"Journey's End - Part 2" (Other, 1986)
Sep. 20th, 2014 10:51 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
riptide_asylumTitle: Journey's End
Rating: NC17
Summary: A gay couple hire the Riptide Detective Agency, and make an assumption Nick and Cody are together. But what does 'together' mean, anyhow? Going undercover raises questions -- and answers -- which rock Cody's world. And what does Nick's strange behavior mean?
Part 1
Chapter 5
Mel and Scott's penthouse was decorated in neutrals, the spectacular harbor view taking center stage. Cody and Murray sat with their clients, taking notes, while Nick disappeared downstairs to talk to the parking attendant, the doorman, the janitors and any other staff members he could find.
Midnight the cat, a short-haired black female of no particular breed, had gone missing from the couple's roof garden. Cody carefully inspected the glassed-in fencing around the edges, and the roof vents, but unless the cat had jumped over the railings, there was no way for anything to escape.
"So who can get up here when you're not around?" Cody asked, frowning and turning to Mel.
"I've got a list," Murray said, brandishing his notebook. "I got it from the guys this morning before you and Nick arrived."
Cody nodded, reaching out for the book. "And out of those people, who might want to hurt you?"
"No-one." Mel frowned and shook his head. "We've thought and thought, haven't we, honey? We can't imagine anyone who would do this."
Scott took refuge in tears again, but not before Cody saw a flash of something in his face. Fear, possibly, or guilt, Cody thought, half-turning toward Murray so that he could study Scott more carefully. His emotion seemed real, but that didn't mean he wasn't hiding something.
Cody glanced down the list. Maid, gardener, car valet, laundry service, janitor, doorman, and a private delivery guy. He raised his eyebrows and caught Murray's slow nod. It was a high-end lifestyle all right.
"No friends or family with keys?"
"My mother, but she's in New York." Mel shrugged. "She holds them as a security measure -- if anything happened to us."
"Are you expecting something to happen to you?"
"Not at all. But I'm sure you understand, there can be access difficulties in the case of same sex couples."
Cody nodded slowly. He supposed there were. "Which of you owns this property?"
"Scott does on paper. I own the bar. Of course, in reality, we own everything together."
Cody wondered which of them owned the discreet hotel. "In the meantime, I suggest you check with your mother, just in case her keys have gone missing."
"I did that already. She keeps them in her safety-deposit box."
"What about your own keys?" Murray asked. "Where do you leave them while you're at work? Could anyone get access to them?"
"Only our friends," Scott sobbed, and Mel went to him.
Cody looked at the two of them narrowly, then clapped Murray on the shoulder. "C'mon, Boz, I think we've got enough to get started on, okay? Why don't we go back to the boat and sift through the evidence?"
"I'm not sure we've got enough evidence to sift," Murray said frankly. "Or any evidence, if it comes to that. You told me on the phone you and Nick didn't get anything concrete last night -- "
"Yeah, but we found some leads to follow up," Cody said hastily, and gave Murray a gentle push toward the door. "Let's go find Nick. Mel, Scott, we'll be in touch this evening."
"Thanks, fellas. Will you come to the bar again tonight?"
"I don't know yet." Cody smiled and shrugged. "It will depend what we turn up today. Meantime, stay safe, and if you think of anything else, just give us a call."
"Will you be on the boat, or at the hotel?" This time it was Scott who spoke.
"That depends as well. But if you call the boat, the Roboz will alert us wherever we are." There was no harm in reminding their clients their technology was state of the art, Cody thought. Especially when he didn't entirely trust Scott's motives.
Cody hustled Murray out of the building, shushing him when he would have spoken in the elevator. "But Cody, what about Nick?" Murray asked as they made it to the sidewalk. "He's still in there."
"He sure is, but I want to talk to you, and I don't trust the ears in that building." Cody crossed the street quickly with Murray hurrying at his side, then stopped under a large sign for the beach. "Listen, I think Scott's hiding something. He cries at all the wrong moments. There's something up with him."
Murray frowned. "I thought he was just upset about Midnight."
"And maybe he is. Maybe I've just got a suspicious mind. But humor me here, okay? Let's say someone's got their claws into Scott -- an affair gone wrong, something in his past, maybe a shady business deal -- and it's something he doesn't want Mel to know about. See where I'm coming from?"
"Blackmail." Murray's eyes flashed. "You could be right, Cody. Okay, as soon as we get back to the Riptide, I'm gonna track that guy from the day he was born."
"Why don't you head back now and do that? I'm thinking what we really need to do is get our clients on their own. Most particularly, get Scott on his own."
"That's a boss idea, Cody. Have you got your guns?"
"We sure do, and also our transmitters. You know what, I just might sneak one into that penthouse if I get a chance."
"The Roboz is all set up to receive." Murray nodded soberly and pulled the keys to the 'Vette from his pocket. "Do you think they'll be okay? Mel and Scott, I mean."
"There's no way of knowing that," Cody said gently, and patted Murray's shoulder. "But we have to help them, whatever the outcome… they're not okay like this."
"You're right. Give me a couple of hours, and if there's anything to find, I'll have it." Murray gave another nod, and set off down the street.
*
Nick's survey of the staff yielded CCTV tapes of the night the cat disappeared, and nothing else. Mel and Scott were well-liked, they kept to themselves, there'd been no strange visitors. The penthouse elevator was private, separate, and worked only with a key; the staircase had a one-way door allowing descent only from the penthouse level.
"So the cat grew wings and flew away," Nick said to Cody in exasperation, "and graffitied the bar and vandalized the boat because they gave it day-old sardines, maybe."
"That's one explanation." Cody and Nick were down the block a little way, eating pretzels at a table that gave them a clear view of Mel and Scott's building. "I wanna know what Murray turns up on Scotty, though."
"Yeah. We better get him these tapes, too." Nick kicked the bag by his foot. "Tell me this great plan of yours again?"
"I call Mel and ask him to show me his boat. While we're at the harbor, you go see Scott. Sympathetic ear and all that. See if you can get him to spill his guts."
"One, I don't like that we're splitting up. Two, how'm I gonna get Scott to talk? I'm guessing you don't want me hanging him off the edge of his roof garden, am I right?"
"You're right." Cody sighed. "Well, how d'you want to play it, then?"
Nick leaned close to Cody. "I want to go back to our hotel room and play all afternoon, since you asked." He grinned as Cody blushed scarlet. "But I guess we better earn our keep first. The boat and the bar were damaged. Nothing happened at the condo save the missing cat. What does that say to you?"
Cody frowned, trying to ignore the insistent urge in his groin. "They're both owned by Mel."
"Yup. Scotty owns the condo and the hotel, and nothing happened there."
"Wait, how d'you know Scott owns the hotel?"
"Asked Terrence." Nick gave Cody an unruffled grin. "Business before pleasure, baby."
"If you say so. So what, someone's after Mel?" The communicator in Cody's pocket gave an urgent chirp. He pulled it out, then looked around quickly. "It's Murray, but he can't talk to us on this thing." He held it near his mouth. "Hold on, Boz, we'll have to find a payphone."
There was a phone booth on the corner. Nick fed it a dime while Cody dialled, and Murray's excited tones came through without even giving it time to ring. "Guys! Guys! Cody, you were right. Scott has a private bank account, and he withdraws two thousand on the first of every month."
"Where does it go, Boz?"
"Well, I haven't traced it yet, Nick. In fact, I don't know if I can, as it seems to be cash. This account started out with twenty thousand in it, and he's down to his last five grand."
"Whoever's hitting him knows the money's running out. That's why they've upped the stakes." Nick rapped his knuckles on the side of the booth.
"But it's Mel's stuff."
"They're sending him a message, Cody. 'If you don't pay, your boyfriend gets it.'"
"I guess. So what do we do now?"
"Easy. We do it like you planned. Cody, you call Mel and get him out of the way. Murray, you meet me outside the penthouse in half an hour, okay? We'll see if we can persuade Scotty that confession's good for the soul."
"Sure thing, Nick." Murray hesitated. "One more thing. I checked out the King Harbor pound records. They have a stray black cat, female, dumped last week. She's going to be euthanased tomorrow if she's not claimed."
"Could be Midnight." Cody snapped his fingers. "Perfect. After Mel's shown me his boat, we'll stop by the pound on the way back."
"Good work, Boz. See you in a half hour." Nick cut the connection and slapped Cody on the shoulder. "Time to shake down Scott."
Chapter 6
It was a sordid little story. Scott, confronted with the evidence, burst into tears again, and sobbed out his confession on Nick's shoulder.
By the time Cody and Mel returned, Nick's shirt was wet, Scott was well into an orgy of remorse worthy of Helen Howell''s finest performance, and Murray was struggling, with the aid of his laptop computer, his slide rule and a complicated-looking diagram, to make sense of what Scott had told them.
"It's all my fault!" Scott howled, and flung himself on Mel's chest. "And now Midnight's gone, and we'll never find her!"
"We found her already." Cody put down the cat carrier, rubbing lightly at his scratched wrist. "Terrence dumped her at the pound." There was a soft yowl from inside.
"Terrence?" Scott swung around, with wide eyes. "What does he have to do with it?"
"I was hoping you could tell me that." Mel touched his partner's back gently. "It's time for the truth, Scott."
Nick gestured to Cody and Murray, and the three of them slipped unobtrusively out of the penthouse. "So much for cameras and bugs," he said tiredly, rubbing his neck. "They come to you with a mystery, but the only mystery is why they can't keep it in their pants."
"Scott was having an affair?"
"Scott wasn't so much having an affair," Murray said, flushing, "as… well, sleeping around. I don't think there's any other way of putting it. Clients, the bar staff, the pool boy, the special delivery guy… I just don't understand how he found the time."
Cody nodded slowly. "He took them to the hotel, and Terrence figured he could get a piece of the action and started blackmailing him."
"Got it in one. Except he didn't know it was Terrence, not until you came back with the cat." Nick led the way out of the elevator. "So now he's lost all the cash his grandmother's second cousin's aunt left him, his boyfriend knows anyhow, and he may as well have been upfront in the first place."
"Or just left his boyfriend," Murray said disapprovingly. "I mean, he can't be happy with Mel if that's his idea of -- of recreation!"
"He says he loves Mel." Nick shrugged. "I don't know. It's not what I call love, I guess, but maybe I'm behind the times."
Cody took a deep breath. Not for the first time, he wished he knew exactly what Nick did call love, and whether there was any chance of snagging some of it for himself. They walked out of the hotel into the fresh air, and Cody stopped, taking a second deep breath. "I just have one question."
"What's that?"
"What does Scott's grandmother's cousin's aunt-in-waiting have to do with anything?"
The tense look left Nick's eyes and he bumped his shoulder against Cody's. Murray started a long-winded explanation about estates and wills and aunts-by-marriage, but Cody exchanged a grin with Nick and headed for the Jimmy. All in all, maiden aunts were easier to think about than monogamy.
*
The Riptide was a welcome sight, even if Cody found himself in the aft stateroom, mentally calculating the space requirements for a double bed. Or maybe even a queen.
Giving himself a shake, he marched topside, thinking of the light comforter in the hotel and wondering if the budget would at least run to one of those -- and found Nick lounging on the bow chatting to Bambi, who'd broken out her best and skimpiest white see-through bikini for the occasion.
Cody stared at the girl's full breasts, her long dark hair, the way she cocked her hip. Nick's smile was warm, attentive, appreciative. His eyes were all over her, hungry, with no hint of the softness Cody had seen last night.
We're good friends and we have a good time, Cody told himself numbly, turned and went below again. It was only damn stupid to break his heart over what was missing, when he had so much already.
The twin bunks in the stateroom mocked him, and he dropped to his own wearily. Having you all to myself. An impossible dream, awakened by Nick's out-of-character behavior the previous night. Feeling sick, he wondered if Nick would bring Bambi aboard, if he'd have to spend the night in Straightaway's cheapest room, pretending interest in whichever of Bambi's crewmates came along to 'double date'.
Cody rolled over, laying his head on his folded arms. After last night, he didn't know if he could do it. "Tell her you're busy, Nick. Tell her you've got a hot date. Hell, tell her you're washing your hair. Just let me have tonight, okay? Just one more night."
The bed moved and Cody caught his breath. He'd spoken aloud but not distinctly -- there was every chance Nick had misheard him. Frantically trying to think of a reason for speaking to an empty cabin, he started as though awakening from a doze. "Nick?"
Two strong hands slid under his shirt, up his naked back. "I am not," Nick said gently, "dating Bambi tonight. Or Honor, or Kirsty, or any other member of the Contessa crew." He paused. "Not Bella, either."
Cody shuddered. He was caught, fair and square. "I'm just on edge," he managed feebly. "After everything."
"Well, sure." Nick kept rubbing his back. "You know you coulda told me, right? 'Hey Nick, spend tonight with me.' Easy, huh?"
Cody shuddered again. Hey Nick, spend tonight with me. Words he'd never dare to let pass his lips. "I'll tell you next time," he lied, and rolled over.
Nick was looking down at him, expression confused and a little hurt. "I thought we oughtta go back to that bar tonight," he said carefully. "See Mel, maybe wrap this up. It seemed to me it might be easier for him that way, instead of an appointment."
"You're right. He's not gonna want an appointment, whatever he and Scott have decided about the future."
Nick nodded and stood up. "Think I'm gonna wash my hair."
Cody sat up, watching as he walked out of the room. "Nick…"
Nick paused in the doorway and looked back. "All you have to do is ask, Cody. You know? All you ever have to do is ask."
Chapter 7
They walked into the Golden Horn a little after nine. It was early, and the previous night's crowd had not yet arrived. Two pretty young men were behind the bar, serving a couple of patrons nearby, and several of the booths were occupied.
The dance floor was dark, and a jukebox played PCH's greatest hits.
"Maybe he's not here," Cody muttered. "He's had a tough day."
"He's a businessman." Nick shrugged. "He'll be here, trust me."
A moment later, Mel came out of the back room and went behind the bar.
"Told you." Nick bumped his shoulder against Cody's and led the way.
Mel frowned when he saw them, then summoned a tired smile. "Hey, boys. Glad you came in. I wish -- " He stopped and shrugged. "Hell, I wish my lover wasn't an asshole, and if I can't have that, I wish he could've at least been a truthful asshole."
"Wishes are great things, man. I been makin' 'em forever, and they haven't done me any good yet." Nick ran a hand through his hair.
"Sure they have. You got a beautiful boat, you got plenty of smarts, you got the guts to run an out-and-proud detective agency right here in L.A." Mel shook his head. "You got this beautiful guy, who anyone with eyes can see is head over ears in love with you. He's not screwing around behind your back."
Nick looked at Cody, then back at Mel. "We're more low-key rather than out-and-proud."
Mel waved a hand. "Whatever. You got the job done, anyhow. Stupid thing is, I knew all along. I knew when we got together Scott wasn't a one-man kind of guy. I just -- hell, I just figured I'd take what he could give me. And you know what? Until right now, until he twisted himself up in knots over what he figured I wanted, it worked just fine."
"It's gonna work fine again, now you have everything out in the open." Cody leaned forward. "That's what you want, right?"
"Of course it's what I want. That and Terrence on a spit roast, but I'll take what I can get. Terrence has cleared out, you know -- I went by this afternoon to fire his sorry ass, and he's just gone."
"Are you going to press charges?"
"No, Nick." Mel shook his head slowly. "The cost, the embarrassment -- it's not worth it. I've put the word out, and he'll struggle to find a hospitality job in the trade… it's enough. Meanwhile, we're putting that building on the market, and the yacht too. Consolidating. Concentrating on what's important."
"Good luck," Cody said, and held out his hand. "If you ever want Terrence found -- "
"The further he is from us, the better I'll be pleased." Mel shook Cody's hand, then Nick's. "This is a mess, but you boys -- you were quick, you were clean, and you let me have it straight. That means a lot."
"That's how we work, Mel. The only way to work."
"I appreciate it, and I'll remember it. I left your cash in your room across the road with something to say thank you. The kid on the desk's more used to bar service, but he should be able to find your key all right."
"We were gonna go home," Cody said in surprise. "After all, we finished the case -- "
"Enjoy it. Go." Mel waved a hand. "Some soulless asshole is gonna buy that block, raze it down and put in a car dealership. While it stands, make use of it."
"We will," Nick said, before Cody could speak. "Thanks."
"Life's too short to dick around. I found my guy, I'm gonna make it work. He's an asshole, big deal. The world's round and Reagan's gonna live forever." Mel paused. "Take care of each other. When it comes right down to it, that's all that matters."
"You're right," Nick said, and put an arm around Cody. "Thanks, Mel. Anytime you need us, you just give us a call, all right?"
*
There were pristine white sheets on the bed, fluffy fresh towels on the rack, and Cody's white pants, freshly laundered, were folded on the back of the couch. New candies graced the pillows, and on the table in the entryway sat a fat envelope and a bottle of champagne.
Nick kicked off his shoes, and picked up the envelope. "He paid us double."
"Kind of him." Cody prowled around the room, pausing at the window to look down at the entrance to the Golden Horn. "Mel's a good guy. I feel bad for him."
"He loves Scott, an' Scott says he loves him. They're gonna make it work."
"I hope so." Cody jumped as a cork popped behind him, and turned to find Nick pouring champagne into two glasses. "Are we celebrating?"
"Winding down. It'd be a shame to waste it."
"Guess you're right." Cody took his glass, then followed Nick to the couch. He felt off-balance and restless, unsatisfied by the outcome of the case. The huge, luxurious room felt claustrophobic, full of the previous night's unanswered questions.
Cody wanted the answers, wanted them desperately, but he didn't know if he was prepared to pay the price. He sipped his wine, looking away from Nick, thinking of Mel and what Mel had settled for.
Nick reached out for him, rubbing his shoulder gently. "What is it?"
Cody sighed, noticing for the first time that he'd sat down nearly a foot away from Nick. He moved a little closer. It was unusual for them to be together without touching. "Is there any such thing as true love? The kind where you live happily ever after?"
Nick looked at him for a long moment then shifted into the corner of the couch and pulled his knees up. His bare feet rested against Cody's thigh. "I don't even know what happy ever after means, man. All I got for you is one day at a time."
Cody took refuge in another mouthful of wine. For you. "But do you ever think about forever?"
"You know me, Cody. I'm more interested in here and now."
"Is that enough, though?" Cody drained his glass and set it down on the low table in front of the couch. "I don't know how the future looks, Nick, and that's a little scary. In ten years, are we still gonna have an agency? Are we still gonna have each other?"
"No-one's invented a working crystal ball yet, babe. Not even Murray. That's why I prefer the here and now, you know? At least you know what you've got."
"Yeah, but do you? Mel thought he had it made, and his boyfriend's been making out with half of L.A."
"I don't know, Cody. Do I? Are you trying to tell me something here, huh?" Nick stared at Cody, a hint of a challenge in his eyes.
I love you. I wanna spend forever with you. I want to know how you feel about me. "No." Cody looked away. "I guess you're right. There's a lot to be said for here and now, especially when it's a five star hotel room." He got up abruptly, picked up his glass and went back to the bottle on the table.
"Hey." Nick took bottle and glass out of his hands before he'd even started refilling. "This is going pear-shaped, and I don't even know why. C'mon, big guy. What's eating you?"
Cody stared into the baffled concern in Nick's eyes. The eyes he loved more than anything in the world. Eyes which roved from girl to girl, and settled occasionally on Cody's ass. It wasn't enough.
Cody turned away abruptly and strode across the room, stopping at the window. He stared down at the neon sign for the Golden Horn, heart pounding. It wasn't enough, but he couldn't quit. Just like Mel, he'd take what he could and to hell with the rest.
The thought sickened him.
"Stop this." Nick spoke from just behind him, and laid a hand on his shoulder. Firm, no-bullshit Nick, his tone and his touch telling Cody clearly that the time for dramatics was over.
Cody didn't resist as Nick marched him back to the couch and sat him down.
"I was scared of this case," Nick said without preamble, perching on the couch next to Cody.
Cody sighed. "I know," he said. "I -- "
"Hush. I asked you to talk, you wouldn't, so I'm talking now, all right?"
Cody closed his mouth and nodded.
"I was scared of this case because I figured you'd freak out. Acting gay in public, going to a gay bar, all that stuff -- I know it's been tough on you, okay? And I'm sorry I left you alone in there, I'm sorry that guy came and tried to pick you up while I wasn't there." Nick stopped, searching Cody's eyes. "And I'm sorry about what happened in the alley, too. I was just -- hell, I was being selfish. You were so damn hot, and it felt so good, you felt so good. I should've realized it was too much for you to handle."
"Wait -- " Cody reached out to Nick, completely off-balance. Whatever he'd expected from his partner, it wasn't this. "Nick, I'm not freaked out. That's not it."
"Yeah? You coulda fooled me." Nick looked down at Cody's hand on his thigh, at the distance between them on the couch. "Listen, I been out of line since we took this case, and I know it, all right? I know it, and I'm sorry. Pretending you were mine kinda went to my head, you know? But it's not gonna happen again, big guy."
Cody sat in silence, stunned by Nick's revelation. Pretending you were mine. His mind played on the previous night, on Nick's words, Nick's actions. Feels so real.
"Hey." Nick touched Cody's hand lightly. "I promise, okay? Give me something here, man. What can I do to fix this? You want me to take you home?"
"No," Cody managed, forcing the word past a tightness in his throat. Nick wanted him. Nick cared for him. Or was that just his own desperation, his own need, hearing more in Nick's words than Nick was saying? He looked into Nick's eyes, trying to divine Nick's true meaning.
"Cody…" Nick's voice cracked. "Please, man. Don't shut down on me."
"I'm not," Cody said. His voice came easier, but it sounded strange in his own ears. "I told you, I'm not freaking out."
"You're not talking to me, you're upset -- "
"I'm in love with you."
"You're -- what?" Nick stopped, staring at Cody as though he'd just grown two heads. "What did you say?"
"I said, I'm in love with you." Cody breathed deep, the tightness in his throat disappearing along with the weight on his shoulders. "I thought you and I… I thought for you it was just sex. I thought you'd rather have Bambi."
Nick exhaled shakily. "No," he said simply, and laid a hand on Cody's cheek. "You're crying."
Cody blinked, realizing it was true. "Last night was so good," he whispered. "It felt real… it felt like you wanted me for real."
Nick's hand slid to the back of Cody's head, and pulled him in for a long, deep kiss. Cody surrendered to the heat in Nick's mouth, his hands going to Nick's ribs, holding on as he allowed himself to feel, really feel, what Nick was telling him.
It was there in Nick's kiss, strong, all-consuming. It always had been; Cody realized that suddenly, wondered how he'd missed it, how he'd ever doubted their connection. It flashed through his mind that it was no wonder he could never resist Nick's kiss: how could he, when Nick's heart and soul came with it?
"I've been in love with you since the first day I set eyes on you," Nick whispered in his ear. "I never wanted anyone like I wanted you. I've never cared for anyone like I care for you."
Cody breathed deep, pulling back a little so he could look into Nick's eyes. "You said it didn't make us gay. You said you still liked girls. You said we were just two good friends helping each other out…"
"I was twenty years old, and I thought our life expectancy was a half-hour." Nick blinked and took a deep breath. "Cody Allen, I'm gay. I don't like girls. I don't wanna be your good friend, and I don't wanna help you out. I want to be your lover, and I want to make love with you all night long. For the rest of our lives."
"For real?" Cody's heart swelled. For the rest of our lives.
"For real." Nick pulled Cody close against him, then kissed him so hard, so deep, so filled with passion, that Cody felt like he was on fire. It was impossible to match Nick's heat, or so Cody thought until Nick pulled back, panting.
"You'll burn me up, kissing me like that." Nick's eyes blazed into Cody's, hot with lust. "Need you so bad."
Cody didn't even try and speak. He doubted his own ability to form words. He grabbed at Nick's shirt, and Nick caught his hand.
"Bed. C'mon."
Cody didn't need telling twice.
Chapter 8
"Remodelling the stateroom's easy," Cody said, stretching against Nick's body. "It's getting the mattress in that'll be tough."
"Huh?" Nick rolled over, yawning.
Smiling, Cody traced his fingers through Nick's chest hair. "Were you asleep?"
"Maybe." Nick smiled back, sliding closer. "Guess you wore me out."
"I sure tried." Cody stretched again. His limbs felt heavy, his body still thrummed with the pleasure of their love-making. They were always good together, but this time, the added thrill of whispered words of love, of need -- their new security in each other -- had added an extra dimension. "Felt so good."
"Yeah," Nick murmured, his arms going around Cody. "You sure do."
Cody moaned softly, rolling forward against Nick's shoulder. Nick's hands slid over his back, rubbing gently, then down to his ass. Impossibly, Cody's spent cock woke, twitching between them.
Nick chuckled, rolling onto his back and shifting Cody to lay on top of him. "Down, boy."
Cody took a quick kiss. "I'm done," he murmured. "Whatever's going on down there, it's without my knowledge or permission."
Nick squeezed Cody's ass, then his fingers strayed, seeking out Cody's hole.
Cody moaned again, letting his head drop to Nick's shoulder. His asshole was slick with come and lube, and spent though he was, Nick's stroking fingers felt amazing. "Are you trying to kill me?"
"Here I thought it was the other way around." Nick gave Cody's ass a final squeeze, then went back to rubbing his shoulders. "So let me get this straight, guy. All these years of screwing around with girls, all those times you wouldn't let me touch you in public… what was that? You were scared of what the neighbors thought?"
Cody pulled out of Nick's arms and sat up, scooting back against the headboard and drawing his knees up. He didn't really want to have this conversation -- the only feeling he felt like talking about was how much he loved Nick and how he never planned to stop -- but he also knew it was inevitable. Nick needed the cards on the table. If it came right down to it, Cody wanted the same.
"You always told me no-one could know." Cody deliberately didn't look at Nick. "You get upset if you think people suspect. You get angry, and you go pick up a waitress or a tourist."
"I'm scared if people know, there'll be repercussions." Nick raised himself on his elbow. "You want it straight, I'm absolutely fucking terrified that one day you'll go out, buy groceries, take a walk, I don't even know, and there'll be some lunatics with baseball bats and -- "
"No. Hey, no." Cody dropped his knees, sitting forward and reaching for Nick. "Won't happen. Not in King Harbor. And no-one knows. No-one ever needs to know."
Nick nodded, lips pressed together. He closed his eyes.
"I never knew you thought like that." Cody moved back against the headboard, pulling Nick with him. "I thought you couldn't bear people thinking you were gay."
"People can think I'm a purple alien with four heads who fucks donkeys," Nick muttered gruffly. "I don't care, if it makes 'em happy. But if they wanna hurt you because of me -- "
"No. Stop. C'mon." Cody kissed Nick's hair. "Just you'n me, here, okay?"
Nick nodded against Cody's shoulder, then raised his head. "I'll do anything it takes to keep you safe," he said tightly.
Cody nodded. He'd always known that, right from his first day in Pitbull's unit when Nick had risked his own life to pull Cody, green and terrified, into the safety of a fox-hole. "That goes both ways, buddy."
"I know." Nick breathed deep and leaned back against the headboard, his shoulder resting against Cody's, and fell silent.
"You never let me talk about us," Cody said tentatively. "Or the future. Anytime I tried, you went out, got drunk and picked up some chick. I thought you'd leave me if you guessed I cared."
"I never -- you thought -- " Nick sat forward again, and shot a glance at Cody. "I'm an idiot," he said flatly.
"Well, yeah." Cody rested his hand on Nick's back and rubbed gently. "I've known that since '72. Still not news. What's it got to do with… with what we do in bed?"
Nick scrubbed his hands over his face. "You remember Peggy?" he said in a low voice.
Cody's stomach twisted. "I could hardly forget."
"The night I met her, I thought you were trying to tell me you wanted us to stop."
"What?" Cody wracked his brains. He remembered the night at Straightaway's, a close, hot night at the end of a tough case. He'd been exhausted, worn down, and all he'd wanted was to go back to the Riptide and sleep. In Nick's arms, ideally. "You insisted we went out celebrating. I wanted to go to bed."
"Hey, Nick, I've been thinking. You ever think we're getting too close? Like maybe we oughtta do something else for a while?"
Cody froze. He'd been standing in the salon, aching all over from tackling a crook. Nick had come up behind him, put his arms around him. He'd said those words, then Nick had pulled away and started talking about Straightaway's. "I was talking about the detective business," Cody said, forcing the words past a throat which had become suddenly too tight. "I didn't mean us."
"I thought you did." Nick shot him a hunted glance. "I couldn't tell you no… couldn't risk losing you completely."
"So instead, Straightaway's and Peggy." Cody swallowed the lump in his throat. "Nick, I'm so sorry. I thought you wanted a wife and kids. I thought she was it for you. And then with everything…"
"So listen." Nick twisted around to look Cody full in the face. "This is how it is for me. I gotta date girls now and then to keep you safe." He took a deep breath. "To keep us safe. But none of those girls ever got close, you know? I tried, a time or two, when I thought it was over with us. I tried if I could feel something, maybe be happy. But there's no-one else for me, Cody, only you."
"It's the same for me." Cody scooted forward, sliding his arms around Nick. "Nick, if you want me, if you really, honestly want me -- "
"I want you, all right." Nick pulled Cody down to the bed and kissed him, hungry, hard, possessive.
It took Cody's breath away. "Nick!" He knew Nick had a jealous streak, he'd seen it before, but more usually directed at girls, not at him.
"No more girls," Nick said, low in his ear. "Dates, sure, but you're coming home with me. And if Janet ever shows up again, I'm gonna kiss you in front of her for the whole damn world to see. Be sure, Cody. If you're mine, you're all mine, no going back."
All mine, no going back. Cody felt light-headed. Nick wanted him. Really wanted him. "You really are an idiot," he whispered, heart pounding. "I've always been yours."
Nick rolled on top of him, sliding between his legs. "Even when we go home?"
Cody drew up his knees, pressing his groin against Nick's, running his hands down Nick's back. "Especially then. Always, Nick. Always."
Nick kissed him again, just as hard, just as true. "Get some sleep," he murmured. "You're gonna need your strength tomorrow."
"For remodeling?" Cody pressed a kiss against Nick's neck, a grin making itself at home on his face.
"And other things." He heard the answering grin in Nick's voice, then Nick moved and the light clicked off.
"Love you, Nick." Even though he knew the words were allowed, welcomed, Cody couldn't help the hitch in his voice, the flutter in his heart as he said them out loud. He waited, almost holding his breath, and Nick didn't disappoint him.
"Love you too, Cody. For always."
Rating: NC17
Summary: A gay couple hire the Riptide Detective Agency, and make an assumption Nick and Cody are together. But what does 'together' mean, anyhow? Going undercover raises questions -- and answers -- which rock Cody's world. And what does Nick's strange behavior mean?
Part 1
Chapter 5
Mel and Scott's penthouse was decorated in neutrals, the spectacular harbor view taking center stage. Cody and Murray sat with their clients, taking notes, while Nick disappeared downstairs to talk to the parking attendant, the doorman, the janitors and any other staff members he could find.
Midnight the cat, a short-haired black female of no particular breed, had gone missing from the couple's roof garden. Cody carefully inspected the glassed-in fencing around the edges, and the roof vents, but unless the cat had jumped over the railings, there was no way for anything to escape.
"So who can get up here when you're not around?" Cody asked, frowning and turning to Mel.
"I've got a list," Murray said, brandishing his notebook. "I got it from the guys this morning before you and Nick arrived."
Cody nodded, reaching out for the book. "And out of those people, who might want to hurt you?"
"No-one." Mel frowned and shook his head. "We've thought and thought, haven't we, honey? We can't imagine anyone who would do this."
Scott took refuge in tears again, but not before Cody saw a flash of something in his face. Fear, possibly, or guilt, Cody thought, half-turning toward Murray so that he could study Scott more carefully. His emotion seemed real, but that didn't mean he wasn't hiding something.
Cody glanced down the list. Maid, gardener, car valet, laundry service, janitor, doorman, and a private delivery guy. He raised his eyebrows and caught Murray's slow nod. It was a high-end lifestyle all right.
"No friends or family with keys?"
"My mother, but she's in New York." Mel shrugged. "She holds them as a security measure -- if anything happened to us."
"Are you expecting something to happen to you?"
"Not at all. But I'm sure you understand, there can be access difficulties in the case of same sex couples."
Cody nodded slowly. He supposed there were. "Which of you owns this property?"
"Scott does on paper. I own the bar. Of course, in reality, we own everything together."
Cody wondered which of them owned the discreet hotel. "In the meantime, I suggest you check with your mother, just in case her keys have gone missing."
"I did that already. She keeps them in her safety-deposit box."
"What about your own keys?" Murray asked. "Where do you leave them while you're at work? Could anyone get access to them?"
"Only our friends," Scott sobbed, and Mel went to him.
Cody looked at the two of them narrowly, then clapped Murray on the shoulder. "C'mon, Boz, I think we've got enough to get started on, okay? Why don't we go back to the boat and sift through the evidence?"
"I'm not sure we've got enough evidence to sift," Murray said frankly. "Or any evidence, if it comes to that. You told me on the phone you and Nick didn't get anything concrete last night -- "
"Yeah, but we found some leads to follow up," Cody said hastily, and gave Murray a gentle push toward the door. "Let's go find Nick. Mel, Scott, we'll be in touch this evening."
"Thanks, fellas. Will you come to the bar again tonight?"
"I don't know yet." Cody smiled and shrugged. "It will depend what we turn up today. Meantime, stay safe, and if you think of anything else, just give us a call."
"Will you be on the boat, or at the hotel?" This time it was Scott who spoke.
"That depends as well. But if you call the boat, the Roboz will alert us wherever we are." There was no harm in reminding their clients their technology was state of the art, Cody thought. Especially when he didn't entirely trust Scott's motives.
Cody hustled Murray out of the building, shushing him when he would have spoken in the elevator. "But Cody, what about Nick?" Murray asked as they made it to the sidewalk. "He's still in there."
"He sure is, but I want to talk to you, and I don't trust the ears in that building." Cody crossed the street quickly with Murray hurrying at his side, then stopped under a large sign for the beach. "Listen, I think Scott's hiding something. He cries at all the wrong moments. There's something up with him."
Murray frowned. "I thought he was just upset about Midnight."
"And maybe he is. Maybe I've just got a suspicious mind. But humor me here, okay? Let's say someone's got their claws into Scott -- an affair gone wrong, something in his past, maybe a shady business deal -- and it's something he doesn't want Mel to know about. See where I'm coming from?"
"Blackmail." Murray's eyes flashed. "You could be right, Cody. Okay, as soon as we get back to the Riptide, I'm gonna track that guy from the day he was born."
"Why don't you head back now and do that? I'm thinking what we really need to do is get our clients on their own. Most particularly, get Scott on his own."
"That's a boss idea, Cody. Have you got your guns?"
"We sure do, and also our transmitters. You know what, I just might sneak one into that penthouse if I get a chance."
"The Roboz is all set up to receive." Murray nodded soberly and pulled the keys to the 'Vette from his pocket. "Do you think they'll be okay? Mel and Scott, I mean."
"There's no way of knowing that," Cody said gently, and patted Murray's shoulder. "But we have to help them, whatever the outcome… they're not okay like this."
"You're right. Give me a couple of hours, and if there's anything to find, I'll have it." Murray gave another nod, and set off down the street.
*
Nick's survey of the staff yielded CCTV tapes of the night the cat disappeared, and nothing else. Mel and Scott were well-liked, they kept to themselves, there'd been no strange visitors. The penthouse elevator was private, separate, and worked only with a key; the staircase had a one-way door allowing descent only from the penthouse level.
"So the cat grew wings and flew away," Nick said to Cody in exasperation, "and graffitied the bar and vandalized the boat because they gave it day-old sardines, maybe."
"That's one explanation." Cody and Nick were down the block a little way, eating pretzels at a table that gave them a clear view of Mel and Scott's building. "I wanna know what Murray turns up on Scotty, though."
"Yeah. We better get him these tapes, too." Nick kicked the bag by his foot. "Tell me this great plan of yours again?"
"I call Mel and ask him to show me his boat. While we're at the harbor, you go see Scott. Sympathetic ear and all that. See if you can get him to spill his guts."
"One, I don't like that we're splitting up. Two, how'm I gonna get Scott to talk? I'm guessing you don't want me hanging him off the edge of his roof garden, am I right?"
"You're right." Cody sighed. "Well, how d'you want to play it, then?"
Nick leaned close to Cody. "I want to go back to our hotel room and play all afternoon, since you asked." He grinned as Cody blushed scarlet. "But I guess we better earn our keep first. The boat and the bar were damaged. Nothing happened at the condo save the missing cat. What does that say to you?"
Cody frowned, trying to ignore the insistent urge in his groin. "They're both owned by Mel."
"Yup. Scotty owns the condo and the hotel, and nothing happened there."
"Wait, how d'you know Scott owns the hotel?"
"Asked Terrence." Nick gave Cody an unruffled grin. "Business before pleasure, baby."
"If you say so. So what, someone's after Mel?" The communicator in Cody's pocket gave an urgent chirp. He pulled it out, then looked around quickly. "It's Murray, but he can't talk to us on this thing." He held it near his mouth. "Hold on, Boz, we'll have to find a payphone."
There was a phone booth on the corner. Nick fed it a dime while Cody dialled, and Murray's excited tones came through without even giving it time to ring. "Guys! Guys! Cody, you were right. Scott has a private bank account, and he withdraws two thousand on the first of every month."
"Where does it go, Boz?"
"Well, I haven't traced it yet, Nick. In fact, I don't know if I can, as it seems to be cash. This account started out with twenty thousand in it, and he's down to his last five grand."
"Whoever's hitting him knows the money's running out. That's why they've upped the stakes." Nick rapped his knuckles on the side of the booth.
"But it's Mel's stuff."
"They're sending him a message, Cody. 'If you don't pay, your boyfriend gets it.'"
"I guess. So what do we do now?"
"Easy. We do it like you planned. Cody, you call Mel and get him out of the way. Murray, you meet me outside the penthouse in half an hour, okay? We'll see if we can persuade Scotty that confession's good for the soul."
"Sure thing, Nick." Murray hesitated. "One more thing. I checked out the King Harbor pound records. They have a stray black cat, female, dumped last week. She's going to be euthanased tomorrow if she's not claimed."
"Could be Midnight." Cody snapped his fingers. "Perfect. After Mel's shown me his boat, we'll stop by the pound on the way back."
"Good work, Boz. See you in a half hour." Nick cut the connection and slapped Cody on the shoulder. "Time to shake down Scott."
Chapter 6
It was a sordid little story. Scott, confronted with the evidence, burst into tears again, and sobbed out his confession on Nick's shoulder.
By the time Cody and Mel returned, Nick's shirt was wet, Scott was well into an orgy of remorse worthy of Helen Howell''s finest performance, and Murray was struggling, with the aid of his laptop computer, his slide rule and a complicated-looking diagram, to make sense of what Scott had told them.
"It's all my fault!" Scott howled, and flung himself on Mel's chest. "And now Midnight's gone, and we'll never find her!"
"We found her already." Cody put down the cat carrier, rubbing lightly at his scratched wrist. "Terrence dumped her at the pound." There was a soft yowl from inside.
"Terrence?" Scott swung around, with wide eyes. "What does he have to do with it?"
"I was hoping you could tell me that." Mel touched his partner's back gently. "It's time for the truth, Scott."
Nick gestured to Cody and Murray, and the three of them slipped unobtrusively out of the penthouse. "So much for cameras and bugs," he said tiredly, rubbing his neck. "They come to you with a mystery, but the only mystery is why they can't keep it in their pants."
"Scott was having an affair?"
"Scott wasn't so much having an affair," Murray said, flushing, "as… well, sleeping around. I don't think there's any other way of putting it. Clients, the bar staff, the pool boy, the special delivery guy… I just don't understand how he found the time."
Cody nodded slowly. "He took them to the hotel, and Terrence figured he could get a piece of the action and started blackmailing him."
"Got it in one. Except he didn't know it was Terrence, not until you came back with the cat." Nick led the way out of the elevator. "So now he's lost all the cash his grandmother's second cousin's aunt left him, his boyfriend knows anyhow, and he may as well have been upfront in the first place."
"Or just left his boyfriend," Murray said disapprovingly. "I mean, he can't be happy with Mel if that's his idea of -- of recreation!"
"He says he loves Mel." Nick shrugged. "I don't know. It's not what I call love, I guess, but maybe I'm behind the times."
Cody took a deep breath. Not for the first time, he wished he knew exactly what Nick did call love, and whether there was any chance of snagging some of it for himself. They walked out of the hotel into the fresh air, and Cody stopped, taking a second deep breath. "I just have one question."
"What's that?"
"What does Scott's grandmother's cousin's aunt-in-waiting have to do with anything?"
The tense look left Nick's eyes and he bumped his shoulder against Cody's. Murray started a long-winded explanation about estates and wills and aunts-by-marriage, but Cody exchanged a grin with Nick and headed for the Jimmy. All in all, maiden aunts were easier to think about than monogamy.
*
The Riptide was a welcome sight, even if Cody found himself in the aft stateroom, mentally calculating the space requirements for a double bed. Or maybe even a queen.
Giving himself a shake, he marched topside, thinking of the light comforter in the hotel and wondering if the budget would at least run to one of those -- and found Nick lounging on the bow chatting to Bambi, who'd broken out her best and skimpiest white see-through bikini for the occasion.
Cody stared at the girl's full breasts, her long dark hair, the way she cocked her hip. Nick's smile was warm, attentive, appreciative. His eyes were all over her, hungry, with no hint of the softness Cody had seen last night.
We're good friends and we have a good time, Cody told himself numbly, turned and went below again. It was only damn stupid to break his heart over what was missing, when he had so much already.
The twin bunks in the stateroom mocked him, and he dropped to his own wearily. Having you all to myself. An impossible dream, awakened by Nick's out-of-character behavior the previous night. Feeling sick, he wondered if Nick would bring Bambi aboard, if he'd have to spend the night in Straightaway's cheapest room, pretending interest in whichever of Bambi's crewmates came along to 'double date'.
Cody rolled over, laying his head on his folded arms. After last night, he didn't know if he could do it. "Tell her you're busy, Nick. Tell her you've got a hot date. Hell, tell her you're washing your hair. Just let me have tonight, okay? Just one more night."
The bed moved and Cody caught his breath. He'd spoken aloud but not distinctly -- there was every chance Nick had misheard him. Frantically trying to think of a reason for speaking to an empty cabin, he started as though awakening from a doze. "Nick?"
Two strong hands slid under his shirt, up his naked back. "I am not," Nick said gently, "dating Bambi tonight. Or Honor, or Kirsty, or any other member of the Contessa crew." He paused. "Not Bella, either."
Cody shuddered. He was caught, fair and square. "I'm just on edge," he managed feebly. "After everything."
"Well, sure." Nick kept rubbing his back. "You know you coulda told me, right? 'Hey Nick, spend tonight with me.' Easy, huh?"
Cody shuddered again. Hey Nick, spend tonight with me. Words he'd never dare to let pass his lips. "I'll tell you next time," he lied, and rolled over.
Nick was looking down at him, expression confused and a little hurt. "I thought we oughtta go back to that bar tonight," he said carefully. "See Mel, maybe wrap this up. It seemed to me it might be easier for him that way, instead of an appointment."
"You're right. He's not gonna want an appointment, whatever he and Scott have decided about the future."
Nick nodded and stood up. "Think I'm gonna wash my hair."
Cody sat up, watching as he walked out of the room. "Nick…"
Nick paused in the doorway and looked back. "All you have to do is ask, Cody. You know? All you ever have to do is ask."
Chapter 7
They walked into the Golden Horn a little after nine. It was early, and the previous night's crowd had not yet arrived. Two pretty young men were behind the bar, serving a couple of patrons nearby, and several of the booths were occupied.
The dance floor was dark, and a jukebox played PCH's greatest hits.
"Maybe he's not here," Cody muttered. "He's had a tough day."
"He's a businessman." Nick shrugged. "He'll be here, trust me."
A moment later, Mel came out of the back room and went behind the bar.
"Told you." Nick bumped his shoulder against Cody's and led the way.
Mel frowned when he saw them, then summoned a tired smile. "Hey, boys. Glad you came in. I wish -- " He stopped and shrugged. "Hell, I wish my lover wasn't an asshole, and if I can't have that, I wish he could've at least been a truthful asshole."
"Wishes are great things, man. I been makin' 'em forever, and they haven't done me any good yet." Nick ran a hand through his hair.
"Sure they have. You got a beautiful boat, you got plenty of smarts, you got the guts to run an out-and-proud detective agency right here in L.A." Mel shook his head. "You got this beautiful guy, who anyone with eyes can see is head over ears in love with you. He's not screwing around behind your back."
Nick looked at Cody, then back at Mel. "We're more low-key rather than out-and-proud."
Mel waved a hand. "Whatever. You got the job done, anyhow. Stupid thing is, I knew all along. I knew when we got together Scott wasn't a one-man kind of guy. I just -- hell, I just figured I'd take what he could give me. And you know what? Until right now, until he twisted himself up in knots over what he figured I wanted, it worked just fine."
"It's gonna work fine again, now you have everything out in the open." Cody leaned forward. "That's what you want, right?"
"Of course it's what I want. That and Terrence on a spit roast, but I'll take what I can get. Terrence has cleared out, you know -- I went by this afternoon to fire his sorry ass, and he's just gone."
"Are you going to press charges?"
"No, Nick." Mel shook his head slowly. "The cost, the embarrassment -- it's not worth it. I've put the word out, and he'll struggle to find a hospitality job in the trade… it's enough. Meanwhile, we're putting that building on the market, and the yacht too. Consolidating. Concentrating on what's important."
"Good luck," Cody said, and held out his hand. "If you ever want Terrence found -- "
"The further he is from us, the better I'll be pleased." Mel shook Cody's hand, then Nick's. "This is a mess, but you boys -- you were quick, you were clean, and you let me have it straight. That means a lot."
"That's how we work, Mel. The only way to work."
"I appreciate it, and I'll remember it. I left your cash in your room across the road with something to say thank you. The kid on the desk's more used to bar service, but he should be able to find your key all right."
"We were gonna go home," Cody said in surprise. "After all, we finished the case -- "
"Enjoy it. Go." Mel waved a hand. "Some soulless asshole is gonna buy that block, raze it down and put in a car dealership. While it stands, make use of it."
"We will," Nick said, before Cody could speak. "Thanks."
"Life's too short to dick around. I found my guy, I'm gonna make it work. He's an asshole, big deal. The world's round and Reagan's gonna live forever." Mel paused. "Take care of each other. When it comes right down to it, that's all that matters."
"You're right," Nick said, and put an arm around Cody. "Thanks, Mel. Anytime you need us, you just give us a call, all right?"
*
There were pristine white sheets on the bed, fluffy fresh towels on the rack, and Cody's white pants, freshly laundered, were folded on the back of the couch. New candies graced the pillows, and on the table in the entryway sat a fat envelope and a bottle of champagne.
Nick kicked off his shoes, and picked up the envelope. "He paid us double."
"Kind of him." Cody prowled around the room, pausing at the window to look down at the entrance to the Golden Horn. "Mel's a good guy. I feel bad for him."
"He loves Scott, an' Scott says he loves him. They're gonna make it work."
"I hope so." Cody jumped as a cork popped behind him, and turned to find Nick pouring champagne into two glasses. "Are we celebrating?"
"Winding down. It'd be a shame to waste it."
"Guess you're right." Cody took his glass, then followed Nick to the couch. He felt off-balance and restless, unsatisfied by the outcome of the case. The huge, luxurious room felt claustrophobic, full of the previous night's unanswered questions.
Cody wanted the answers, wanted them desperately, but he didn't know if he was prepared to pay the price. He sipped his wine, looking away from Nick, thinking of Mel and what Mel had settled for.
Nick reached out for him, rubbing his shoulder gently. "What is it?"
Cody sighed, noticing for the first time that he'd sat down nearly a foot away from Nick. He moved a little closer. It was unusual for them to be together without touching. "Is there any such thing as true love? The kind where you live happily ever after?"
Nick looked at him for a long moment then shifted into the corner of the couch and pulled his knees up. His bare feet rested against Cody's thigh. "I don't even know what happy ever after means, man. All I got for you is one day at a time."
Cody took refuge in another mouthful of wine. For you. "But do you ever think about forever?"
"You know me, Cody. I'm more interested in here and now."
"Is that enough, though?" Cody drained his glass and set it down on the low table in front of the couch. "I don't know how the future looks, Nick, and that's a little scary. In ten years, are we still gonna have an agency? Are we still gonna have each other?"
"No-one's invented a working crystal ball yet, babe. Not even Murray. That's why I prefer the here and now, you know? At least you know what you've got."
"Yeah, but do you? Mel thought he had it made, and his boyfriend's been making out with half of L.A."
"I don't know, Cody. Do I? Are you trying to tell me something here, huh?" Nick stared at Cody, a hint of a challenge in his eyes.
I love you. I wanna spend forever with you. I want to know how you feel about me. "No." Cody looked away. "I guess you're right. There's a lot to be said for here and now, especially when it's a five star hotel room." He got up abruptly, picked up his glass and went back to the bottle on the table.
"Hey." Nick took bottle and glass out of his hands before he'd even started refilling. "This is going pear-shaped, and I don't even know why. C'mon, big guy. What's eating you?"
Cody stared into the baffled concern in Nick's eyes. The eyes he loved more than anything in the world. Eyes which roved from girl to girl, and settled occasionally on Cody's ass. It wasn't enough.
Cody turned away abruptly and strode across the room, stopping at the window. He stared down at the neon sign for the Golden Horn, heart pounding. It wasn't enough, but he couldn't quit. Just like Mel, he'd take what he could and to hell with the rest.
The thought sickened him.
"Stop this." Nick spoke from just behind him, and laid a hand on his shoulder. Firm, no-bullshit Nick, his tone and his touch telling Cody clearly that the time for dramatics was over.
Cody didn't resist as Nick marched him back to the couch and sat him down.
"I was scared of this case," Nick said without preamble, perching on the couch next to Cody.
Cody sighed. "I know," he said. "I -- "
"Hush. I asked you to talk, you wouldn't, so I'm talking now, all right?"
Cody closed his mouth and nodded.
"I was scared of this case because I figured you'd freak out. Acting gay in public, going to a gay bar, all that stuff -- I know it's been tough on you, okay? And I'm sorry I left you alone in there, I'm sorry that guy came and tried to pick you up while I wasn't there." Nick stopped, searching Cody's eyes. "And I'm sorry about what happened in the alley, too. I was just -- hell, I was being selfish. You were so damn hot, and it felt so good, you felt so good. I should've realized it was too much for you to handle."
"Wait -- " Cody reached out to Nick, completely off-balance. Whatever he'd expected from his partner, it wasn't this. "Nick, I'm not freaked out. That's not it."
"Yeah? You coulda fooled me." Nick looked down at Cody's hand on his thigh, at the distance between them on the couch. "Listen, I been out of line since we took this case, and I know it, all right? I know it, and I'm sorry. Pretending you were mine kinda went to my head, you know? But it's not gonna happen again, big guy."
Cody sat in silence, stunned by Nick's revelation. Pretending you were mine. His mind played on the previous night, on Nick's words, Nick's actions. Feels so real.
"Hey." Nick touched Cody's hand lightly. "I promise, okay? Give me something here, man. What can I do to fix this? You want me to take you home?"
"No," Cody managed, forcing the word past a tightness in his throat. Nick wanted him. Nick cared for him. Or was that just his own desperation, his own need, hearing more in Nick's words than Nick was saying? He looked into Nick's eyes, trying to divine Nick's true meaning.
"Cody…" Nick's voice cracked. "Please, man. Don't shut down on me."
"I'm not," Cody said. His voice came easier, but it sounded strange in his own ears. "I told you, I'm not freaking out."
"You're not talking to me, you're upset -- "
"I'm in love with you."
"You're -- what?" Nick stopped, staring at Cody as though he'd just grown two heads. "What did you say?"
"I said, I'm in love with you." Cody breathed deep, the tightness in his throat disappearing along with the weight on his shoulders. "I thought you and I… I thought for you it was just sex. I thought you'd rather have Bambi."
Nick exhaled shakily. "No," he said simply, and laid a hand on Cody's cheek. "You're crying."
Cody blinked, realizing it was true. "Last night was so good," he whispered. "It felt real… it felt like you wanted me for real."
Nick's hand slid to the back of Cody's head, and pulled him in for a long, deep kiss. Cody surrendered to the heat in Nick's mouth, his hands going to Nick's ribs, holding on as he allowed himself to feel, really feel, what Nick was telling him.
It was there in Nick's kiss, strong, all-consuming. It always had been; Cody realized that suddenly, wondered how he'd missed it, how he'd ever doubted their connection. It flashed through his mind that it was no wonder he could never resist Nick's kiss: how could he, when Nick's heart and soul came with it?
"I've been in love with you since the first day I set eyes on you," Nick whispered in his ear. "I never wanted anyone like I wanted you. I've never cared for anyone like I care for you."
Cody breathed deep, pulling back a little so he could look into Nick's eyes. "You said it didn't make us gay. You said you still liked girls. You said we were just two good friends helping each other out…"
"I was twenty years old, and I thought our life expectancy was a half-hour." Nick blinked and took a deep breath. "Cody Allen, I'm gay. I don't like girls. I don't wanna be your good friend, and I don't wanna help you out. I want to be your lover, and I want to make love with you all night long. For the rest of our lives."
"For real?" Cody's heart swelled. For the rest of our lives.
"For real." Nick pulled Cody close against him, then kissed him so hard, so deep, so filled with passion, that Cody felt like he was on fire. It was impossible to match Nick's heat, or so Cody thought until Nick pulled back, panting.
"You'll burn me up, kissing me like that." Nick's eyes blazed into Cody's, hot with lust. "Need you so bad."
Cody didn't even try and speak. He doubted his own ability to form words. He grabbed at Nick's shirt, and Nick caught his hand.
"Bed. C'mon."
Cody didn't need telling twice.
Chapter 8
"Remodelling the stateroom's easy," Cody said, stretching against Nick's body. "It's getting the mattress in that'll be tough."
"Huh?" Nick rolled over, yawning.
Smiling, Cody traced his fingers through Nick's chest hair. "Were you asleep?"
"Maybe." Nick smiled back, sliding closer. "Guess you wore me out."
"I sure tried." Cody stretched again. His limbs felt heavy, his body still thrummed with the pleasure of their love-making. They were always good together, but this time, the added thrill of whispered words of love, of need -- their new security in each other -- had added an extra dimension. "Felt so good."
"Yeah," Nick murmured, his arms going around Cody. "You sure do."
Cody moaned softly, rolling forward against Nick's shoulder. Nick's hands slid over his back, rubbing gently, then down to his ass. Impossibly, Cody's spent cock woke, twitching between them.
Nick chuckled, rolling onto his back and shifting Cody to lay on top of him. "Down, boy."
Cody took a quick kiss. "I'm done," he murmured. "Whatever's going on down there, it's without my knowledge or permission."
Nick squeezed Cody's ass, then his fingers strayed, seeking out Cody's hole.
Cody moaned again, letting his head drop to Nick's shoulder. His asshole was slick with come and lube, and spent though he was, Nick's stroking fingers felt amazing. "Are you trying to kill me?"
"Here I thought it was the other way around." Nick gave Cody's ass a final squeeze, then went back to rubbing his shoulders. "So let me get this straight, guy. All these years of screwing around with girls, all those times you wouldn't let me touch you in public… what was that? You were scared of what the neighbors thought?"
Cody pulled out of Nick's arms and sat up, scooting back against the headboard and drawing his knees up. He didn't really want to have this conversation -- the only feeling he felt like talking about was how much he loved Nick and how he never planned to stop -- but he also knew it was inevitable. Nick needed the cards on the table. If it came right down to it, Cody wanted the same.
"You always told me no-one could know." Cody deliberately didn't look at Nick. "You get upset if you think people suspect. You get angry, and you go pick up a waitress or a tourist."
"I'm scared if people know, there'll be repercussions." Nick raised himself on his elbow. "You want it straight, I'm absolutely fucking terrified that one day you'll go out, buy groceries, take a walk, I don't even know, and there'll be some lunatics with baseball bats and -- "
"No. Hey, no." Cody dropped his knees, sitting forward and reaching for Nick. "Won't happen. Not in King Harbor. And no-one knows. No-one ever needs to know."
Nick nodded, lips pressed together. He closed his eyes.
"I never knew you thought like that." Cody moved back against the headboard, pulling Nick with him. "I thought you couldn't bear people thinking you were gay."
"People can think I'm a purple alien with four heads who fucks donkeys," Nick muttered gruffly. "I don't care, if it makes 'em happy. But if they wanna hurt you because of me -- "
"No. Stop. C'mon." Cody kissed Nick's hair. "Just you'n me, here, okay?"
Nick nodded against Cody's shoulder, then raised his head. "I'll do anything it takes to keep you safe," he said tightly.
Cody nodded. He'd always known that, right from his first day in Pitbull's unit when Nick had risked his own life to pull Cody, green and terrified, into the safety of a fox-hole. "That goes both ways, buddy."
"I know." Nick breathed deep and leaned back against the headboard, his shoulder resting against Cody's, and fell silent.
"You never let me talk about us," Cody said tentatively. "Or the future. Anytime I tried, you went out, got drunk and picked up some chick. I thought you'd leave me if you guessed I cared."
"I never -- you thought -- " Nick sat forward again, and shot a glance at Cody. "I'm an idiot," he said flatly.
"Well, yeah." Cody rested his hand on Nick's back and rubbed gently. "I've known that since '72. Still not news. What's it got to do with… with what we do in bed?"
Nick scrubbed his hands over his face. "You remember Peggy?" he said in a low voice.
Cody's stomach twisted. "I could hardly forget."
"The night I met her, I thought you were trying to tell me you wanted us to stop."
"What?" Cody wracked his brains. He remembered the night at Straightaway's, a close, hot night at the end of a tough case. He'd been exhausted, worn down, and all he'd wanted was to go back to the Riptide and sleep. In Nick's arms, ideally. "You insisted we went out celebrating. I wanted to go to bed."
"Hey, Nick, I've been thinking. You ever think we're getting too close? Like maybe we oughtta do something else for a while?"
Cody froze. He'd been standing in the salon, aching all over from tackling a crook. Nick had come up behind him, put his arms around him. He'd said those words, then Nick had pulled away and started talking about Straightaway's. "I was talking about the detective business," Cody said, forcing the words past a throat which had become suddenly too tight. "I didn't mean us."
"I thought you did." Nick shot him a hunted glance. "I couldn't tell you no… couldn't risk losing you completely."
"So instead, Straightaway's and Peggy." Cody swallowed the lump in his throat. "Nick, I'm so sorry. I thought you wanted a wife and kids. I thought she was it for you. And then with everything…"
"So listen." Nick twisted around to look Cody full in the face. "This is how it is for me. I gotta date girls now and then to keep you safe." He took a deep breath. "To keep us safe. But none of those girls ever got close, you know? I tried, a time or two, when I thought it was over with us. I tried if I could feel something, maybe be happy. But there's no-one else for me, Cody, only you."
"It's the same for me." Cody scooted forward, sliding his arms around Nick. "Nick, if you want me, if you really, honestly want me -- "
"I want you, all right." Nick pulled Cody down to the bed and kissed him, hungry, hard, possessive.
It took Cody's breath away. "Nick!" He knew Nick had a jealous streak, he'd seen it before, but more usually directed at girls, not at him.
"No more girls," Nick said, low in his ear. "Dates, sure, but you're coming home with me. And if Janet ever shows up again, I'm gonna kiss you in front of her for the whole damn world to see. Be sure, Cody. If you're mine, you're all mine, no going back."
All mine, no going back. Cody felt light-headed. Nick wanted him. Really wanted him. "You really are an idiot," he whispered, heart pounding. "I've always been yours."
Nick rolled on top of him, sliding between his legs. "Even when we go home?"
Cody drew up his knees, pressing his groin against Nick's, running his hands down Nick's back. "Especially then. Always, Nick. Always."
Nick kissed him again, just as hard, just as true. "Get some sleep," he murmured. "You're gonna need your strength tomorrow."
"For remodeling?" Cody pressed a kiss against Nick's neck, a grin making itself at home on his face.
"And other things." He heard the answering grin in Nick's voice, then Nick moved and the light clicked off.
"Love you, Nick." Even though he knew the words were allowed, welcomed, Cody couldn't help the hitch in his voice, the flutter in his heart as he said them out loud. He waited, almost holding his breath, and Nick didn't disappoint him.
"Love you too, Cody. For always."
