"Wake Now" (Other, 1984)
Feb. 19th, 2009 02:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
riptide_asylumTitle: Wake Now
Rating: PG
Summary: Cody's home, safe and sound from another adventure. But at what coast to Nick?
Nick lay awake in the darkened stateroom. Wide awake. The Riptide rocked gently at its moorings and all around it, the pier breathed quietly in the night. Sounds Nick wasn't used to: water lapping at the hull, the squeak of water-swollen wood on fiberglass and from time to time, the footsteps and soft voices of their King Harbor neighbors returning from a night out, maybe getting an early start on the morning.
But it wasn't noise keeping Nick awake.
He sighed, half-groan, and punched his pillow, shifting to get comfortable.
Well, half-comfortable. A little comf--something, Jesus.
And when that didn't work, he gave in and went back to staring at Cody.
It had been something about this last case, something that had just clicked when Delgado forced Cody to his knees, the gun at his head--something had broken in Nick, a dam breached and shattered and in the rush of angry, seething water, all Nick could think was: Mine.
The force of it was half-anger and half something he'd been unable to name until now, unwilling to confront it, incapable of looking that deeply inside himself, at what lay between them both, until some two-bit lowlife put a gun to Cody's head and clicked off the fucking safety. Nick had stared not at the gun, but at Cody's wide, scared blue eyes and he'd known: I love you, Cody. More than the winds and the sky and anything you can name. I love you better than all those things, you got it?
Nick watched Cody now, safe and warm, tucked up in his own bunk, an arm across his stomach, face turned to Nick even in sleep, and there was a part of him that wanted to run out of there, wanted to run up the slip, jump in the Vette and race down to the King Harbor PD and grab Delgado and slam him against the bars of the holding cell again and again and again.
Do you know what you almost did, man?
Do you know what you nearly destroyed?
Do you know what it would've done to me? I haven't even told him yet--
Nick's chest tightened, adrenaline bowing him in his bunk, a frustrated thrashing he fought to control, fought to keep quiet. I haven't even told him...
Nick rolled back over on his back and looked at the thick black dive watch on his wrist. 3:17 a.m.
He stared up at the ceiling and tried to think about things that weren't Cody.
Like that knock the Woody had on account of those new spark plugs Cody had insisted on, the ones that promised longer life and better mileage and for all Nick knew, babes in bikinis every 5,000 miles. The ones Cody'd insisted on trying even though--
Nick growled and closed his eyes. Try again, he told himself stubbornly.
Okay.
Maybe like the Sikorsky S-75, the ACAP he was supposed to take up at Reserves next week. All composite airframe, an ultralight bird, not like the Mimi. Not like the Chinooks he and Cody had flown in Nam. Man, those things flew like bricks, like the trick was--
Nick bit his lip and looked over at the other bunk.
Like the trick was making sure they didn't know they were up before you got 'em down safely. Too many times, baby, he thought. You n' me.
Nick gave in and curled up on his side, finding some measure of relief in giving in and just wallowing in the waters Delgado had released. You 'n me, he thought. That's how it's been forever -- that's just the way it is for me. All I want, baby.
Nick let his gaze linger on Cody's face, on the too-long hair falling across his forehead, his worried, sleeping frown, the slightly parted lips, that crazy stubborn chin of his.
All I want.
Nick folded his arms across his chest and watched Cody sleep, hoping maybe that would do the trick, like it had so many other nights.
Cody whined in his sleep, turning his head toward Nick. He kicked at the thin blanket and when his feet caught he thrashed harder, determined to get away. He rolled perilously close to the edge of the bunk and panting, pushed against the mattress. He whined again, shuddering and high, still kicking with everything he had. One foot connected with the wall, hard, but Cody kept on fighting.
Nick was out of his bunk in an instant.
He nearly fell across the narrow aisle in his haste to reach Cody's side, and dropped down next to him, face close to his face, hands on his shoulders, bracing him. He didn't whisper, because they could hear you, Pitbull said, they could hear you piss yourself and they could hear you call your mama's name and that's what got men killed. Instead, Nick slipped on top of Cody, holding him down in his bunk, bracing him, covering him, his head pushed against the side of Cody's neck to stop the thrashing, to bring him back.
Nick's fingers sketched All-Clear in time with his mind, scratching them, nearly, into Cody's skin, making Cody understand that wherever he'd gone, Nick would follow, and wherever they were, Nick would make it safe.
Cody's struggles weakened immediately and he burrowed into Nick, nuzzling his temple, breathing against his skin. Breathing deep, but softer now, telling Nick he was nearly awake, nearly there.
Nick held on. He'd hold on til Cody woke up for good, hold on a lot longer than that if it came down to it.
All-Clear, his fingers said softly. All-Clear, baby. It's safe to come home.
Cody's struggles ceased and he lay boneless and spent under Nick, being covered, being held. He wasn't up to holding Nick back yet and Nick didn't blame him. For a minute there, listening to Cody being scared, Nick had forgotten what year it was, where the fuck they were, whether to be afraid.
He flashed back on Delgado and the gun and Cody's wide, scared blue eyes.
He held Cody tighter, entwining their legs, firming up his grip. I haven't even told you, he thought. How you're everything to me. How I can't live without you, not then, not now not ever, and it scares me how much I need you.
Cody threw his head back, gasping for air.
Nick loosened his grip a little. All right, all right, might've gotten a little carried away there.
Cody blinked at Nick in the darkness. His forehead was sheened with sweat and he was burning up against Nick's skin. But he nodded, once, twice, a third time, and he tightened his arms around Nick and settled deeper in his bunk, an arm around Nick's waist and the other up across his back, fingers tangled in Nick's hair.
Okay, Nick thought, maybe not.
The two of them lay together in Cody's bunk, Nick on top and Cody underneath, and Nick stared at the most beautiful man he'd ever known, his other half, the guy he lived for with every breath. He stared and he stared and he tried to put the pieces of the shattered dam back together, trying not to ruin anything right now.
Cody's fingers stroked the back of Nick's neck, just above the place the muscles went all haywire, the place Nick only let Cody ever work on. He stared at Nick, calmer now, and Nick stared back and tried not to say a fucking word.
Rating: PG
Summary: Cody's home, safe and sound from another adventure. But at what coast to Nick?
Nick lay awake in the darkened stateroom. Wide awake. The Riptide rocked gently at its moorings and all around it, the pier breathed quietly in the night. Sounds Nick wasn't used to: water lapping at the hull, the squeak of water-swollen wood on fiberglass and from time to time, the footsteps and soft voices of their King Harbor neighbors returning from a night out, maybe getting an early start on the morning.
But it wasn't noise keeping Nick awake.
He sighed, half-groan, and punched his pillow, shifting to get comfortable.
Well, half-comfortable. A little comf--something, Jesus.
And when that didn't work, he gave in and went back to staring at Cody.
It had been something about this last case, something that had just clicked when Delgado forced Cody to his knees, the gun at his head--something had broken in Nick, a dam breached and shattered and in the rush of angry, seething water, all Nick could think was: Mine.
The force of it was half-anger and half something he'd been unable to name until now, unwilling to confront it, incapable of looking that deeply inside himself, at what lay between them both, until some two-bit lowlife put a gun to Cody's head and clicked off the fucking safety. Nick had stared not at the gun, but at Cody's wide, scared blue eyes and he'd known: I love you, Cody. More than the winds and the sky and anything you can name. I love you better than all those things, you got it?
Nick watched Cody now, safe and warm, tucked up in his own bunk, an arm across his stomach, face turned to Nick even in sleep, and there was a part of him that wanted to run out of there, wanted to run up the slip, jump in the Vette and race down to the King Harbor PD and grab Delgado and slam him against the bars of the holding cell again and again and again.
Do you know what you almost did, man?
Do you know what you nearly destroyed?
Do you know what it would've done to me? I haven't even told him yet--
Nick's chest tightened, adrenaline bowing him in his bunk, a frustrated thrashing he fought to control, fought to keep quiet. I haven't even told him...
Nick rolled back over on his back and looked at the thick black dive watch on his wrist. 3:17 a.m.
He stared up at the ceiling and tried to think about things that weren't Cody.
Like that knock the Woody had on account of those new spark plugs Cody had insisted on, the ones that promised longer life and better mileage and for all Nick knew, babes in bikinis every 5,000 miles. The ones Cody'd insisted on trying even though--
Nick growled and closed his eyes. Try again, he told himself stubbornly.
Okay.
Maybe like the Sikorsky S-75, the ACAP he was supposed to take up at Reserves next week. All composite airframe, an ultralight bird, not like the Mimi. Not like the Chinooks he and Cody had flown in Nam. Man, those things flew like bricks, like the trick was--
Nick bit his lip and looked over at the other bunk.
Like the trick was making sure they didn't know they were up before you got 'em down safely. Too many times, baby, he thought. You n' me.
Nick gave in and curled up on his side, finding some measure of relief in giving in and just wallowing in the waters Delgado had released. You 'n me, he thought. That's how it's been forever -- that's just the way it is for me. All I want, baby.
Nick let his gaze linger on Cody's face, on the too-long hair falling across his forehead, his worried, sleeping frown, the slightly parted lips, that crazy stubborn chin of his.
All I want.
Nick folded his arms across his chest and watched Cody sleep, hoping maybe that would do the trick, like it had so many other nights.
Cody whined in his sleep, turning his head toward Nick. He kicked at the thin blanket and when his feet caught he thrashed harder, determined to get away. He rolled perilously close to the edge of the bunk and panting, pushed against the mattress. He whined again, shuddering and high, still kicking with everything he had. One foot connected with the wall, hard, but Cody kept on fighting.
Nick was out of his bunk in an instant.
He nearly fell across the narrow aisle in his haste to reach Cody's side, and dropped down next to him, face close to his face, hands on his shoulders, bracing him. He didn't whisper, because they could hear you, Pitbull said, they could hear you piss yourself and they could hear you call your mama's name and that's what got men killed. Instead, Nick slipped on top of Cody, holding him down in his bunk, bracing him, covering him, his head pushed against the side of Cody's neck to stop the thrashing, to bring him back.
Nick's fingers sketched All-Clear in time with his mind, scratching them, nearly, into Cody's skin, making Cody understand that wherever he'd gone, Nick would follow, and wherever they were, Nick would make it safe.
Cody's struggles weakened immediately and he burrowed into Nick, nuzzling his temple, breathing against his skin. Breathing deep, but softer now, telling Nick he was nearly awake, nearly there.
Nick held on. He'd hold on til Cody woke up for good, hold on a lot longer than that if it came down to it.
All-Clear, his fingers said softly. All-Clear, baby. It's safe to come home.
Cody's struggles ceased and he lay boneless and spent under Nick, being covered, being held. He wasn't up to holding Nick back yet and Nick didn't blame him. For a minute there, listening to Cody being scared, Nick had forgotten what year it was, where the fuck they were, whether to be afraid.
He flashed back on Delgado and the gun and Cody's wide, scared blue eyes.
He held Cody tighter, entwining their legs, firming up his grip. I haven't even told you, he thought. How you're everything to me. How I can't live without you, not then, not now not ever, and it scares me how much I need you.
Cody threw his head back, gasping for air.
Nick loosened his grip a little. All right, all right, might've gotten a little carried away there.
Cody blinked at Nick in the darkness. His forehead was sheened with sweat and he was burning up against Nick's skin. But he nodded, once, twice, a third time, and he tightened his arms around Nick and settled deeper in his bunk, an arm around Nick's waist and the other up across his back, fingers tangled in Nick's hair.
Okay, Nick thought, maybe not.
The two of them lay together in Cody's bunk, Nick on top and Cody underneath, and Nick stared at the most beautiful man he'd ever known, his other half, the guy he lived for with every breath. He stared and he stared and he tried to put the pieces of the shattered dam back together, trying not to ruin anything right now.
Cody's fingers stroked the back of Nick's neck, just above the place the muscles went all haywire, the place Nick only let Cody ever work on. He stared at Nick, calmer now, and Nick stared back and tried not to say a fucking word.
