"Flashpoint - Part Three" (Other, 1987)
Mar. 3rd, 2015 10:35 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
riptide_asylumTitle: Flashpoint
Rating: NC17
Summary: Cody thinks Joanna might be the one for him. Nick tries to help. Murray's smarter than both of them.
Part One
Part Two
Chapter Nine
Someone had laid him down and dimmed the lights. Grudgingly, Cody found himself back in the present, a heavy weight around his heart and cotton wool stuffing his head. He got his eyes open and realized he was lying on the couch in the salon, and the light was early dawn peeking through the blinds. The salon lights were off.
Cody lay still, trying to sort through the confusion. He knew he must have had a panic attack, a bad one. He thought Nick had been with him, but the thought failed to provide the security it should have.
"You awake?" Nick's voice, very low, accompanied by a light brush of fingers across the back of Cody's neck. The weight around Cody's heart lessened.
"Mmm." Cody tried moving his legs, then progressed to rolling over.
"Easy." Nick got up from the chair beside him. "How you doing?"
"Better for a shower, I think." Cody sat up slowly, comforted when Nick supported him. "Thanks."
Nick nodded and stroked Cody's hair. "I'm sorry," he said urgently. "So sorry."
Cody winced at the sudden memory of broken glass in his veins. "Just don't leave me," he said hoarsely, and stood up. "Not right now."
"Never," Nick said passionately. "Okay? We'll talk -- we gotta talk, but just know I won't leave you. Not now, not ever again."
Nick shaved while Cody showered, showered while Cody shaved, keeping them close. It was nearly too much, but at the same time, Cody needed the closeness. He felt better physically for the shower -- more alert, more comfortable -- but mentally, emotionally, he knew he was still a wreck.
Back in the stateroom, he pulled on a fresh pair of sweats and lay down on his bunk. He listened to Nick moving around in the head, and let the memories of the night before weave their way into his consciousness. Some things were a little hazy, but he knew what had sent him over the edge -- there was only one idea that still had so much power after so many years. The idea of losing Nick.
Nick walked back in the room naked, glanced at Cody, then took a clean pair of sweats for himself. Cody waited until he'd finished dressing, then said, "Hey."
Nick sat down on his own bunk. "You okay?"
"If I marry Joanna, you're gonna marry Susie. Is that what you told me last night?"
Nick's mouth quirked in something that might have been a smile. "Yeah, I guess. I was thinking about it, anyhow. Why? You wanna have a double wedding?"
Cody flinched, and Nick was beside him instantly, perching on his bunk, reaching out. "I'm sorry. Babe, I'm sorry. I know I hurt you, an' now I'm doing it again…"
Cody resisted the offered comfort for a moment, then let Nick pull him close. He buried his head against Nick's neck and held on.
"I wasn't listening, last night," Nick said, against his cheek. "You kept telling me how much I hurt you when I went away. How scared you were I was gonna do it again. That you were scared I'd leave you forever. And I just kept on saying you were gonna find a girl, find the life you wanted." Nick took a deep breath. "I don't want you to find a girl so I can leave, Cody. I don't want that. Okay?"
Cody's breath hitched in his chest. There it was, the unbearable knowledge that had hit him in the night, sent him spiraling out of control. Nick would leave him, sacrifice him, for the nameless girl with Renee's face, and maybe Nick already had.
"Easy. Easy." Nick held him tighter, rocking him a little. "Look at me. Hey."
Cody turned his head and looked up into Nick's face. "I'm okay," he managed, calling on every shred of composure he had.
"I won't leave you. I promise. Never again, okay? I'm sorry I went away the way I did. I didn't figure on it being so hard on you, and I'm never gonna put either of us through that again."
Finding strength from somewhere inside, somewhere dark, Cody pulled himself out of Nick's arms and scooted back against the wall. From the same place, he found a thing he called a smile and pasted it on his lips. "I was a mess last night," he said, cool and collected. Calm. Emotionless. He could get through. "I'm sorry about that. But I don't need a babysitter, okay? You can -- " Cody's careful facade crumbled a moment, and he covered it with a cough, then forced himself on. "Go. Find this soulmate of yours and make her listen, all right? That's once in a lifetime stuff."
"Cody -- "
Unable to hold himself together any longer, Cody started to push past Nick. He had no idea where he was going, he just had to get away. But Nick had hold of him, pinning his arms when he struggled, and then, when he wouldn't give up, rolling him onto the mattress and straddling him, holding him down.
Cody rested his face against the pillow and let his tears fall. Nick's weight, pinning him down, Nick's hands on his shoulders, so tough, so gentle -- he was so safe with Nick.
Nick's hands turned soft as Cody stopped fighting, gentling him instead of holding him down. "How many times do I have to tell you," Nick said breathlessly, "there's no girl."
Raising up, Nick tugged Cody's shoulder and turned him over. He wiped the tears from Cody's cheeks with his thumbs. "There's no girl," he repeated. "Understand? There's no-one else I want to be with. There's no-one more important to me than you."
Cody blinked. "But you said -- "
"I said I couldn't have what I wanted, and there could never be anyone else. That's what I said."
"Is she dead?" Cody frowned. "I don't understand."
Nick smiled at that. "I'm telling you you're the most important person in my life, and you don't understand. Cody, baby." Nick leaned closer, his left hand sliding through Cody's hair. His right hand came up to Cody's cheek, thumb brushing lightly over Cody's lips and the edge of his mustache.
"Nick?" Cody touched his lips with his tongue, accidentally connecting with Nick's thumb.
Nick shivered, then closed the remaining distance between them. One moment Cody was still struggling to understand; the next, his lips were being claimed by his partner, with no vestige of gentleness or restraint.
It was terrifying; it was exhilarating; it was uplifting. Unexpected and shocking, but not unwelcome -- Cody's brain had questions, but his body was in the game ahead of him, answering Nick's hunger with eager acceptance. And when Nick finally pulled back, Cody followed blindly, desperate to remain close.
"No girl," Nick whispered breathlessly, collapsing against the wall and pulling Cody into a sitting position beside him. "Just you. Do you get it now? It was only ever you."
Cody curled himself into Nick's chest, hesitantly sliding a leg between Nick's. "I'm guessing this is one of the things you didn't tell me about your life."
Nick smiled, sliding one hand up Cody's ribs, light, caressing. "You're looking at the reason I don't tell you everything about my life," he said frankly. "So now you know. No more secrets."
"No more secrets like the one where I come home and find you've left, right?"
Nick looked into the shadowed fear in Cody's eyes and pulled him close. "Never," he said quietly. "I thought -- hell, you know what it's like when you have a girl and I'm around. You bitch me out about being jealous, we fight, the girl hates me. And you know what, it's true, I am jealous, only not the way you meant. I'm jealous as hell she gets your time, your attention, she gets to have her hands all over you. She should hate me. I'm her worst enemy. I just figured if Joanna was the one, you deserved a fair shot, without me screwing it up for you again."
Cody leaned into Nick's arms and closed his eyes. Fighting with Nick over girls was half the thrill -- maybe even all the thrill. And no night with any girl, no matter how pretty, how skilled, had ever equalled the pleasure he took in sharing an afternoon's fishing with Nick, or working on the Mimi with Nick, or arguing with Nick over dinner.
Nick's naked skin was hot against his own, almost too warm in the close confines of the stateroom. In the closeness of the single bunk, and the small space they'd chosen to share. Cody moved slightly, aware of Nick's heartbeat, Nick's breathing. Aware of his own nerve endings singing, hungry for touch, awakened by the kiss.
"Giving yourself too much credit," Cody mumbled, moving again, allowing himself to feel the thrill of Nick's body hair against his chest. He was half hard already, had been since Nick's lips had touched his, arousal tantalizing and increasingly insistent in his belly. "I c'n screw up with girls without any help from you."
"Well sure, I know you can." Nick wriggled himself, dragging the pillow against the bulkhead and leaning back against it. "First off you don't ask them out, and when you do, they turn out to be axe murderers."
Cody grinned and eased down beside Nick. He was rewarded with Nick's arm around his shoulders and another light caress, this one tracing his collar bone. "Not axe murderers. Just assault, huh?"
"That we know about," Nick said darkly. "But remember Prissy? The typist? That was me."
Cody thought long and hard, and couldn't come up with any girl fitting the description. "Drawing a blank, buddy."
"I took her for a ride in the Mimi, remember? She got airsick, turned out."
"Oh." Cody started to laugh, remembering a certain blonde and her tirade against Nick's piloting skills. "Petra, the legal aide? Wait, are you gonna tell me you really looped the loop in the Mimi?"
"It was more of a roll." Nick's thumb performed a more detailed exploration of Cody's collarbone and Cody tilted his head back, giving Nick room to work.
"A roll? What kind of harbor tour includes a roll in an antique Sikorsky that shoulda been junked a decade back?"
"The kind that makes girls remember they got a sick granny back East needs their tender care." Nick's hand slid down Cody's chest, the little finger brushing Cody's nipple. It might have been accidental, save that when Cody gasped, Nick did it again. "Anyway, leave my chopper out of this."
"Seems to me your chopper's been paying way too much attention to my love life."
"What can I say? Mimi's a helper."
"Jury's out on that one, buddy. So how many other girls have I lost because of you, huh?"
"Plenty. You want a list?"
Cody frowned slightly. When Petra had called and broken it off, he'd been relieved. He and Nick had watched a game, won some money, taken Murray out for dinner to celebrate. "The only breakup I lost any sleep over was Janet, and I only wish you'd helped me out there, big guy. The others… hell, I was ready for 'em to end."
"Not as ready as me." Nick sighed. "Listen, I'm sorry, huh? I just -- I never thought any of 'em were good enough for you, you know?"
"But Joanna was?"
"No, but you said she was the one. You told me before you thought you were falling for chicks, but you'd never said that. So I figured it was serious. And I thought since she was a cop, she'd maybe have more respect for our partnership than most girls."
"I think you were wrong on all counts." Cody sighed. "Especially on the respect thing."
"Just shows I should never listen to you, huh?" Nick teased. His roving hand had slid lower, traced its way over Cody's ribcage and come to rest on Cody's hip, fingers lightly skimming the curve of Cody's butt through his sweats. Cody couldn't think about anything else.
"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked suddenly.
"Tell you what?" Nick asked, wariness creeping into his voice. His fingers stilled, and his hand slid higher, up to safer territory.
"That it was me. After everything we've been through, why didn't you just say something?"
"Figured I'd lose you, man. You like girls. You wanted to get married, have a family. You went gaga over little Katie. 'Hey, buddy, give that up and stay here on the boat with me' just wasn't gonna fly, y'know?"
Cody closed his eyes and thought of the seven years they'd been on the boat together. The nine years before that they'd been friends and partners. "You call yourself a pilot," he said softly, opening his eyes again. "Compared to that pink dumpster, it woulda been a piece of cake."
Nick stared at him for a moment, then a slow grin spread across his face. "Well, when you put it like that…"
"You really thought I'd -- what? Throw you out if you told me?"
Nick shook his head, serious again. "No. Not that. But it would have been different, and I don't know, maybe you wouldn't have wanted to share a cabin anymore."
"Or maybe I'd have wanted to share more than a cabin. That never occurred to you?"
"Not until last night -- this morning. You always liked girls, babe."
"I could say the same thing about you," Cody said, moving closer. He reached out, resting a hand on Nick's ribs, and felt Nick's hand slide lower again, over his own ass.
"I like girls just fine. It's just that I like you more." Nick moved in, bringing their lips together. This kiss was deeper, gentler, and it went straight to Cody's cock.
Cody groaned, thrusting his hips forward involuntarily. Nick rolled him on his back then slid on top of him, legs between Cody's. Cody felt the heat of Nick's groin through his sweats and it stoked his own fire. He spread his legs wider, drawing up his knees as Nick claimed his mouth again, hungry and urgent.
Cody ran his hands down Nick's back then under the waistband of his sweats, finding Nick's ass. Nick moaned, thrusting faster as Cody gripped his buttcheeks, lowering his hips and increasing the friction.
As Nick kissed him again, ravaging his mouth, the feelings were too much. Cody felt himself on the edge and tightened his grip, dropping his head back and crying out his release.
"Cody… oh, God. Cody." Nick pulled free of Cody's hands and shoved his own sweats down. Cody struggled to keep his eyes open, to watch, as Nick gripped his thick cock and started to stroke. And then Nick came, spurts of white branding Cody's skin, marking him.
Cody stared, entranced, and caught Nick's hand when he moved to wipe it away. He squirmed, trying to get his sweats down, and Nick, understanding, rolled to the side and helped, pulling the offending garment off and tossing it to the floor. His own followed. "Better?"
"Touch me," Cody murmured. "Before we clean up. I want to know…"
Nick's hand slid up Cody's thigh and into the crease. Cody parted his legs further, moaning as Nick brushed the edge of his tangled, sticky pubic hair.
"Bet Joanna never made you come in your pants," Nick said, a note of triumph in his voice, and cupped Cody's balls.
Cody gasped and lifted his hips. "Don't believe she did. Kept telling you it wasn't a competition."
Nick leaned down, lapped a stripe of his own come off Cody's chest, then ran his lips over Cody's cock. "The way I see it, I won this prize fair and square."
Cody stared at him, caught in the ecstasy of Nick's mouth on his cock, and then Nick kissed him again, mouth alive with the flavor of them both together.
Cody reached for Nick and pulled him close, glorying in the feel of his partner's naked skin against his own, Nick's soft cock resting against his thigh. Cody let one hand drift down over the swell of Nick's ass, cupping beneath the cheek.
Nick rolled forward, pressing closer, sliding his leg over Cody's, opening himself. Cody's fingers encountered the sweat-damp hair behind Nick's balls, and he explored slowly, gently.
Nick wriggled. "Tickles," he muttered, and buried his head against Cody's neck.
"Yeah?" Cody cupped his ass more firmly. "Better?"
"Didn't say I was complaining. But that's good too." Nick shifted slightly, pressing into Cody's touch. "Whatever you want, okay? However you want this to work."
Cody closed his eyes, resting beneath his partner's weight. This was safety, this was truth, and his arms were full of exactly what he wanted. Even if it had come so suddenly, in a form he had never envisioned.
"What I want is my partner beside me, always," he said in a low voice. "On a case, on the beach, at the ballgame. In our bed. That's what I always wanted. I guess I just never thought out what that meant."
"Cody…" Nick caught his breath. "It means I'll never leave you, you know? It means I got your back, whatever's going down. Whatever's between us, whatever tries to get in the way, there's nothing can change how I feel about you. Not now, not ever. Understand me?"
Cody opened his eyes and turned his head. Nick met him with a long kiss, one that started gentle and turned dirty fast. One that promised things Cody's body couldn't wait to learn all about. "Wow," Cody whispered when he could speak. "That's a pretty, uh, interesting explanation."
"Yeah?" Nick's eyes danced, lit with a mixture of amusement and tenderness. "I got a show-and-tell coming up I think you're gonna enjoy, you know?"
Cody grinned and squeezed Nick's ass hard. "I'm counting on it, buddy."
Chapter Ten
If Murray hadn't hammered on the stateroom door in the middle of the afternoon, Cody thought he and Nick could quite easily have spent all day and all night in bed. Maybe the whole week. Short on sleep still, drowsing in Nick's arms was nearly as wonderful as the lazy explorations and tentative adventures of wakefulness.
But showering together was a whole new horizon, and there was a knowing look in Murray's eyes when they finally made it to the salon.
"I guess last night was too much for you, Cody," was all Murray said, all solicitation. Then he grinned widely. "But I can't be sorry. I'm taking Mindy out tonight."
Nick started to laugh. "When you first moved aboard I used to give you tips, man."
"We got him his first girl!" Cody said, staring. "We created a monster."
"You sure did, Doctor Frankenstein." Nick grinned.
"Oh, really, Igor?" Cody grabbed his shoulder, grinning back. Touching Nick was so familiar, but the pleasure was so much greater now that he knew. Now that Nick was his.
Murray interposed himself between them neatly, and Cody found himself sitting on the bench seat while Nick went to pour coffee. Cody eyed Murray speculatively, wondering just how Murray had achieved that.
"Cody…" Murray leaned on the table, then took the coffee mug Nick handed him. "Thanks, Nick. Cody, Joanna's been calling since nine. She told me to tell you not to make any plans for tonight until you've spoken to her."
"Oh." Cody frowned. "Too -- " He broke off, color rising in his face. He'd nearly said 'too late'. "Uh, I guess I'll call her."
"You're not going anywhere tonight, pal." Nick's voice was firm, and brooked no argument. Cody looked up, and felt himself starting to harden at the raw possession in Nick's eyes.
"His fever's back," Nick said to Murray, just as firmly. "He needs an early night."
Murray looked at Cody's flushed face and nodded. "I'm sure he does. You two didn't get much sleep last night, right?"
Cody stared at Murray. His flush was becoming a full-blown blush, he could feel his face flaming. "Um, we -- " he started.
Nick spoke at the same time. "What do you mean, Boz?"
Murray glanced from Cody's red face to Nick's watchful stance, and raised his eyebrows. "I heard you in the salon watching TV, really late. Is everything okay, guys?"
Cody put his face in his hands, shaking with the adrenaline rush. Stupid to be terrified of Murray finding out, suspecting -- Murray, their best friend. But it was too new, too fresh for scrutiny or conversation. He felt Nick's hand on his shoulder and bit back a whimper.
"Everything's okay," Nick said, and sat down beside Cody. Cody leaned into him, managing to raise his head and pick up his coffee. "It was just a long night."
"Okay." Murray hesitated. "Cody, I'm worried you haven't shaken this flu yet. I'm worried you're still not sleeping."
"I'm sleeping now, mostly." Cody looked up and met Murray's eyes. He owed the little guy that much at least. "I'm okay, Boz. There's always been nights I -- I can't."
Murray nodded, then looked at Nick as though for confirmation. Nick nodded. "We're both gonna be fine, Boz. We just need an early night."
"Take all the time you need." Murray's worried look relaxed into a smile. "Just make sure you call Joanna first, Cody. She's calling every hour." He sketched a wave. "I'll be downstairs if you need me. I have to get ready. What look d'you think I should go for tonight? Suave? Or something more casual, beachy?"
Nick chuckled. "Go as yourself, Boz. Mindy already knows what you look like."
"Myself! Ha!" Murray spun on his heel and headed down the galley stairs. "Sophisticated. But with a touch of ruffian…" His door clicked closed, as Nick and Cody both burst out laughing.
Cody drank half his coffee before he found the courage to dial Joanna's number, still with no idea what he planned to say. But the phone rang and rang until he set the handset down and shrugged. "I guess she got tired of waiting."
Nick stood up and peered through the blinds. "Real tired, man. She's here."
"What?" Cody stood up and looked, heart beating fast as he saw Joanna unlocking the slip gate. "I -- what'm I gonna tell her?"
"Going out on a limb here, babe, but I'm gonna suggest you steer clear of the truth." Nick grinned and squeezed Cody's shoulder.
"Thanks a lot," Cody muttered. "You know I'm crap at break ups."
"You just don't like being the bad guy," Nick said, and ruffled Cody's hair. "But hey, if you're having second thoughts, I get it. Do what you need to, pal. It's okay, you know?"
"No -- Nick, that's not -- "
Nick grinned, held a finger to his lips and headed down the aft stairs just as Joanna's heels clicked on the wheelhouse deck.
"Cody? Murray? Nick? Is anyone home?"
Cody wanted to run down the stairs after Nick and make him realize that there were no second thoughts. Nick was the one and only thing he was sure of in his life, and the truth of that had been Cody's touchstone since 1972. There was no room for doubt.
Impatiently, he jumped up and met Joanna as she came down the wheelhouse stairs. "Hi," he said shortly. "Murray told me you called, but when I tried calling back, you were out."
"I thought I should come." Joanna helped herself to coffee. She was wearing a floral pantsuit with sharp lines, and something about her seemed cool, detached.
Cody sat down, watching her. This wasn't the Lieutenant, she of the pastel shoulder-pads and pencil skirts, but it wasn't the flowing-dressed girlfriend either. "Something's up," he said, and sipped his own coffee. "What is it, Jo?"
"My grandmother is dying. She's not expected to last the week. I have to go."
"Of course." Cody put his cup down and went to her. Joanna was dry-eyed, but her expression was tight. "Can I help? Do you need me to drive you? Water your plants? What?"
At that, Joanna gave a small smile. "My grandmother is in England, Cody. I'm on the first flight out tomorrow."
"I'll take you to the airport." Cody guided her to the bench seat, but Joanna didn't sit.
"No." Joanna put her coffee down and turned to Cody. "I appreciate the offer, but that's not what I want. I'll be in England for four to six weeks. There are things to arrange, things I can't do from here. People I have to see. My mother isn't well enough to travel so far -- it all falls on me. Cody, I know this is a lot to ask. But Nick's back now -- he and Murray can run the agency, can't they?"
"I guess they could, but what do you mean? What is it you want?"
"Come with me, Cody. Please."
"To England?" Cody's eyebrows shot up as he took a couple of steps back and collapsed into his chair. "For four to six weeks?" He could feel himself shaking his head 'no', even as his brain tried to assemble gentle words to let Joanna down more easily.
"I guess that's what I expected." Joanna stared at him, her gaze cool and disappointed. "But I was stupid enough to hope."
"I'm just a guy with a boat, Joanna. I don't like to travel so much, not since 'Nam. I don't like flashy suits and flashy condos. I like the beach. I like my home. I like knowing I can take a day when I need to. That's who I am, and you know that, so quit acting surprised when I can't be this other guy you imagine yourself in love with!" Cody felt a twinge of guilt as he took refuge in anger -- the easy way, the safe way out. One he had too much practice in.
Joanna nodded dispassionately. "You're right, Cody. I know who you are, and I keep on being surprised anyhow. You're the guy who'd be on the next plane for Timbuktu if Nick wanted you there. As for the guy I imagine myself in love with -- well, Cody, he loves me back, and sometimes I think that's more than you ever did."
Cody hesitated. He couldn't deny the accusation with any credibility, as much as he wanted to. "Maybe we're just too different," he said, the words lame in his own ears. "We want different things."
Joanna stared at him steadily for a long moment, then shrugged. "No, I don't think we do," she said. "I want a man who loves me unreservedly. And you… Cody, you already have that."
"I -- we don't -- " Cody felt the blush spreading up his face as he struggled to find a response. "I keep telling you it isn't a competition," he managed at last.
"No, because Nick already won." Joanna smiled sadly. "Goodbye, Cody. I'll see you when I return from England -- as my friend."
"But Jo -- "
Joanna held up her hand. "Don't, Cody. Just say goodbye."
Cody stared at her, then nodded. "Have a safe trip."
Without another word, Joanna turned and half-ran up the wheelhouse stairs. Cody slumped back into his chair and covered his eyes with his hand. "Told you I'm crap at break ups," he muttered.
Nick dropped gentle hands on Cody's shoulders. He'd come soundlessly back into the room when he'd heard Joanna leave the boat, but he and Cody had a sixth sense when it came to each other. "I thought that went pretty well, considering."
"I wouldn't have gone," Cody said, dropping his hand from his eyes. "Even if we hadn't, last night -- I still wouldn't have gone."
"I know." Nick's hands tightened on Cody's shoulders. "I don't think she expected you to, man. She came to break up with you, because when it came down to it, she finally figured out you weren't that guy she wanted. It was just like you said."
Cody sighed and half-turned in his seat to face Nick. "I always knew I couldn't give her everything, because part of me belonged to you. She's right, you know. If it was you, I'd be on that plane right now."
"Well, yeah." One corner of Nick's mouth lifted in a half-smile. "Difference is, if I asked you to come, it'd be because I needed you, big guy. Not to prove something, not some kind of test."
Cody nodded, realizing the truth of Nick's words. "That was it, right? It was a test of whether I loved her enough." He sighed. "I never did, I guess. Does that make me the worst kind of heel?"
"Not in my book." Nick perched on the bench seat. "You dated her in good faith. You wanted it to work. It didn't. How's that wrong?"
"I guess." Cody shook his head. "I wanted it to work in my head, but here -- " he laid a hand on his heart " -- the only thing I wanted was you and I, on our old boat."
"Our boat?" Nick grinned. "Thought I was a silent partner."
"One thing about you, buddy, you're never silent." Cody grinned back, then sobered. "I still feel bad. Nine months -- nearly ten, and I dump her the day her grandmother dies."
"Let me tell you something. The best time to end a relationship is the moment you know it's over. Tryin' to wait for a better time -- there isn't a good time, you know? Anyway, you didn't have a choice, not unless you were planning on six weeks in England."
Cody shivered. "You're right, I guess. Even if I loved her like she wanted, I couldn't have done that. Not so soon after."
"After what?" Nick prompted gently.
"After twelve weeks alone. Without you." Cody looked down, away, then shrugged impatiently. "Eleven. Whatever."
"I didn't say anything," Nick protested. He squatted beside Cody's chair, laying his palm against Cody's cheek. "Hey. It's not just you, okay? If you'd gone, if that was how it was, well, in about a fortnight I'd'a found out my life's ambition was to see the Queen of England, you know? And I woulda been real sorry to make Joanna so pissy, but if you think being sorry would've stopped me showing up at your hotel -- "
Cody grabbed his partner by the shoulders, starting to laugh. "I don't know how this took so long, pal. I don't know how I ever thought I'd be happy with someone that wasn't you."
Nick leaned in and kissed him. "Now you don't have to be," he whispered, and stood, pulling Cody to his feet. "C'mon. Dunno about you, but I'm kinda hungry."
Cody leaned in again, and Nick fended him off, grinning. "For actual food. You know, a coupla eggs, some bacon, maybe toast -- "
Cody's stomach growled and he grinned back. "Apparently you have a point. But I don't know if we can cook in the galley. Murray's likely used a gallon or more of cologne, and that stuff is kinda flammable."
"Pizza it is. Sold." Nick tucked a proprietary arm around Cody and reached for the phone with his other hand. "Something tells me we're gonna get crumbs in the bed."
"So we'll sleep in the other one," Cody murmured, folding himself into the curve of Nick's arm, leaning against Nick's body, nuzzling into the warmth of Nick's neck.
Nick dropped the phone and turned, wrapping both arms around Cody and going in for a kiss that curled Cody's toes. "Screw the pizza," he growled. "I'll make us a sandwich later. Right now -- "
Cody nodded, breathless, and headed for the stairs. Nick was close behind him, urgent, stumbling into him, clumsy, and it was better than any sweet seduction, any careful feminine wiles.
It was truth, and it made them whole.
Chapter Eleven
Cody awoke on the edges of a dream, conscious of a commanding voice barking orders and little else. He struggled for a moment, lost in time, then Nick's hands slid over his back, anchoring him.
He opened his eyes. Some part of him expected the pale bare walls of their apartment on base, and he blinked slowly, reorienting as the last of the dream left him. The commanding voice belonged to a TV cop, blaring from the small screen in the Riptide's salon.
Cody raised his head, realizing as he did so his pillow was Nick's thigh. He was stretched on the bench seat with his head in Nick's lap, and Murray was sitting opposite at the table.
"Okay? You dreaming?" Nick asked softly as Murray gestured angrily at the screen.
"Portraying computers like that sets the whole industry back a decade! Sure, some of that's possible, but we need to encourage the use of computers and communication technology, not -- not demonize it!"
Cody sat up and rubbed his eyes. "Yeah, I guess I was dreaming. Something about Fort Ord."
"Bad?" Nick slid an arm around him. "That's too bad, Boz," he said more loudly.
Cody shook his head no, and leaned into Nick shamelessly. "Not a nightmare. What time is it, anyhow?"
"Nearly six. You've been sacked out a couple of hours. Guess I wore you out, huh?"
Cody grinned. In the ten days since Joanna had left, he and Nick had spent a lot of time in bed, but neither of them had caught up on much sleep. "Maybe you did, but now I'm all recharged. How 'bout you, buddy? You gonna last the distance, tonight?"
Amusement and a hint of challenge sparked in Nick's eyes. "You know it, guy. Hey, you got your wallet on you?"
"Yup." Cody leaned forward, feeling in his back pocket to be sure. His breath caught in his throat as Nick's fingers took advantage, slipping into the newly-exposed waistband of his jeans and caressing the top of his ass. "Nick!"
Murray looked away from the screen inquiringly, and Cody flushed. "Uh -- "
"Cody was just offering to pay for the pizza," Nick said smugly, fingers still busy. "In fact, I think I hear the delivery guy now."
"Oh, thanks, Cody." Murray grinned as Cody jumped up and tugged his sweater down.
"Pleasure," Cody said shortly, aiming a dagger-filled glare at Nick's self-satisfied smirk. He pulled out his wallet, ignoring the tingling sensation where Nick's fingers had been, and headed for the wheelhouse with all the dignity he could muster.
*
Several hours later, dignity forgotten along with the pizza, Cody lay naked on his bunk, breathing hard as his heart rate gradually returned to normal. Nick, curled against his side, one leg between Cody's, seemed to be trying to keep his heart rate as high as possible. At least, that was the effect Nick's curious, exploring fingers were having beneath Cody's balls.
Cody stood it for another minute, until he regained sufficient control over his limbs for movement, then rolled into Nick, pushing him onto his back.
Nick grinned contentedly, sliding his hands up Cody's back and reaching up for a kiss. "Sorry," he murmured, sounding anything but. "Thought you liked that."
"I do like it." Cody ducked his head against Nick's shoulder and pressed his belly against Nick's hip, their come sticky between them. He slid one leg across Nick's body, drawing up his knee until he could feel Nick's spent cock against his thigh. "Just needed a minute."
Nick kissed him again, then eased one hand lower, caressing the curve of his ass. A moment later, those questing fingers were back, ghosting between his cheeks, stroking the hidden places laid bare by Cody's position.
Cody moaned in what he intended to be half-hearted protest, but as Nick stroked him again, he raised his knee higher and rolled further onto Nick's chest, opening himself wider. As much as he had wanted a quiet moment to enjoy the afterglow, he found himself wanting this more.
Nick loved to touch him. It was something Cody was still getting used to, something he hadn't quite learned to believe in yet. As much as they'd always touched, this knowledge was different. Even now, after sex, Nick wanted Cody closer, wanted his hands on Cody. Wanted to touch Cody everywhere, needed to know Cody would allow it. More than that -- Nick needed to know Cody wanted it too.
And Cody did. Spent as they both were, Cody knew Nick's touch wasn't overtly sexual, even as he explored Cody's last secret place. That was it, pure and simple -- Nick needed Cody to give him everything, and Cody was more than willing.
"Have you still got the plans for the big bed?" Cody murmured, rubbing his head against Nick's shoulder.
"Sure." Nick hesitated, then wriggled up the bed, propping himself up. He reached down and grabbed a towel from beside the bed and as Cody moved up beside him, used it to wipe them both clean. "If we put it in now, though, people might talk."
"Guess they might." Cody leaned in for a kiss. "No-one said we have to have the work done in King Harbor, though, right?"
Nick blinked. "I guess." He slipped an arm around Cody. "It's kind of -- final, huh? Once we got a double bed, we can't exactly go back."
"Go back?" Cody pulled away, sitting back into the corner and frowning at Nick. He thought of Nick's hands on his skin, the promise and truth he'd felt in the touches. There was no way back, not for him. "I thought this was…" It. Everything. "Important."
Nick half-turned toward him. "It's everything," he said, echoing Cody's thought. "But if you change your mind, some pretty girl comes along, hell, I leave the wheelhouse door open one time too many -- you know? If something goes wrong and you don't want this anymore." Nick stopped and drew a deep breath. "I can get back in my own bunk and maybe we can still be buddies. I can lose this, Cody, you know? I don't want to, but I can. But I can't lose you. D'you get that? Whatever happens, I can't lose you."
"First off, I'm not changing my mind." Cody scooted back across the bed and lay down, waiting until Nick snuggled in beside him. "If I haven't thrown you out for leaving the door open yet, why the hell would I do it now? When I finally got a reason for keeping you around?"
Nick grinned at that. "What, my lasagne isn't a good enough reason?"
"You're great in the kitchen," Cody admitted softly, going in for a light kiss. Nick tasted so good, he followed it up with a deeper one, then a third. "Wait, I was talking. Oh, yeah." Cody paused and helped himself to a fourth kiss, just in case he'd imagined how good the first three were. "You're even better right here, in my bunk. In my arms. Maybe you can lose this, but I can't, big guy. I'm nothing without you."
"If we get the bigger bunk, we'll have to tell Murray. I think he'll notice."
"We gotta tell him anyway." Cody ran his hands down Nick's back and lightly stroked his ass. "He's our roommate. It's only fair."
Nick nodded. "Guess you're right. Better to tell him before he walks in on us, anyhow."
"How d'you feel about that?" Cody rolled Nick onto his back and climbed between his parted knees.
"About -- him walking in?" Nick gasped and arched up as Cody pressed their groins together.
"No, idiot. About telling him."
"Oh." Nick lifted one hand to the back of Cody's neck and pulled him down for a kiss. The other hand returned to Cody's ass, sliding into the crack.
Cody growled and pressed into the touch. Slowly he flexed his hips, feeling his cock filling, Feeling Nick hardening in response. "God, you feel good."
"Yeah," Nick said breathlessly. "I do. Feel good about telling Murray, I mean."
Cody chuckled softly. "This feels good too." He raised up, easing a hand between their bodies and stroking Nick's shaft.
"So does this." Nick stroked Cody's ass then lightly centered on his pucker.
Butterflies shot up Cody's spine and he dropped onto Nick, all the strength leaving his limbs in a rush. "Nick!"
"Easy." Nick kissed his temple, fingers ceasing their tentative exploration and coming to rest against Cody's entrance. "Good? Or not?"
"I'm not sure yet," Cody mumbled, burying his head against Nick's shoulder. But as Nick's fingers circled teasingly across his rim, he humped Nick's hip, wriggling until his legs were either side of Nick's and he could spread his knees wide.
"Good," Nick confirmed softly, and withdrew his fingers.
Cody moaned in protest, then found Nick's fingers at his lips. He suckled them in greedily, breathing faster as Nick's other hand squeezed his ass cheek. Nick was hard against his belly, hips thrusting, and Cody found his own hips rocking in time.
It was too good, too sweet -- his need for Nick was all-encompassing, bigger than the simple pleasure of sex, so much more than the physical act. Nick groaned and pulled his fingers from Cody's mouth and Cody, bereft, fastened his lips on Nick's shoulder instead.
Then Nick's fingers, slick with Cody's spit, probed his opening. Circled, teased, then slipped inside.
Cody let go with a cry, arching up, white-hot fire radiating through him as he came. His legs felt boneless, turned to jelly, his passage ached with longing, his heart pounded in his ears. "So good," Nick growled in his ear, then flipped Cody onto his back.
One finger pushed deep inside him, holding him captive. Cody moaned, drawing up his knees, and stared up at Nick through heavy-lidded eyes. Nick leaned down and took an open-mouthed, greedy kiss, then grasped his own cock. Leaning forward over Cody's body, he began to stroke himself, his other hand matching the rhythm as he fingered Cody's hole.
"Oh. Oh!" Cody grabbed his knees and pulled his legs toward his shoulders, shaking as Nick's finger brought the blood rushing back to his groin. "Nick… I can't…"
Nick pressed in deep and held still, head dropping as his eyes closed. Cody's ass spasmed around Nick's finger as Cody arched off the bed, moaning as Nick's come spurted across his belly. Cody's balls were empty but he felt them contract nonetheless, felt the dry orgasm wring pleasure from his spent body.
Nick pulled his finger free and dropped onto Cody's chest, following up with a kiss to his jaw, his cheek. Cody turned into the contact, too shattered to speak, and Nick kissed his lips lightly.
Cody looked up into Nick's eyes then ducked his head, hiding from the intensity in Nick's gaze. They'd spoken of love before -- the deepest of friendships, the closest of partnerships. Cody wanted it, needed it, but seeing it laid out, so naked and real in Nick's eyes, was almost frightening.
"Will I really be enough?" he murmured, half to himself.
"Trust me," Nick whispered in his ear. "You're more than enough."
Cody found himself grinning at Nick's quick understanding -- not surprising, but deeply welcome. Nick had always been his strength, his center. "So're you," he replied, raising his head. "Think you were trying to kill me back there."
"Oh, no." Nick took another kiss, longer, lazier, and this time, when they broke apart, Cody didn't look away.
Epilogue
"Guys! Guys! You're never gonna guess -- "
Murray bounded into the salon in time to see Cody's bare ass disappearing down the stairs into his stateroom. He raised his eyebrows and turned to Nick, then hesitated as he took in the fact that Nick was shirtless on a cool day in November, sitting in the corner of the booth with a pair of jeans laying on the floor next to him.
"Um," Murray said cautiously. "Did I, uh, interrupt something?"
Cody came back up the stairs wearing jeans and nothing else, and handed Nick a bathrobe. "Told you we should have told him," he said, just as Nick said, "I thought a mouse ran up my leg. Scary, huh?"
Murray looked from one to the other. "A mouse?" he and Cody said in unison.
"Look, all right. We were gonna tell you. Me and Cody, uh -- "
"We been thinking about another trip to New Orleans," Cody interrupted, shooting Nick a glance. "Whaddaya say, Boz?"
Murray giggled. "I wonder if they have a different class of mouse there?"
"Nice one, man." Nick glared at Cody. "Cody means -- "
"I know what Cody means." Murray waved a hand. "Listen, sit down, Cody. Nick, why don't you put that bathrobe on." Nick and Cody complied slowly as Murray pulled the chair up to the table and sat himself.
Cody slid in close to Nick and pressed their legs together. "Shoulda let me tell him," Nick muttered under his breath.
"Guys, I was just down at police headquarters trying to get a look at the report on that drug bust last week, the one we think our client's involved in? Anyway, I couldn't get the report, and you wanna know why?" He stopped in triumph, looking from one to the other.
"Because Joanna's away and she's left instructions no-one helps Cody Allen or his friends with anything anymore?"
Cody kicked Nick under the table. "I don't think she'd do that, buddy."
"A woman scorned can do anything," Nick said darkly.
"Focus, guys." Murray waved his hands across in front of Nick and Cody's eyes. "The reason I couldn't get the report is because Quinlan's back!"
"Quinlan? But -- we went to his funeral." Cody frowned. "Murray, what?"
"It was all a setup! They used the accident and sent him undercover. He's just made the biggest drug bust that's ever been made in San Francisco."
"Wow." Nick rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm glad the guy's not dead, but it's gonna suck having to fight for information again."
"What about Joanna?" Cody leaned forward. "If Quinlan's back, what's happening with her?"
"You remember she kept talking about being transferred east? She knew, you see. Uh, and Cody?" Murray reddened slightly and shifted in his seat.
"What?"
"The transfer went through in the middle of June. And, uh, she's had this leave booked since then. According to Collins and Brodie, she's spending it in New York with her mom."
"So her grandmother dying right now was real bad luck," Cody said, shaking his head.
Nick's gaze sharpened. "No, Cody. Her grandmother didn't die. In fact, you ask me, she ain't even sick, am I right? It was a scam. A test."
"That's certainly what it looks like, Nick." Murray nodded, looking somber. "She dropped hints all summer about the transfer and about moving east, and Cody avoided the subject."
"But… but why? Why didn't she just tell me she was moving East and would I come?"
"I don't know much about this kind of thing," Murray said, leaning forward and steepling his fingers, "but it seems to me Joanna knew you wouldn't go, Cody. After all, every time she mentioned the idea you changed the subject. As for the story about her grandmother, I think she wanted you to feel guilty."
"Well, it worked." Cody rubbed his face and sat back. "I don't get it, you know? Why wasn't she just upfront about everything?"
"Like you, you mean?" Murray asked, looking from Nick to Cody with a trace of amusement in his eyes.
"I was!" Cody sat up straight. "I never did anything to try and guilt-trip her!"
Nick laid a hand on Cody's shoulder. "Hey, Boz, Cody's not like that. He -- "
"He invents headaches and charters and I don't know what else to come home early, and avoids sharing fears and problems with anyone he's dating. That's what he's like," Murray said firmly. "At least, that's what he was like with Joanna, and with every girl I've seen him date since I've lived aboard."
Cody dropped his shoulders, looking down. He could hardly deny the charge. "Sometimes I need space," he said in a low voice. "I don't like hurting their feelings."
"And how about now? D'you need space now you're with Nick?"
"No, I -- " Cody stopped, staring at Murray.
Nick straightened in his seat, then slid his arm around Cody. "Cody's not like that," he said again, meeting Murray's eyes. "Girls don't always understand where he's coming from, you know? But I do."
"You do, huh?" Murray looked from Nick to Cody and nodded. "And Cody understands where you're coming from, right?"
Nick nodded. "We, uh. We're together, Boz."
Murray grinned happily. "Thank you. I mean, I knew, of course, but I appreciate you telling me." He stood up, still smiling. "It's about time."
Nick and Cody stared as Murray turned and disappeared down the galley stairs. "He knew?" Cody asked.
"What did he mean, it's about time?" Nick countered.
Cody sighed. "I dunno. But maybe we could go downstairs and, uh, check there's no mouse in your bathrobe?"
Nick's eyes kindled. "Great idea. While we're at it, I can practice giving you space."
"Nick!"
Nick kissed Cody hard. "Enough space to get your jeans off," he growled. "Three seconds cover it, you think?"
Cody leaned into him for a moment then jumped up. "Make it one and a half," he said, and bounded for the stairs, Nick close on his heels.
Rating: NC17
Summary: Cody thinks Joanna might be the one for him. Nick tries to help. Murray's smarter than both of them.
Part One
Part Two
Chapter Nine
Someone had laid him down and dimmed the lights. Grudgingly, Cody found himself back in the present, a heavy weight around his heart and cotton wool stuffing his head. He got his eyes open and realized he was lying on the couch in the salon, and the light was early dawn peeking through the blinds. The salon lights were off.
Cody lay still, trying to sort through the confusion. He knew he must have had a panic attack, a bad one. He thought Nick had been with him, but the thought failed to provide the security it should have.
"You awake?" Nick's voice, very low, accompanied by a light brush of fingers across the back of Cody's neck. The weight around Cody's heart lessened.
"Mmm." Cody tried moving his legs, then progressed to rolling over.
"Easy." Nick got up from the chair beside him. "How you doing?"
"Better for a shower, I think." Cody sat up slowly, comforted when Nick supported him. "Thanks."
Nick nodded and stroked Cody's hair. "I'm sorry," he said urgently. "So sorry."
Cody winced at the sudden memory of broken glass in his veins. "Just don't leave me," he said hoarsely, and stood up. "Not right now."
"Never," Nick said passionately. "Okay? We'll talk -- we gotta talk, but just know I won't leave you. Not now, not ever again."
Nick shaved while Cody showered, showered while Cody shaved, keeping them close. It was nearly too much, but at the same time, Cody needed the closeness. He felt better physically for the shower -- more alert, more comfortable -- but mentally, emotionally, he knew he was still a wreck.
Back in the stateroom, he pulled on a fresh pair of sweats and lay down on his bunk. He listened to Nick moving around in the head, and let the memories of the night before weave their way into his consciousness. Some things were a little hazy, but he knew what had sent him over the edge -- there was only one idea that still had so much power after so many years. The idea of losing Nick.
Nick walked back in the room naked, glanced at Cody, then took a clean pair of sweats for himself. Cody waited until he'd finished dressing, then said, "Hey."
Nick sat down on his own bunk. "You okay?"
"If I marry Joanna, you're gonna marry Susie. Is that what you told me last night?"
Nick's mouth quirked in something that might have been a smile. "Yeah, I guess. I was thinking about it, anyhow. Why? You wanna have a double wedding?"
Cody flinched, and Nick was beside him instantly, perching on his bunk, reaching out. "I'm sorry. Babe, I'm sorry. I know I hurt you, an' now I'm doing it again…"
Cody resisted the offered comfort for a moment, then let Nick pull him close. He buried his head against Nick's neck and held on.
"I wasn't listening, last night," Nick said, against his cheek. "You kept telling me how much I hurt you when I went away. How scared you were I was gonna do it again. That you were scared I'd leave you forever. And I just kept on saying you were gonna find a girl, find the life you wanted." Nick took a deep breath. "I don't want you to find a girl so I can leave, Cody. I don't want that. Okay?"
Cody's breath hitched in his chest. There it was, the unbearable knowledge that had hit him in the night, sent him spiraling out of control. Nick would leave him, sacrifice him, for the nameless girl with Renee's face, and maybe Nick already had.
"Easy. Easy." Nick held him tighter, rocking him a little. "Look at me. Hey."
Cody turned his head and looked up into Nick's face. "I'm okay," he managed, calling on every shred of composure he had.
"I won't leave you. I promise. Never again, okay? I'm sorry I went away the way I did. I didn't figure on it being so hard on you, and I'm never gonna put either of us through that again."
Finding strength from somewhere inside, somewhere dark, Cody pulled himself out of Nick's arms and scooted back against the wall. From the same place, he found a thing he called a smile and pasted it on his lips. "I was a mess last night," he said, cool and collected. Calm. Emotionless. He could get through. "I'm sorry about that. But I don't need a babysitter, okay? You can -- " Cody's careful facade crumbled a moment, and he covered it with a cough, then forced himself on. "Go. Find this soulmate of yours and make her listen, all right? That's once in a lifetime stuff."
"Cody -- "
Unable to hold himself together any longer, Cody started to push past Nick. He had no idea where he was going, he just had to get away. But Nick had hold of him, pinning his arms when he struggled, and then, when he wouldn't give up, rolling him onto the mattress and straddling him, holding him down.
Cody rested his face against the pillow and let his tears fall. Nick's weight, pinning him down, Nick's hands on his shoulders, so tough, so gentle -- he was so safe with Nick.
Nick's hands turned soft as Cody stopped fighting, gentling him instead of holding him down. "How many times do I have to tell you," Nick said breathlessly, "there's no girl."
Raising up, Nick tugged Cody's shoulder and turned him over. He wiped the tears from Cody's cheeks with his thumbs. "There's no girl," he repeated. "Understand? There's no-one else I want to be with. There's no-one more important to me than you."
Cody blinked. "But you said -- "
"I said I couldn't have what I wanted, and there could never be anyone else. That's what I said."
"Is she dead?" Cody frowned. "I don't understand."
Nick smiled at that. "I'm telling you you're the most important person in my life, and you don't understand. Cody, baby." Nick leaned closer, his left hand sliding through Cody's hair. His right hand came up to Cody's cheek, thumb brushing lightly over Cody's lips and the edge of his mustache.
"Nick?" Cody touched his lips with his tongue, accidentally connecting with Nick's thumb.
Nick shivered, then closed the remaining distance between them. One moment Cody was still struggling to understand; the next, his lips were being claimed by his partner, with no vestige of gentleness or restraint.
It was terrifying; it was exhilarating; it was uplifting. Unexpected and shocking, but not unwelcome -- Cody's brain had questions, but his body was in the game ahead of him, answering Nick's hunger with eager acceptance. And when Nick finally pulled back, Cody followed blindly, desperate to remain close.
"No girl," Nick whispered breathlessly, collapsing against the wall and pulling Cody into a sitting position beside him. "Just you. Do you get it now? It was only ever you."
Cody curled himself into Nick's chest, hesitantly sliding a leg between Nick's. "I'm guessing this is one of the things you didn't tell me about your life."
Nick smiled, sliding one hand up Cody's ribs, light, caressing. "You're looking at the reason I don't tell you everything about my life," he said frankly. "So now you know. No more secrets."
"No more secrets like the one where I come home and find you've left, right?"
Nick looked into the shadowed fear in Cody's eyes and pulled him close. "Never," he said quietly. "I thought -- hell, you know what it's like when you have a girl and I'm around. You bitch me out about being jealous, we fight, the girl hates me. And you know what, it's true, I am jealous, only not the way you meant. I'm jealous as hell she gets your time, your attention, she gets to have her hands all over you. She should hate me. I'm her worst enemy. I just figured if Joanna was the one, you deserved a fair shot, without me screwing it up for you again."
Cody leaned into Nick's arms and closed his eyes. Fighting with Nick over girls was half the thrill -- maybe even all the thrill. And no night with any girl, no matter how pretty, how skilled, had ever equalled the pleasure he took in sharing an afternoon's fishing with Nick, or working on the Mimi with Nick, or arguing with Nick over dinner.
Nick's naked skin was hot against his own, almost too warm in the close confines of the stateroom. In the closeness of the single bunk, and the small space they'd chosen to share. Cody moved slightly, aware of Nick's heartbeat, Nick's breathing. Aware of his own nerve endings singing, hungry for touch, awakened by the kiss.
"Giving yourself too much credit," Cody mumbled, moving again, allowing himself to feel the thrill of Nick's body hair against his chest. He was half hard already, had been since Nick's lips had touched his, arousal tantalizing and increasingly insistent in his belly. "I c'n screw up with girls without any help from you."
"Well sure, I know you can." Nick wriggled himself, dragging the pillow against the bulkhead and leaning back against it. "First off you don't ask them out, and when you do, they turn out to be axe murderers."
Cody grinned and eased down beside Nick. He was rewarded with Nick's arm around his shoulders and another light caress, this one tracing his collar bone. "Not axe murderers. Just assault, huh?"
"That we know about," Nick said darkly. "But remember Prissy? The typist? That was me."
Cody thought long and hard, and couldn't come up with any girl fitting the description. "Drawing a blank, buddy."
"I took her for a ride in the Mimi, remember? She got airsick, turned out."
"Oh." Cody started to laugh, remembering a certain blonde and her tirade against Nick's piloting skills. "Petra, the legal aide? Wait, are you gonna tell me you really looped the loop in the Mimi?"
"It was more of a roll." Nick's thumb performed a more detailed exploration of Cody's collarbone and Cody tilted his head back, giving Nick room to work.
"A roll? What kind of harbor tour includes a roll in an antique Sikorsky that shoulda been junked a decade back?"
"The kind that makes girls remember they got a sick granny back East needs their tender care." Nick's hand slid down Cody's chest, the little finger brushing Cody's nipple. It might have been accidental, save that when Cody gasped, Nick did it again. "Anyway, leave my chopper out of this."
"Seems to me your chopper's been paying way too much attention to my love life."
"What can I say? Mimi's a helper."
"Jury's out on that one, buddy. So how many other girls have I lost because of you, huh?"
"Plenty. You want a list?"
Cody frowned slightly. When Petra had called and broken it off, he'd been relieved. He and Nick had watched a game, won some money, taken Murray out for dinner to celebrate. "The only breakup I lost any sleep over was Janet, and I only wish you'd helped me out there, big guy. The others… hell, I was ready for 'em to end."
"Not as ready as me." Nick sighed. "Listen, I'm sorry, huh? I just -- I never thought any of 'em were good enough for you, you know?"
"But Joanna was?"
"No, but you said she was the one. You told me before you thought you were falling for chicks, but you'd never said that. So I figured it was serious. And I thought since she was a cop, she'd maybe have more respect for our partnership than most girls."
"I think you were wrong on all counts." Cody sighed. "Especially on the respect thing."
"Just shows I should never listen to you, huh?" Nick teased. His roving hand had slid lower, traced its way over Cody's ribcage and come to rest on Cody's hip, fingers lightly skimming the curve of Cody's butt through his sweats. Cody couldn't think about anything else.
"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked suddenly.
"Tell you what?" Nick asked, wariness creeping into his voice. His fingers stilled, and his hand slid higher, up to safer territory.
"That it was me. After everything we've been through, why didn't you just say something?"
"Figured I'd lose you, man. You like girls. You wanted to get married, have a family. You went gaga over little Katie. 'Hey, buddy, give that up and stay here on the boat with me' just wasn't gonna fly, y'know?"
Cody closed his eyes and thought of the seven years they'd been on the boat together. The nine years before that they'd been friends and partners. "You call yourself a pilot," he said softly, opening his eyes again. "Compared to that pink dumpster, it woulda been a piece of cake."
Nick stared at him for a moment, then a slow grin spread across his face. "Well, when you put it like that…"
"You really thought I'd -- what? Throw you out if you told me?"
Nick shook his head, serious again. "No. Not that. But it would have been different, and I don't know, maybe you wouldn't have wanted to share a cabin anymore."
"Or maybe I'd have wanted to share more than a cabin. That never occurred to you?"
"Not until last night -- this morning. You always liked girls, babe."
"I could say the same thing about you," Cody said, moving closer. He reached out, resting a hand on Nick's ribs, and felt Nick's hand slide lower again, over his own ass.
"I like girls just fine. It's just that I like you more." Nick moved in, bringing their lips together. This kiss was deeper, gentler, and it went straight to Cody's cock.
Cody groaned, thrusting his hips forward involuntarily. Nick rolled him on his back then slid on top of him, legs between Cody's. Cody felt the heat of Nick's groin through his sweats and it stoked his own fire. He spread his legs wider, drawing up his knees as Nick claimed his mouth again, hungry and urgent.
Cody ran his hands down Nick's back then under the waistband of his sweats, finding Nick's ass. Nick moaned, thrusting faster as Cody gripped his buttcheeks, lowering his hips and increasing the friction.
As Nick kissed him again, ravaging his mouth, the feelings were too much. Cody felt himself on the edge and tightened his grip, dropping his head back and crying out his release.
"Cody… oh, God. Cody." Nick pulled free of Cody's hands and shoved his own sweats down. Cody struggled to keep his eyes open, to watch, as Nick gripped his thick cock and started to stroke. And then Nick came, spurts of white branding Cody's skin, marking him.
Cody stared, entranced, and caught Nick's hand when he moved to wipe it away. He squirmed, trying to get his sweats down, and Nick, understanding, rolled to the side and helped, pulling the offending garment off and tossing it to the floor. His own followed. "Better?"
"Touch me," Cody murmured. "Before we clean up. I want to know…"
Nick's hand slid up Cody's thigh and into the crease. Cody parted his legs further, moaning as Nick brushed the edge of his tangled, sticky pubic hair.
"Bet Joanna never made you come in your pants," Nick said, a note of triumph in his voice, and cupped Cody's balls.
Cody gasped and lifted his hips. "Don't believe she did. Kept telling you it wasn't a competition."
Nick leaned down, lapped a stripe of his own come off Cody's chest, then ran his lips over Cody's cock. "The way I see it, I won this prize fair and square."
Cody stared at him, caught in the ecstasy of Nick's mouth on his cock, and then Nick kissed him again, mouth alive with the flavor of them both together.
Cody reached for Nick and pulled him close, glorying in the feel of his partner's naked skin against his own, Nick's soft cock resting against his thigh. Cody let one hand drift down over the swell of Nick's ass, cupping beneath the cheek.
Nick rolled forward, pressing closer, sliding his leg over Cody's, opening himself. Cody's fingers encountered the sweat-damp hair behind Nick's balls, and he explored slowly, gently.
Nick wriggled. "Tickles," he muttered, and buried his head against Cody's neck.
"Yeah?" Cody cupped his ass more firmly. "Better?"
"Didn't say I was complaining. But that's good too." Nick shifted slightly, pressing into Cody's touch. "Whatever you want, okay? However you want this to work."
Cody closed his eyes, resting beneath his partner's weight. This was safety, this was truth, and his arms were full of exactly what he wanted. Even if it had come so suddenly, in a form he had never envisioned.
"What I want is my partner beside me, always," he said in a low voice. "On a case, on the beach, at the ballgame. In our bed. That's what I always wanted. I guess I just never thought out what that meant."
"Cody…" Nick caught his breath. "It means I'll never leave you, you know? It means I got your back, whatever's going down. Whatever's between us, whatever tries to get in the way, there's nothing can change how I feel about you. Not now, not ever. Understand me?"
Cody opened his eyes and turned his head. Nick met him with a long kiss, one that started gentle and turned dirty fast. One that promised things Cody's body couldn't wait to learn all about. "Wow," Cody whispered when he could speak. "That's a pretty, uh, interesting explanation."
"Yeah?" Nick's eyes danced, lit with a mixture of amusement and tenderness. "I got a show-and-tell coming up I think you're gonna enjoy, you know?"
Cody grinned and squeezed Nick's ass hard. "I'm counting on it, buddy."
Chapter Ten
If Murray hadn't hammered on the stateroom door in the middle of the afternoon, Cody thought he and Nick could quite easily have spent all day and all night in bed. Maybe the whole week. Short on sleep still, drowsing in Nick's arms was nearly as wonderful as the lazy explorations and tentative adventures of wakefulness.
But showering together was a whole new horizon, and there was a knowing look in Murray's eyes when they finally made it to the salon.
"I guess last night was too much for you, Cody," was all Murray said, all solicitation. Then he grinned widely. "But I can't be sorry. I'm taking Mindy out tonight."
Nick started to laugh. "When you first moved aboard I used to give you tips, man."
"We got him his first girl!" Cody said, staring. "We created a monster."
"You sure did, Doctor Frankenstein." Nick grinned.
"Oh, really, Igor?" Cody grabbed his shoulder, grinning back. Touching Nick was so familiar, but the pleasure was so much greater now that he knew. Now that Nick was his.
Murray interposed himself between them neatly, and Cody found himself sitting on the bench seat while Nick went to pour coffee. Cody eyed Murray speculatively, wondering just how Murray had achieved that.
"Cody…" Murray leaned on the table, then took the coffee mug Nick handed him. "Thanks, Nick. Cody, Joanna's been calling since nine. She told me to tell you not to make any plans for tonight until you've spoken to her."
"Oh." Cody frowned. "Too -- " He broke off, color rising in his face. He'd nearly said 'too late'. "Uh, I guess I'll call her."
"You're not going anywhere tonight, pal." Nick's voice was firm, and brooked no argument. Cody looked up, and felt himself starting to harden at the raw possession in Nick's eyes.
"His fever's back," Nick said to Murray, just as firmly. "He needs an early night."
Murray looked at Cody's flushed face and nodded. "I'm sure he does. You two didn't get much sleep last night, right?"
Cody stared at Murray. His flush was becoming a full-blown blush, he could feel his face flaming. "Um, we -- " he started.
Nick spoke at the same time. "What do you mean, Boz?"
Murray glanced from Cody's red face to Nick's watchful stance, and raised his eyebrows. "I heard you in the salon watching TV, really late. Is everything okay, guys?"
Cody put his face in his hands, shaking with the adrenaline rush. Stupid to be terrified of Murray finding out, suspecting -- Murray, their best friend. But it was too new, too fresh for scrutiny or conversation. He felt Nick's hand on his shoulder and bit back a whimper.
"Everything's okay," Nick said, and sat down beside Cody. Cody leaned into him, managing to raise his head and pick up his coffee. "It was just a long night."
"Okay." Murray hesitated. "Cody, I'm worried you haven't shaken this flu yet. I'm worried you're still not sleeping."
"I'm sleeping now, mostly." Cody looked up and met Murray's eyes. He owed the little guy that much at least. "I'm okay, Boz. There's always been nights I -- I can't."
Murray nodded, then looked at Nick as though for confirmation. Nick nodded. "We're both gonna be fine, Boz. We just need an early night."
"Take all the time you need." Murray's worried look relaxed into a smile. "Just make sure you call Joanna first, Cody. She's calling every hour." He sketched a wave. "I'll be downstairs if you need me. I have to get ready. What look d'you think I should go for tonight? Suave? Or something more casual, beachy?"
Nick chuckled. "Go as yourself, Boz. Mindy already knows what you look like."
"Myself! Ha!" Murray spun on his heel and headed down the galley stairs. "Sophisticated. But with a touch of ruffian…" His door clicked closed, as Nick and Cody both burst out laughing.
Cody drank half his coffee before he found the courage to dial Joanna's number, still with no idea what he planned to say. But the phone rang and rang until he set the handset down and shrugged. "I guess she got tired of waiting."
Nick stood up and peered through the blinds. "Real tired, man. She's here."
"What?" Cody stood up and looked, heart beating fast as he saw Joanna unlocking the slip gate. "I -- what'm I gonna tell her?"
"Going out on a limb here, babe, but I'm gonna suggest you steer clear of the truth." Nick grinned and squeezed Cody's shoulder.
"Thanks a lot," Cody muttered. "You know I'm crap at break ups."
"You just don't like being the bad guy," Nick said, and ruffled Cody's hair. "But hey, if you're having second thoughts, I get it. Do what you need to, pal. It's okay, you know?"
"No -- Nick, that's not -- "
Nick grinned, held a finger to his lips and headed down the aft stairs just as Joanna's heels clicked on the wheelhouse deck.
"Cody? Murray? Nick? Is anyone home?"
Cody wanted to run down the stairs after Nick and make him realize that there were no second thoughts. Nick was the one and only thing he was sure of in his life, and the truth of that had been Cody's touchstone since 1972. There was no room for doubt.
Impatiently, he jumped up and met Joanna as she came down the wheelhouse stairs. "Hi," he said shortly. "Murray told me you called, but when I tried calling back, you were out."
"I thought I should come." Joanna helped herself to coffee. She was wearing a floral pantsuit with sharp lines, and something about her seemed cool, detached.
Cody sat down, watching her. This wasn't the Lieutenant, she of the pastel shoulder-pads and pencil skirts, but it wasn't the flowing-dressed girlfriend either. "Something's up," he said, and sipped his own coffee. "What is it, Jo?"
"My grandmother is dying. She's not expected to last the week. I have to go."
"Of course." Cody put his cup down and went to her. Joanna was dry-eyed, but her expression was tight. "Can I help? Do you need me to drive you? Water your plants? What?"
At that, Joanna gave a small smile. "My grandmother is in England, Cody. I'm on the first flight out tomorrow."
"I'll take you to the airport." Cody guided her to the bench seat, but Joanna didn't sit.
"No." Joanna put her coffee down and turned to Cody. "I appreciate the offer, but that's not what I want. I'll be in England for four to six weeks. There are things to arrange, things I can't do from here. People I have to see. My mother isn't well enough to travel so far -- it all falls on me. Cody, I know this is a lot to ask. But Nick's back now -- he and Murray can run the agency, can't they?"
"I guess they could, but what do you mean? What is it you want?"
"Come with me, Cody. Please."
"To England?" Cody's eyebrows shot up as he took a couple of steps back and collapsed into his chair. "For four to six weeks?" He could feel himself shaking his head 'no', even as his brain tried to assemble gentle words to let Joanna down more easily.
"I guess that's what I expected." Joanna stared at him, her gaze cool and disappointed. "But I was stupid enough to hope."
"I'm just a guy with a boat, Joanna. I don't like to travel so much, not since 'Nam. I don't like flashy suits and flashy condos. I like the beach. I like my home. I like knowing I can take a day when I need to. That's who I am, and you know that, so quit acting surprised when I can't be this other guy you imagine yourself in love with!" Cody felt a twinge of guilt as he took refuge in anger -- the easy way, the safe way out. One he had too much practice in.
Joanna nodded dispassionately. "You're right, Cody. I know who you are, and I keep on being surprised anyhow. You're the guy who'd be on the next plane for Timbuktu if Nick wanted you there. As for the guy I imagine myself in love with -- well, Cody, he loves me back, and sometimes I think that's more than you ever did."
Cody hesitated. He couldn't deny the accusation with any credibility, as much as he wanted to. "Maybe we're just too different," he said, the words lame in his own ears. "We want different things."
Joanna stared at him steadily for a long moment, then shrugged. "No, I don't think we do," she said. "I want a man who loves me unreservedly. And you… Cody, you already have that."
"I -- we don't -- " Cody felt the blush spreading up his face as he struggled to find a response. "I keep telling you it isn't a competition," he managed at last.
"No, because Nick already won." Joanna smiled sadly. "Goodbye, Cody. I'll see you when I return from England -- as my friend."
"But Jo -- "
Joanna held up her hand. "Don't, Cody. Just say goodbye."
Cody stared at her, then nodded. "Have a safe trip."
Without another word, Joanna turned and half-ran up the wheelhouse stairs. Cody slumped back into his chair and covered his eyes with his hand. "Told you I'm crap at break ups," he muttered.
Nick dropped gentle hands on Cody's shoulders. He'd come soundlessly back into the room when he'd heard Joanna leave the boat, but he and Cody had a sixth sense when it came to each other. "I thought that went pretty well, considering."
"I wouldn't have gone," Cody said, dropping his hand from his eyes. "Even if we hadn't, last night -- I still wouldn't have gone."
"I know." Nick's hands tightened on Cody's shoulders. "I don't think she expected you to, man. She came to break up with you, because when it came down to it, she finally figured out you weren't that guy she wanted. It was just like you said."
Cody sighed and half-turned in his seat to face Nick. "I always knew I couldn't give her everything, because part of me belonged to you. She's right, you know. If it was you, I'd be on that plane right now."
"Well, yeah." One corner of Nick's mouth lifted in a half-smile. "Difference is, if I asked you to come, it'd be because I needed you, big guy. Not to prove something, not some kind of test."
Cody nodded, realizing the truth of Nick's words. "That was it, right? It was a test of whether I loved her enough." He sighed. "I never did, I guess. Does that make me the worst kind of heel?"
"Not in my book." Nick perched on the bench seat. "You dated her in good faith. You wanted it to work. It didn't. How's that wrong?"
"I guess." Cody shook his head. "I wanted it to work in my head, but here -- " he laid a hand on his heart " -- the only thing I wanted was you and I, on our old boat."
"Our boat?" Nick grinned. "Thought I was a silent partner."
"One thing about you, buddy, you're never silent." Cody grinned back, then sobered. "I still feel bad. Nine months -- nearly ten, and I dump her the day her grandmother dies."
"Let me tell you something. The best time to end a relationship is the moment you know it's over. Tryin' to wait for a better time -- there isn't a good time, you know? Anyway, you didn't have a choice, not unless you were planning on six weeks in England."
Cody shivered. "You're right, I guess. Even if I loved her like she wanted, I couldn't have done that. Not so soon after."
"After what?" Nick prompted gently.
"After twelve weeks alone. Without you." Cody looked down, away, then shrugged impatiently. "Eleven. Whatever."
"I didn't say anything," Nick protested. He squatted beside Cody's chair, laying his palm against Cody's cheek. "Hey. It's not just you, okay? If you'd gone, if that was how it was, well, in about a fortnight I'd'a found out my life's ambition was to see the Queen of England, you know? And I woulda been real sorry to make Joanna so pissy, but if you think being sorry would've stopped me showing up at your hotel -- "
Cody grabbed his partner by the shoulders, starting to laugh. "I don't know how this took so long, pal. I don't know how I ever thought I'd be happy with someone that wasn't you."
Nick leaned in and kissed him. "Now you don't have to be," he whispered, and stood, pulling Cody to his feet. "C'mon. Dunno about you, but I'm kinda hungry."
Cody leaned in again, and Nick fended him off, grinning. "For actual food. You know, a coupla eggs, some bacon, maybe toast -- "
Cody's stomach growled and he grinned back. "Apparently you have a point. But I don't know if we can cook in the galley. Murray's likely used a gallon or more of cologne, and that stuff is kinda flammable."
"Pizza it is. Sold." Nick tucked a proprietary arm around Cody and reached for the phone with his other hand. "Something tells me we're gonna get crumbs in the bed."
"So we'll sleep in the other one," Cody murmured, folding himself into the curve of Nick's arm, leaning against Nick's body, nuzzling into the warmth of Nick's neck.
Nick dropped the phone and turned, wrapping both arms around Cody and going in for a kiss that curled Cody's toes. "Screw the pizza," he growled. "I'll make us a sandwich later. Right now -- "
Cody nodded, breathless, and headed for the stairs. Nick was close behind him, urgent, stumbling into him, clumsy, and it was better than any sweet seduction, any careful feminine wiles.
It was truth, and it made them whole.
Chapter Eleven
Cody awoke on the edges of a dream, conscious of a commanding voice barking orders and little else. He struggled for a moment, lost in time, then Nick's hands slid over his back, anchoring him.
He opened his eyes. Some part of him expected the pale bare walls of their apartment on base, and he blinked slowly, reorienting as the last of the dream left him. The commanding voice belonged to a TV cop, blaring from the small screen in the Riptide's salon.
Cody raised his head, realizing as he did so his pillow was Nick's thigh. He was stretched on the bench seat with his head in Nick's lap, and Murray was sitting opposite at the table.
"Okay? You dreaming?" Nick asked softly as Murray gestured angrily at the screen.
"Portraying computers like that sets the whole industry back a decade! Sure, some of that's possible, but we need to encourage the use of computers and communication technology, not -- not demonize it!"
Cody sat up and rubbed his eyes. "Yeah, I guess I was dreaming. Something about Fort Ord."
"Bad?" Nick slid an arm around him. "That's too bad, Boz," he said more loudly.
Cody shook his head no, and leaned into Nick shamelessly. "Not a nightmare. What time is it, anyhow?"
"Nearly six. You've been sacked out a couple of hours. Guess I wore you out, huh?"
Cody grinned. In the ten days since Joanna had left, he and Nick had spent a lot of time in bed, but neither of them had caught up on much sleep. "Maybe you did, but now I'm all recharged. How 'bout you, buddy? You gonna last the distance, tonight?"
Amusement and a hint of challenge sparked in Nick's eyes. "You know it, guy. Hey, you got your wallet on you?"
"Yup." Cody leaned forward, feeling in his back pocket to be sure. His breath caught in his throat as Nick's fingers took advantage, slipping into the newly-exposed waistband of his jeans and caressing the top of his ass. "Nick!"
Murray looked away from the screen inquiringly, and Cody flushed. "Uh -- "
"Cody was just offering to pay for the pizza," Nick said smugly, fingers still busy. "In fact, I think I hear the delivery guy now."
"Oh, thanks, Cody." Murray grinned as Cody jumped up and tugged his sweater down.
"Pleasure," Cody said shortly, aiming a dagger-filled glare at Nick's self-satisfied smirk. He pulled out his wallet, ignoring the tingling sensation where Nick's fingers had been, and headed for the wheelhouse with all the dignity he could muster.
*
Several hours later, dignity forgotten along with the pizza, Cody lay naked on his bunk, breathing hard as his heart rate gradually returned to normal. Nick, curled against his side, one leg between Cody's, seemed to be trying to keep his heart rate as high as possible. At least, that was the effect Nick's curious, exploring fingers were having beneath Cody's balls.
Cody stood it for another minute, until he regained sufficient control over his limbs for movement, then rolled into Nick, pushing him onto his back.
Nick grinned contentedly, sliding his hands up Cody's back and reaching up for a kiss. "Sorry," he murmured, sounding anything but. "Thought you liked that."
"I do like it." Cody ducked his head against Nick's shoulder and pressed his belly against Nick's hip, their come sticky between them. He slid one leg across Nick's body, drawing up his knee until he could feel Nick's spent cock against his thigh. "Just needed a minute."
Nick kissed him again, then eased one hand lower, caressing the curve of his ass. A moment later, those questing fingers were back, ghosting between his cheeks, stroking the hidden places laid bare by Cody's position.
Cody moaned in what he intended to be half-hearted protest, but as Nick stroked him again, he raised his knee higher and rolled further onto Nick's chest, opening himself wider. As much as he had wanted a quiet moment to enjoy the afterglow, he found himself wanting this more.
Nick loved to touch him. It was something Cody was still getting used to, something he hadn't quite learned to believe in yet. As much as they'd always touched, this knowledge was different. Even now, after sex, Nick wanted Cody closer, wanted his hands on Cody. Wanted to touch Cody everywhere, needed to know Cody would allow it. More than that -- Nick needed to know Cody wanted it too.
And Cody did. Spent as they both were, Cody knew Nick's touch wasn't overtly sexual, even as he explored Cody's last secret place. That was it, pure and simple -- Nick needed Cody to give him everything, and Cody was more than willing.
"Have you still got the plans for the big bed?" Cody murmured, rubbing his head against Nick's shoulder.
"Sure." Nick hesitated, then wriggled up the bed, propping himself up. He reached down and grabbed a towel from beside the bed and as Cody moved up beside him, used it to wipe them both clean. "If we put it in now, though, people might talk."
"Guess they might." Cody leaned in for a kiss. "No-one said we have to have the work done in King Harbor, though, right?"
Nick blinked. "I guess." He slipped an arm around Cody. "It's kind of -- final, huh? Once we got a double bed, we can't exactly go back."
"Go back?" Cody pulled away, sitting back into the corner and frowning at Nick. He thought of Nick's hands on his skin, the promise and truth he'd felt in the touches. There was no way back, not for him. "I thought this was…" It. Everything. "Important."
Nick half-turned toward him. "It's everything," he said, echoing Cody's thought. "But if you change your mind, some pretty girl comes along, hell, I leave the wheelhouse door open one time too many -- you know? If something goes wrong and you don't want this anymore." Nick stopped and drew a deep breath. "I can get back in my own bunk and maybe we can still be buddies. I can lose this, Cody, you know? I don't want to, but I can. But I can't lose you. D'you get that? Whatever happens, I can't lose you."
"First off, I'm not changing my mind." Cody scooted back across the bed and lay down, waiting until Nick snuggled in beside him. "If I haven't thrown you out for leaving the door open yet, why the hell would I do it now? When I finally got a reason for keeping you around?"
Nick grinned at that. "What, my lasagne isn't a good enough reason?"
"You're great in the kitchen," Cody admitted softly, going in for a light kiss. Nick tasted so good, he followed it up with a deeper one, then a third. "Wait, I was talking. Oh, yeah." Cody paused and helped himself to a fourth kiss, just in case he'd imagined how good the first three were. "You're even better right here, in my bunk. In my arms. Maybe you can lose this, but I can't, big guy. I'm nothing without you."
"If we get the bigger bunk, we'll have to tell Murray. I think he'll notice."
"We gotta tell him anyway." Cody ran his hands down Nick's back and lightly stroked his ass. "He's our roommate. It's only fair."
Nick nodded. "Guess you're right. Better to tell him before he walks in on us, anyhow."
"How d'you feel about that?" Cody rolled Nick onto his back and climbed between his parted knees.
"About -- him walking in?" Nick gasped and arched up as Cody pressed their groins together.
"No, idiot. About telling him."
"Oh." Nick lifted one hand to the back of Cody's neck and pulled him down for a kiss. The other hand returned to Cody's ass, sliding into the crack.
Cody growled and pressed into the touch. Slowly he flexed his hips, feeling his cock filling, Feeling Nick hardening in response. "God, you feel good."
"Yeah," Nick said breathlessly. "I do. Feel good about telling Murray, I mean."
Cody chuckled softly. "This feels good too." He raised up, easing a hand between their bodies and stroking Nick's shaft.
"So does this." Nick stroked Cody's ass then lightly centered on his pucker.
Butterflies shot up Cody's spine and he dropped onto Nick, all the strength leaving his limbs in a rush. "Nick!"
"Easy." Nick kissed his temple, fingers ceasing their tentative exploration and coming to rest against Cody's entrance. "Good? Or not?"
"I'm not sure yet," Cody mumbled, burying his head against Nick's shoulder. But as Nick's fingers circled teasingly across his rim, he humped Nick's hip, wriggling until his legs were either side of Nick's and he could spread his knees wide.
"Good," Nick confirmed softly, and withdrew his fingers.
Cody moaned in protest, then found Nick's fingers at his lips. He suckled them in greedily, breathing faster as Nick's other hand squeezed his ass cheek. Nick was hard against his belly, hips thrusting, and Cody found his own hips rocking in time.
It was too good, too sweet -- his need for Nick was all-encompassing, bigger than the simple pleasure of sex, so much more than the physical act. Nick groaned and pulled his fingers from Cody's mouth and Cody, bereft, fastened his lips on Nick's shoulder instead.
Then Nick's fingers, slick with Cody's spit, probed his opening. Circled, teased, then slipped inside.
Cody let go with a cry, arching up, white-hot fire radiating through him as he came. His legs felt boneless, turned to jelly, his passage ached with longing, his heart pounded in his ears. "So good," Nick growled in his ear, then flipped Cody onto his back.
One finger pushed deep inside him, holding him captive. Cody moaned, drawing up his knees, and stared up at Nick through heavy-lidded eyes. Nick leaned down and took an open-mouthed, greedy kiss, then grasped his own cock. Leaning forward over Cody's body, he began to stroke himself, his other hand matching the rhythm as he fingered Cody's hole.
"Oh. Oh!" Cody grabbed his knees and pulled his legs toward his shoulders, shaking as Nick's finger brought the blood rushing back to his groin. "Nick… I can't…"
Nick pressed in deep and held still, head dropping as his eyes closed. Cody's ass spasmed around Nick's finger as Cody arched off the bed, moaning as Nick's come spurted across his belly. Cody's balls were empty but he felt them contract nonetheless, felt the dry orgasm wring pleasure from his spent body.
Nick pulled his finger free and dropped onto Cody's chest, following up with a kiss to his jaw, his cheek. Cody turned into the contact, too shattered to speak, and Nick kissed his lips lightly.
Cody looked up into Nick's eyes then ducked his head, hiding from the intensity in Nick's gaze. They'd spoken of love before -- the deepest of friendships, the closest of partnerships. Cody wanted it, needed it, but seeing it laid out, so naked and real in Nick's eyes, was almost frightening.
"Will I really be enough?" he murmured, half to himself.
"Trust me," Nick whispered in his ear. "You're more than enough."
Cody found himself grinning at Nick's quick understanding -- not surprising, but deeply welcome. Nick had always been his strength, his center. "So're you," he replied, raising his head. "Think you were trying to kill me back there."
"Oh, no." Nick took another kiss, longer, lazier, and this time, when they broke apart, Cody didn't look away.
Epilogue
"Guys! Guys! You're never gonna guess -- "
Murray bounded into the salon in time to see Cody's bare ass disappearing down the stairs into his stateroom. He raised his eyebrows and turned to Nick, then hesitated as he took in the fact that Nick was shirtless on a cool day in November, sitting in the corner of the booth with a pair of jeans laying on the floor next to him.
"Um," Murray said cautiously. "Did I, uh, interrupt something?"
Cody came back up the stairs wearing jeans and nothing else, and handed Nick a bathrobe. "Told you we should have told him," he said, just as Nick said, "I thought a mouse ran up my leg. Scary, huh?"
Murray looked from one to the other. "A mouse?" he and Cody said in unison.
"Look, all right. We were gonna tell you. Me and Cody, uh -- "
"We been thinking about another trip to New Orleans," Cody interrupted, shooting Nick a glance. "Whaddaya say, Boz?"
Murray giggled. "I wonder if they have a different class of mouse there?"
"Nice one, man." Nick glared at Cody. "Cody means -- "
"I know what Cody means." Murray waved a hand. "Listen, sit down, Cody. Nick, why don't you put that bathrobe on." Nick and Cody complied slowly as Murray pulled the chair up to the table and sat himself.
Cody slid in close to Nick and pressed their legs together. "Shoulda let me tell him," Nick muttered under his breath.
"Guys, I was just down at police headquarters trying to get a look at the report on that drug bust last week, the one we think our client's involved in? Anyway, I couldn't get the report, and you wanna know why?" He stopped in triumph, looking from one to the other.
"Because Joanna's away and she's left instructions no-one helps Cody Allen or his friends with anything anymore?"
Cody kicked Nick under the table. "I don't think she'd do that, buddy."
"A woman scorned can do anything," Nick said darkly.
"Focus, guys." Murray waved his hands across in front of Nick and Cody's eyes. "The reason I couldn't get the report is because Quinlan's back!"
"Quinlan? But -- we went to his funeral." Cody frowned. "Murray, what?"
"It was all a setup! They used the accident and sent him undercover. He's just made the biggest drug bust that's ever been made in San Francisco."
"Wow." Nick rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm glad the guy's not dead, but it's gonna suck having to fight for information again."
"What about Joanna?" Cody leaned forward. "If Quinlan's back, what's happening with her?"
"You remember she kept talking about being transferred east? She knew, you see. Uh, and Cody?" Murray reddened slightly and shifted in his seat.
"What?"
"The transfer went through in the middle of June. And, uh, she's had this leave booked since then. According to Collins and Brodie, she's spending it in New York with her mom."
"So her grandmother dying right now was real bad luck," Cody said, shaking his head.
Nick's gaze sharpened. "No, Cody. Her grandmother didn't die. In fact, you ask me, she ain't even sick, am I right? It was a scam. A test."
"That's certainly what it looks like, Nick." Murray nodded, looking somber. "She dropped hints all summer about the transfer and about moving east, and Cody avoided the subject."
"But… but why? Why didn't she just tell me she was moving East and would I come?"
"I don't know much about this kind of thing," Murray said, leaning forward and steepling his fingers, "but it seems to me Joanna knew you wouldn't go, Cody. After all, every time she mentioned the idea you changed the subject. As for the story about her grandmother, I think she wanted you to feel guilty."
"Well, it worked." Cody rubbed his face and sat back. "I don't get it, you know? Why wasn't she just upfront about everything?"
"Like you, you mean?" Murray asked, looking from Nick to Cody with a trace of amusement in his eyes.
"I was!" Cody sat up straight. "I never did anything to try and guilt-trip her!"
Nick laid a hand on Cody's shoulder. "Hey, Boz, Cody's not like that. He -- "
"He invents headaches and charters and I don't know what else to come home early, and avoids sharing fears and problems with anyone he's dating. That's what he's like," Murray said firmly. "At least, that's what he was like with Joanna, and with every girl I've seen him date since I've lived aboard."
Cody dropped his shoulders, looking down. He could hardly deny the charge. "Sometimes I need space," he said in a low voice. "I don't like hurting their feelings."
"And how about now? D'you need space now you're with Nick?"
"No, I -- " Cody stopped, staring at Murray.
Nick straightened in his seat, then slid his arm around Cody. "Cody's not like that," he said again, meeting Murray's eyes. "Girls don't always understand where he's coming from, you know? But I do."
"You do, huh?" Murray looked from Nick to Cody and nodded. "And Cody understands where you're coming from, right?"
Nick nodded. "We, uh. We're together, Boz."
Murray grinned happily. "Thank you. I mean, I knew, of course, but I appreciate you telling me." He stood up, still smiling. "It's about time."
Nick and Cody stared as Murray turned and disappeared down the galley stairs. "He knew?" Cody asked.
"What did he mean, it's about time?" Nick countered.
Cody sighed. "I dunno. But maybe we could go downstairs and, uh, check there's no mouse in your bathrobe?"
Nick's eyes kindled. "Great idea. While we're at it, I can practice giving you space."
"Nick!"
Nick kissed Cody hard. "Enough space to get your jeans off," he growled. "Three seconds cover it, you think?"
Cody leaned into him for a moment then jumped up. "Make it one and a half," he said, and bounded for the stairs, Nick close on his heels.
