safe, and most of all, that I'm his. Words I didn't know I needed to hear until I heard them on his lips and knew they made my life complete.
Down here, I've got it figured out, this world that's only ours.
I'm still figuring out how it works upstairs, where people look and judge and I'm still scared of that. But even on the pier, every day it feels more right.
Nick and I belong together, we belong to each other. We're partners, and at last we've figured out just what that means.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-11-17 11:22 am (UTC)Oh so true! So true! And so funny! I don´t really know the term "Keep it on the boat." but I think I kinda figured it out....
Rain
no subject
Date: 2009-11-17 09:41 pm (UTC)*hugs*
no subject
Date: 2009-11-23 11:04 am (UTC)I thought that term was more common, but that makes sense now.....loads of sense!! Fun!! Too much fun, can´t get enough...
THANK YOU!
Rain
no subject
Date: 2009-11-23 11:14 am (UTC)*hugs* Tinx :)